Her Name Was Summer

Afterglow

I rolled my eyes at my fortune and handed Alex the cookie because I know he loves them. "It seems the universe is intervening." He said with a chuckle.

"I don't leave anything to fate and neither should you." I said. I got up and started to look through the DVDs on the TV stand. "Karate Kid or Bridget Jones Diary?" I asked.

"The Karate Kid, obviously." He said.

"What, you don't enjoy the subtle wooing of the dashing Mark Darcy?" I joked.

He rolled his eyes, "Start the movie, your food is getting cold." He said and I did. I sat right next to him, my leg lightly pressed next to his. I grabbed my Kung Pao chicken and really dug in.

After the movie, I made some tea for us and we sat down at the kitchen table. "Please don't take this the wrong way, but I'm gonna stay here tomorrow. I'm thankful for the invitation and everything, I just think joining your family for dinner might be an overstep at this point." I said and he nodded.

"Can I at least bring you some dessert afterwards?" He asked and I grinned.

"Absolutely, I miss your mom's pies." I said and took a sip from my mug.

"I should probably head back soon, are you sure you're gonna be alright staying here alone tonight?" He asked.

"Are you trying to stay the night?" I asked with a giggle.

"I'm not trying to get into your pants if that's what you're asking. I seriously just want to support you and if knowing that I'm here when you fall asleep helps you, then I'm here." He said and my face softened. I took a second to think about it. I honestly had never slept alone in this house, there had always been someone down the hall or right next to me. I live alone but my apartment has security guards and surveillance.

"I might sleep easier knowing that you're here." I admitted and took another sip of my tea.

"Okay, I'm all yours." He said and I began to tear up a little. He placed his hand over mine.

"I don't know why I'm getting emotional. I used to fall asleep alone before I could even ride a bike, I should be fearless."

"You are always so hard on yourself. I think if you treated yourself as well as you treat your friends, you'd have a much better opinion of yourself." And there it is, that feeling that snook up on me many years ago. Alex is just so easy to feel safe around. Just being in his essence, all I feel are good intentions and a light that fills the room. I wiped away my tears and smiled.

I stood up, "I'm gonna go set up the couch for you. Did you need to shower or anything?" I asked.

He lifted his left arm and took a whiff from his armpit. "Yeah I think I'll go take that shower."

He headed to the shower. I grabbed some blankets from the linen closet, pulled out the sofa bed and began to make it up for him. I grabbed my phone and scrolled through the unread messages.

Elena: Hey so I might have told Alex that you were going home for the holidays... please don't be mad at me. As much as I find him annoying, I know that he's a good friend.

I smiled and messaged her back.

Summer: Thank you.

I headed over to the guest room and began to get ready for bed. I changed into my long sleeve navy blue pj top and plaid purple shorts. I threw my hair up into a bun and washed off my makeup. I grabbed my laptop out of my suitcase and answered some emails for work before putting in a little time for my book. I heard the shower turn off and waited ten minutes to go check on him. He was set up on the sofa bed with his laptop.

"You have everything you need?" I asked.

"Yeah, the water pressure is just as good as I remember it." He chuckled and patted the spot next to him.

I joined him on the couch, "What are you up to?" I asked.

"I was working on a song for our next album on the plane. When I was in the shower I thought of another verse so I had to grab my laptop from the car before I forgot. You wanna check it out?" He asked and I smiled.

"You literally haven't let me look at an unfinished song since high school."

He handed me the laptop, "I just always want to show you my best work and I feel kind of good about this one."

Her closet's such a mess
Filling up with all the skeletons she's kept
Nobody's perfect, I confess
But she's perfect enough without ever dressing up

Dirty laundry is piling in her room
She's got her secrets, yeah I got mine too
I don't care about what you did
Only care about what we do
Dirty laundry looks good on you

Now here's some honesty
Sometimes I trip over your history
Wish I could change my mind
But it's the things I shouldn't see that always catch my eye

"I really like it." I said and handed him his laptop. "What inspired this one?" I asked.

"Us. I mean whatever happens I know that you really accept and understand me, and I you."

"Since day one and to the end." I said as I rested my head on his shoulder. "It's sweet of you to write a song about me."

"I mean I think about you a lot when I'm writing." He said and my eyes widened slightly.

"Is that so?" I asked.

He closed his laptop, "Absolutely, you've always had a way that moved me."

I pulled myself off of the couch, "Thank you." I said and started heading towards the kitchen, he followed.

I poured myself a glass of water and sat down at the kitchen table to drink it. Alex sat across from me. "I'm sorry if that was too much." He spoke.

I shook my head, "No, you didn't say anything wrong... it just made me think." I said and took another sip of water.

"You can talk about it with me, I'm never going to judge you." He said and I relaxed in my seat at his words.

"I built my whole life around Jack... I compromised my emotional wellbeing, I supported him in every decision, and I loved him despite all the crap he's ever put me through. As mad as I am with him at this moment, I feel guilty that you and I were so close. Did I cheat on him? In an emotional capacity I mean, did we have an emotional affair?" I asked and he sighed.

"You didn't cheat on him. I know that in every one of those moments you saw me as a friend, because I know when you're looking at me as more than a friend." He said, placing his hand on to mine.

My expression softened, and I sighed in relief. "I just feel so torn. I feel like I came between your friendship with Jack and your relationship with Lisa, and I feel like I'm not the girl you've made me up to be. I mean you speak so highly of me, I just feel that I'm not living up to your expectations." I said ever so bluntly.

"The way I see it is that I could worry about what Lisa or Jack or anyone else thinks... or I could pursue what I want... I don't have any expectations and I'm sorry if I've made it seem that I have this idealized version of you in my mind. I see you for who you truly are Summer, I wish you did too."

I took a deep breath and really thought about what he was saying. Maybe I have been spending so much time looking at my worst moments that I wasn't seeing myself clearly. Maybe Alex saw what I couldn't due to my overwhelming insecurities. I pulled him into a much needed bear hug. As I released from his embrace, I gave him a small kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you, Alex." I spoke.

He gave me a soft smile as he backed away. "I think I'm gonna get some sleep." He said and I nodded.

"Good night."

"Good night, Summer." He said and headed towards the living room.

I headed to the guest bedroom and instantly starfished onto the bed. A strong sigh released from my lips.

"I don't deserve you, Alex." I whispered to myself as my eyes closed.