TW: Mentions of self harm and suicidal thoughts.
Lately, I've been feeling...empty. Alone. Forgotten. Soon to be replaced. I was never a stranger to these feelings and brushed them off, but now it's different. Now it hurts, especially when those you want to acknowledge you the most do not. Choose someone else. Put them first. To which you are reduced to second choice. I'm tired of being second choice, nothing hurts more than being aware that you could have been someone's number one...if only you were a little bit better. Everyday so far has been miserable to wake up to, knowing very well how the day will end. Horribly. I'm tired of gloomy days. I want good days, happy days, eventful days. Lately I have had nothing to look forward to. And still don't. Nothing has been going well for me. Nothing. I'm not one to quit but I'm getting tired of this endless charade. I haven't been happy, I haven't felt appreciated, I haven't felt valued, I haven't felt loved, I haven't felt like I belong. I don't think I've ever felt like I've belonged. I hurt myself a couple days ago and it felt right. It felt like I deserved it. And you know what? I'll probably do it again. I keep asking myself what the point to my life is, and I haven't found an answer. For all I know I'm just uneeded space. I've failed too many people to be deemed worthy, truly loveable. I've failed my bestfriend and I can never forgive myself. I just, don't want to be alive anymore. I really, really don't. I'm done playing pretend, I'm done pretending like everything is alright. I want to end this game, I want to end these lies, I want to end myself.
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𝘼𝙙𝙢𝙞𝙣 𝘽𝙤𝙤𝙠 + 𝙌&𝘼
RandomI've seen a couple of these floating around the app and wanted to try it for myself. The Q&A portion is for y'all to get to know me better and just have fun asking me things. I thought this could be a fun little thing to do with you all, so here.
