Never Too Late | Grey's Anatomy AU

26 | Everybody Hurts

Derek POV:

My heart just keeps breaking over and over again for Riley. I lost count of the times she's cried over the past few weeks. Meredith, Amy, and I have been trying our best to comfort her, but she keeps breaking over and over again. It's as if her sobbing is never-ending. Once it starts, it doesn't stop for a while.

I feel terrible for her. She didn't just lose Rachel, she lost Jonathan...for good this time. I truly don't know how she has the stamina to wake up every day in a world that's seized so much from her. She's holding on by a thread. I wish I could just hold her in my arms and protect her from everything.

I knock on her door with her breakfast on a platter.

"Ry? I have pancakes, your favourite! Can I come in?" I ask

I get no response in return, but I can hear coughing in the background.

"Honey, are you okay? Do you need some help?" I shout

Once again, no response.

I burst through the door and I see her sitting on the bathroom floor, puking in the toilet.

"Oh, sweetie." I tie her hair back as she rinses her mouth.

"Sorry, I don't feel like eating. I don't have an appetite." She sniffles

"You need to eat something, Riley. You've barely eaten a proper meal since you came. You've been leaning hard on coffee and granola bars." I tell

"Dad, I—can't. I don't even know how to breathe anymore. They were covered in blood and still talking, and the next thing I knew that they were gone! How did you and Mom do it? With George, Lexie, and Mark?" I felt my stomach drop.

"It'll take time, baby. Every day is gonna be hard, but we'll be right here with you. I know it hurts like hell, but we can't bring them back. If I had a magic wand, I would fix so many things, Ry. I love you." I kiss her head.

"Jon loved me. He had told Matthew that he loved me and he was so sorry for everything. He never meant to hurt me, he was just sad because he didn't have his family and I drove him away." She cries

"It's not your fault." I rub her back.

"I should've gone in to help Matt, we could've got them out faster and there would've been less bleeding, but Matt didn't want anything to happen to me, so I just stood outside like a coward. I'm such an idiot!" She sobbed

"No, you're not. I'm thankful that Matt put your life before his and what if something had happened to you? There would be no family anymore, Riley. Our lives would be over." I reassure her.

There's a moment of silence between the two of us.

"It is my fault. I'm supposed to protect them, they always protected me and always looked out for me. Now they're dead, it's my fault." She blames herself.

"It isn't, Riley. You didn't shoot them. You didn't hurt them. It is not your fault. Stop blaming yourself for something that you didn't even do and that you had no control over!" I shake my head.

"I wish I could see her. You know Jon's body is just lying in the morgue somewhere because he has nobody. Not a single soul? I wish I could go back to how things were before. Before they all got screwed up." She says and I'm shocked.

She did mention that before us everything wasn't as chaotic and she was doing alright.

"It's okay, Riley. I'm sure you'll get to visit them soon, as soon as her parents come to their senses. They're lucky we weren't there, I would've kicked Michael's a*s for putting his hands on you." I clenched my teeth.