Her Name Was Summer

Break Your Little Heart

I woke up on the couch next to Andy, he looked so calm and peaceful. I softly got up and headed to the kitchen to grab some water. I glanced at the microwave clock, the time read 3:57am. I took my phone out of my pocket and saw a missed text message from Alex.

Alex: I'm excited to see you tomorrow.

I sighed to myself, all I can think is that if I do get serious with Alex then he's going to ask why I broke up with him in high school. It was hard enough telling Jack, the actual father. And how would he react to that? Would he be mad? Hurt? Disgusted? It's too much to think about. I don't want to hurt Alex, I've done it before and it broke my heart.

My nerves were out of control. All I could feel were waves of anxiety causing my body to squirm and an overwhelming nauseous feeling. I anxiously bounced my leg under the table in the library. I just had to get through study hall and then tell Jack that I'm pregnant. I began to write down what I wanted to say to him, out of fear I would do it wrong somehow. I schoolbag was placed down on the chair next to me and I immediately closed my notebook to look up at the owner. It was Alex. Of course it was Alex. He sat down and whispered to me.

"Hey so what did you and Jack talk about earlier?" He asked.

"Nothing really, I asked him to hangout after school." I said while avoiding eye contact.

"Alone? You might give him the impression that you want to get back together." He joked and I frowned. He took a beat before asking, "Wait, do you?"

"I do, but Alex there's more to it than that." I tried to explain.

"I thought that things were going great between us." He stated.

I placed my hand on his, "They are, it's just that..." my words kind of trailed off. I couldn't tell Alex before telling Jack, that wouldn't be right.

He finished my sentence, "That you love him." I sighed and nodded. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place, and now I was hurting someone I truly loved. "Okay, I understand. I'll let you get back to studying." And just like that he was gone.

My eyes began to swell with tears. I loved Alex. I should've told him that. I should've said something... why couldn't I? Why did I just let him leave? A tear rolled down my cheek, and another visitor joined my table, unfortunately for me it was someone I truly despised.

"So Jack is telling everyone you're back together, is that true?" Mel asked, I wiped my cheek quickly.

"It looks like it." I state without emotion.

"Why do you like hurting him so much?" She asked, and my brows furrowed.

"I don't, Mel." I began to pack up my things.

"Well apparently you do. I know that you and Alex left the party together that night, and I bet you two have become really cozy with each other. How do you think Jack would feel knowing his girlfriend and his best friend hooked up?" She asked and I ignored her. I threw my bag over my shoulder and got up from the table, but the harassment didn't stop there. She slammed her hand down on the table, catching many looks from other students in the library. "If you get back together with Jack then I'm gonna tell him your little secret." She threatened.

I leaned forward and met her gaze, "You'd probably be a lot less miserable if you got your own boyfriend." I said and walked away.

I drank some water and went back to the couch. I tugged on Andy's arm to wake him, and his eyes slowly fluttered open. "You okay?" He asked softly.

"Yeah, I just thought you might be more comfortable in bed." I said and he sighed.

"I don't think it's a good idea for me to sleep in your bed anymore."

I sat next to him, "And why's that?"

"We had sex, and although I was confident in saying earlier that I just want us to remain friends... when we're close I wonder if that's what I really want. And I didn't want to share this because you had so much on your mind from your conversation with Jack, I didn't want to make things worse." He said and I nodded.

"Okay, I'm gonna go to bed then." I got up from the couch and started heading towards my bedroom.

Andy got up and grabbed my hand, "Summer I'm sorry."

I turned to him, "It's fine Andy really, it's my fault anyways."

I turn back around to head to my room, but he gently pulls me back towards him. "No, I suggested sex in the first place, and I shouldn't have. I should've put my feelings aside and put our friendship first."

"You had feelings for me before we...?" I asked and he nodded with a chuckle.

"I mean obviously I had a huge crush on you in school, but that began to go away after you moved. But ever since I moved in here it's like I'm that kid again."

"So you want to be with me?" I asked, looking down at my hand he's still holding.

"I think I'm just confused at the moment. I think it's our closeness these past few weeks that have my mind all jumbled. And I know you've never seen me as a romantic prospect so I'm going to work towards getting rid of these feelings." He stated and I nodded. He let go of my hand, noticing he had held it for so long.

I sat back down on the couch and he joined me. "Sometimes I think about what my life would've been like if I hadn't left our school to live in Towson." I stated.

His face filled with amusement, "Okay and what would that have been like?" He asked.

"I don't think you would've dropped out. And I think we would've runaway to L.A. together. And maybe I would've started my own music career rather than being a lyricist. And maybe I would've spent my high school years worrying about my goals rather than what some boys thought of me." He chuckled at the last part.

"You were a teenager, you were always going to worry about what some boys thought of you. And maybe you're right, maybe I wouldn't have dropped out before graduation, but I don't regret doing so. But it would've been nice to have those years with you."

I placed my hand over his. "You're not the only one with feelings of confusion by the way. The way you treat me, I always feel loved around you. And sometimes I think if I hadn't gone to Towson that we'd probably be together and married even."

"Would we have been happy?" He asked.

I gave him a soft smile, "Not as happy as you were with Juliet. You should call her." I state and he nods.

"I'll call her in the morning after we pick up Beck." He said.

"Actually, I'm gonna ask Elena to go with me to the airport. It'd be nice to catch up and have a little girl time." I said and he nodded. "Maybe you can ask Juliet to breakfast instead?"

He smiled a little, "Okay, I'll do that. Thank you."

He pulled me in for a hug, "Always."