Her Name Was Summer

Bail Me Out

"How did you even get into this event?" Jack asked Andy who was hovering over me.

"I've been spending the last thirty minutes in my car trying to call you, but your phone's off." Andy said, completely ignoring Jack's question.

"I'm sorry I think my phone might've died. Are you okay?" I asked.

Andy sighed, "Not entirely, could we talk in private?" He asked and I nodded.

Andy began to the hallway, but before I could leave the table Jack grabbed my hand. I turned to him, "I'm not mad at you." I whispered. "I'll be right back." He nodded and let go.

I'm not sure why leaving the table was so hard for me. I'm upset that Jack slept with her, so why do I still want to be next to him? But I didn't lie to him, I'm not mad at him. It wasn't a shock that he would sleep with Mel, it was that he was able to get to a place where he could sleep with someone else. I'm a hypocrite, and I'm fixating again.

I stood in the hallway facing Andy as he stared at me. He wasn't saying anything, I thought he needed to talk. I decided to break the silence, "So how did talking to Juliet go?"

He sighed, "I don't want to talk about that." He said.

"What did you want to talk about?" I asked.

"I can't stop thinking about what happened the other day. You were good, great actually before Jack came to the apartment. And then ten minutes later you come back a complete wreck. I don't like the idea of you being here with him, or anywhere with him."

I took a step back and crossed my arms, "It wasn't Jack that made me breakdown, it was remembering what I had been through. There's things that I haven't told you... there's things that I just told him that truly did involve him. I'm fine here, there's plenty of friends looking out for me." He nods but stares still with a frown. "But you knew that... so why are you really here?"

"I just needed to make sure." He stated.

"No I'm not convinced, spill."

"I love you."

"And I love you too." I replied and he shook his head.

"No, I mean that I love you, like a lot."

I shook my head frantically, "No you don't." I kept repeating.

He grabbed me by the shoulders, "Yes I do."

I pushed his hands off my shoulders, "You need to move out."

His eyes widened, "Are you seriously telling me that there isn't a part of you that feels what I feel?" He asked.

"You don't love me like that." I said and began to walk back, I turned quickly and said, "Please find somewhere else to stay." And then I walked back to my table.

I love Andy, just not like that. Sleeping with him was a mistake. Letting him move in was a mistake. This entire year has been full of mistakes, but if I want to move on that means no more focusing on boys. They've had my focus for most of my life, it's time to put that focus back onto my life, and if I have to be the bad guy then so be it.

After returning to the table I finished off my glass of wine very quickly and sat listening to my friends reminisce about kinder times. Jack gave me a look, the kind of look that meant "I'm here if you need anything", and I nodded in understanding. I looked over at Alex who had grown quiet, and looked as if he was disassociating. I sighed to myself, seeing him like this made me sad, he was one of my closest friends and I was a little tough on him. I could have been nicer... I still can be.

I got up and tapped Alex on his shoulder, turning his attention to me. "Would you like to dance?" He nodded and followed me onto the dance floor. Still Into You (Acoustic) by Paramore played as we wrapped our arms around each other and swayed.

"I was harsh earlier." I started.

He chuckled, "No, you were right. You're always right. I've just had these feelings for so long... I just didn't know how to resolve them. And I bet that lately you've felt like you're back in high school again dealing with all of this. I'm sorry."

"I'll always love you, just as my best friend."

"I'm definitely telling Elena you said that." He joked making me laugh, "There's that smile."

"The truth is Alex, I think my feelings for you went away in high school when we broke up, and I thought that maybe the reason why I ended things was only for that situation, but it was more than that."

"Yeah my anxiety was out of control back then, sorry..."

"No, I lied to you... The reason I ended things was because I was pregnant and you weren't the father." I said, while staring at the ground.

"Oh Summer... Jack never told me."

"I only just told him."

"And you're sure he was the father?" He asked and I nodded.

"And I wanted to explain it to you in the library that day, but I hadn't even told him." I said and he nodded.

"That makes a lot of sense, I'm sorry I never let you explain."

"I want us to be just friends again if that's possible. No flirting, no romanticizing, just friendship. Would that be okay?" I asked and he nodded again in response.

"What you said earlier really got me thinking... I did mess up big time and I need to go see Lisa in the morning. She deserves an apology face to face."

"I think that's a good idea." I stated. The song ended and we returned to our seats back at the table.

"My turn?" Beck asked Alex and he smiled as he held out his hand for her. The two went out to the dance floor followed by the rest of my friends, leaving just Jack and me at the table.

"The server came around with more wine so I had him pour you another, thought that you might want some more." Jack stated and I gave him a warm smile.

"You made the right call, thank you." I replied and took a long gulp.

He chuckled, "I'm guessing tonight wasn't exactly the relaxing evening you were expecting?" He asked and I laughed.

"Not even close... I asked Andy to move out, I told Alex the truth, and you confessed to sleeping with the only girl I had ever been worried about through the entirety of our relationship. And yet I haven't broken down like I did the other night."

"Summer, I am so sorry." He said and I shook my head.

"I just want to have fun tonight, I wanna forget all of this and just have a good time."

"Okay we have a few options-"

"We?" I asked and he nodded.

"Option #1: We could talk everything out. Option #2: We could get super drunk and blackout on the dance floor. Or option #3: I could drive you home and we could sit and eat ice cream as we watch an Audrey Hepburn movie." He stated.

Honestly I wanted him to take me home and eat a pint of cookie dough ice cream while watching My Fair Lady snuggled up to Jack on the couch. But what would Beck think? I had her fly across the country because of a meltdown only to ditch her at an event? That didn't feel right. And what if everyone knew we left together? Our breakup caused a colossal mess, and now four months down the line we're sneaking off together? I love this man, I always will. I don't know if I trust him like I used to but he's my comfort person so I would want to run off with him. But it feels selfish.

As I sat there thinking my aunt came back to the table and crouched down beside me. "You okay Kid?" She asked. I sighed, and before a word could come out of my mouth she said, "Maybe Jack should take you home hun, you've had a hard week and I'm not sure what happened with Andy outside but you look like you need a break." Beck is practically my mom, no one knows me better than her.

"I can't just leave you here." I stated and she chuckled.

"I'll stay at Elena's place tonight, didn't really want to use your pull out couch anyways." She said and I smiled. I mouthed 'thank you' to her. She got up from her kneeled position and kissed my forehead. "Get her home safely and be good to her." She said to Jack.

"Aye, aye Captain." He replied. She patted his shoulder on her way back to the others. He then turned to me, "Cookie dough ice cream?" He asked and I nodded.