𝘼𝙙𝙢𝙞𝙣 𝘽𝙤𝙤𝙠 + 𝙌&𝘼

"ᴊᴏᴜʀɴᴀʟ ᴇɴᴛʀʏ"

Topic: All things romance. Just me and my dumbass being a hopeless romantic. Please don't make fun of me—

I hate to admit it...but I'm secretly a sucker for romance. Well now it's not a secret anymore. It's one of the things that keeps me going, knowing that maybe...just maybe my romantic fantasies can come to life!

God, reading about and watching two characters fall in love is just the cutest. I love how deeply it can be written out as well. Some characters just have stellar chemistry, it's wonderful to see. I'm especially a sucker for forbidden love, hence why I adore anthro animal x human ships.

I used to gag whenever I saw couples get all lovey-dovey with each other, but that's only because I was jealous. What else is new, lmao?

But now, my desires for romance and romantic actions have blossomed. Now allow me to ramble about some of the shit that makes my heart melt and makes me swoon.

I don't know whether or not I want to be the charmer or the charmee. Perhaps both.

I'm not big on extravagant gifts. Sure, they're nice, but what I really value the most is gifts from the heart, no matter the price tag. It can be something as simplistic as love poems or art, something from scratch and I'll still adore it. I myself am a big gift giver, as it is one of my love languages. Gifts aren't inclined in my opinion, which makes them even more special. You go out of your way to give something to another, not because you have a gun to your head or someone is guilt tripping you to. You do it because you care about the person, or in some instances love them.

I'll give gifts to my friends all the time, but now I want to give some to the one I desire. I'm just under a lot of pressure because it needs to be perfect. I tend to be a little competitive with the gift giving, wanting my gifts to be the most memorable compared to others since I can be pretty affectionate at times and I want to drill that shit into the ones I care about, that they deserve to be cared for. And what better way to show such a thing through gifts? I of course don't expect any gifts in return since I don't give to get anything in return, I give to make others happy. Not to receive myself. And if I do receive a gift or two, it's just an added bonus. The real treasure is being able to see their positive reactions to the gift.

Words....words mean everything to me. As they do to pretty much anyone. Words are a make or break for me. I'm not saying you have to be like Shakespeare, but just the occasional out of no where "I love you" or "I appreciate you, I'm so lucky to have met you", etc can really mean a lot to me. And with words comes communication. Now granted I'm not the best at communicating myself, but I'm trying to get better. And what I really want is to comfort the one I love. Make them smile, make them feel clarity, whatever it may be. I want nothing more than to be their daily dose of serotonin, make them feel like they can trust me and are safe. So I'd shower them with praise in hopes to make them feel happy and loved. I don't necessarily expect this same energy back, all I really want is to make a positive impact on their life. My love language is words whenever I find the correct words. I'm the queen of genuine flattery.

Talking things out and problem solving, not to mention compromise is incredibly important to me as well. Like extremely, EXTREMELY important. If you can't compromise in a relationship...the likelihood of that relationship working out isn't very high. I hate to say it. I'm not a very combative person when it comes to temperament. I'm more so mad in general than mad AT someone. But I will get a little bit defensive of my beliefs as I will not let anyone tell me what or who to believe. That's my job. Not yours. So if me and my love have different opinions, that's fine! I won't make a fuss about it, I'll respect them if anything. God forbid an argument breaks out, but if one were to happen it would be fine so long as we can talk it out and admit our individual faults. Seeing my parents do this when it comes to making up with each other makes me smile. How they never have an argument that doesn't last over a minute is incredible to be. Their relationships is just...perfect. I'm so blessed to have such loving parents that love one another.

Nicknames and pet names....oh boy...Those get me going alright, those make me excited. Depending on the person, they can be dished out like any normal name. Where I live everyone calls others hun, darling, etc. Which is fine, I won't stop them! But for me, I tend to view them as something special. Between two people that love each other. Like Ashy for instance, I'll let some close friends call me that. But it only ever makes me excited is when the one I love calls me by that. Words cannot describe how much that stupid nickname can make me smile when they call me it. They say it in the most adorable, childish (in this context it's good) way that it makes me melt! Ahhhh! And the pet names they use for me. Even one as simplistic as baby means the absolute world to me. I'm open to all pet names with them.

Comfort....comfort. Something that is a total necessity. If you can't comfort me in my time of need or refuse to attempt to comfort me in my time of need...then I can't. I just can't. As long as there was an attempt, then I'm chill. But if you just ignore me, then I'll be mad. Thankfully, no one can comfort me like the one I love. It's honestly incredible how damn good they are at it. I often feel guilty about it at times, due to how often they need to do so. But they insist that it's alright and that I can come to them whenever they need. Which only makes me even more happy.

Something I often see is equal effort. Equal effort to initiate things, equal effort to reach out, and equal effort to push the point that a couple loves one another. Now it doesn't have to be 24/7, but showing that you are just as optimistic as I am means the world to me. I've been in a lot of past relationships (both friendships and romantic partnerships) where I was the one doing all the work. They only feigned interest whenever it involved going somewhere expensive or giving them gifts, whatever. And well...it hurt, a lot. To know someone isn't as optimistic as you are about something, especially regarding love. Now granted everyone feels love on a different level, but so long as you drive the point home that you're equally as committed as I am, then you got me sold.

Patience, patience. Seeing lovers be patient with each other and still treat them the same while being inpatient (no matter how frustrating) is just....ah! Yes! The one I love is incredibly patient with me, oh so patient. They are by far the most patient person I have met besides my family, and it's so...it makes me want to cry, okay??? Like I don't deserve it yet here they are, saying otherwise and assuring me all the time despite my own issues, refusing to leave my side. I'm not the easiest person to get along with...let alone love. I'll admit that much. I'm incredibly insecure, often clingy, somewhat on the jealous side, two-faced and has uncomfortable mood swings, among other things. But knowing I have them all to myself...it means everything.

I hate how jealous I can be, it gets pretty bad. And often jealousy is romanticized and it kind of sucks. At least for the one that's jealous, usually the one who isn't gets a kick out of it. Like a little jealousy isn't all that bad, but what is problematic is preventing your partner from seeing someone like a friend or lashing out at the person who did nothing wrong. But if they didn't stay in their goddamn lane and continued to flirt with the one I am interested in, then I'll tell them off. That stuff doesn't fly with me.

Moral of the story: keep your grimey hands off of what's mi— *Ahem* What I meant to say was respect others boundaries and their closed/reserved love life! Eheheheh...

Moving on—

Physical contact is also very important to me as well. Sadly, I can't get all physical just yet per se, but I'm hoping to soon. Cuddling has always been on my bucket list, like the good stuff. Something about your partner just holding you as close as possible as if worried that you'll dissappear if they let go even just a little bit. As if they want you around forever. Like time doesn't exist in that very moment and everything just stops, almost as if the two of you are the only ones that exist in that very moment. Hand holding in general says a lot as well, especially when you're in public. Knowing that you aren't afraid to hide me from the world is just....gahhhh! And kissing is nice too. I don't have much experience with it, just simple pecks. But a full on passionate kiss would be to die for!

Quality over quantity, especially when it comes to dates or meet ups. I don't care if it's an hour, I just want us both to genuinely have a good time and enjoy each other's company! Of course I am a sucker for cute little dates. Like listen....if I got to take the one I'm interested in out to go play pool....that'd be the perfect date instantly. I love pool, it's a passion of mine. Of course I'd pay, because I'm a gentlewoman like that. At least I try my darndest to be.

But ultimately, out of all these things, I just want to make the one I'm interested in happy and content with me. That's what I desire the most.