𝘼𝙙𝙢𝙞𝙣 𝘽𝙤𝙤𝙠 + 𝙌&𝘼

ᴠᴇɴᴛ #7

I'm tired of being kind to others, ESPECIALLY those who disregard it!

Showing appreciation, giving gifts, I'm so done doing that shit. Absolutely done. Gifts don't mean shit to people anyway. They never appreciate what I have to say, what I have to give, just me in general.

They're too busy thinking about someone else! They only want THAT person to give them something, not me.

People expect me to give out my trust like candy, people expect me to forgive them...but why would I forgive the people that fucked me over?? Forgive and forget...I never forget.

I'm angry, so so angry. So bitter. So...closed off. I'm done letting people in, I'm absolutely done. I'm done playing nice when they treat me like shit! Whatever happened to kindness and respect is earned not given??? Why do I have to give out my kindness to the people who don't respect me? Like what the actual fuck?

I made a mistake and spilled too much, I need to fix that. I usually have the best pokerface in my group, how could it have failed? Ugh, I need to get better.

I'm so tired of being taken for granted, I'm so tired of DOING ALL THE FUCKING WORK!

Arranging the plans? Me! Giving the gifts? Me! Reaching out first? Me! ALL.ME! Not them, always fucking me! Is it so much to ask for just one person to pause what they're doing, reach out first and say..."Hey, Ash. You're a true friend, I appreciate everything you do for me and how you support me through thick and thin." Something simple. I rarely get appreciated...I rarely get recognition for all my hard work. But what hurts even more is that they brag and boast about going out of their way to say it to someone else who does the EXACT same thing as me and they have known them the EXACT same amount of time as me. It makes me angry. They ignore everything I do and turn around and praise someone else who doesn't do shit! Who doesn't even fucking care about them that much!

So you know what? Fine, I'll play your little game! I love games like these, I always win them. From now on I'll be a closed book, that will never open for anyone again. Because if I do, they won't care and will exploit me because of it. So yeah, I'm fucking done!

I'll just be neutral so not rude or nice, but I won't bother to express shit to people anymore. There's no fucking point anymore. Fuck people, they suck.