Lost Souls (Agent Severide Serie Book 5)

Chapter 8

Zoey & Kelly's Townhouse, Chicago 

Severide sat on the couch with Jay eating the deep dish pizza they ordered while they curled up on the couch watching the Bob's burger movie that came out during the 9 months she was undercover. "Bob hate's musicals why is he singing? usually he tells Linda to stop singing. This is weird" Severide said as a knock sounded from the front door. 

Zoey went to get the door when Jay stopped her, "I got it babe, just relax and eat" he said before standing up and walking over to the front door and pulling it open to reveal Morgan, Reid, Prentiss, JJ and Garcia. "You changed your hair back superwoman, it looks good," Morgan said complimenting Severide's platinum blond hair but she left the same style as before considering she couldn't change it until the undercut grew out. "Thanks, what are you guys doing here? and where's Hotch and Rossi?" she asked instantly noticing their absence. "They're at Quantico with the director," JJ said as she walked over and took a seat next to the blonde. "Leads is being arrested as we speak, he's going away for a very long time along with his 3 followers," Rossi said as Severide just nodded quietly unsure of what to say as she pushed herself off the couch ignoring the pain that shot through her body. 

The blonde walked over to the kitchen in her white fall out boy crop top, Jay's blue and green flannel and her black FBI academy sweat pants. She could feel everyone watching her as she went to get a cup of water. "Here," Jay said reaching for the cup for her and handing it to Severide who took it from him. "Thanks," she said softly before turning to fill it with water. "You okay superwoman?" Morgan asked causing her to pause and look at her partner. "I wish people would stop asking me that," she replied annoyed as she set the mug down with a sigh before walking over to the bathroom. 

Severide paused in front of the mirror staring at her reflection, she could hardly recognize herself anymore. She felt lost, and confused, in a span of months she felt like she'd lived through almost a decade of Hell. More than anything though she was exhausted, she hadn't slept right in months and now that she was safe and away from these people and their vile lifestyle she hoped she could have a somewhat normal life. Push forwards as she always did but this time was different. 

The agent wanted to move past it but the truth was she struggled with the idea that a person who was supposed to keep her and her team safe sent her off to be tortured and killed to cover up the fact she wouldn't sleep with him. She could feel her blood beginning to boil as she stared at herself in the mirror fighting tears. Who the hell are you? you've become the very thing you hunt, as the thought crossed her mind she slammed her fist into the wall next to the mirror hearing a crack from her knuckle from the sudden impact. A sharp pain shot through her hand causing the blonde to take a sharp breath in before she slide down the wall and started silently sobbing into her knees. 

After a few minutes, the blonde took a few deep breaths and stood back up looking at her reflection in the mirror. Severide wiped her tears away while looking into her eyes, "You're stronger than this, You'll be okay," she said to herself softly taking another breath before she walked out of the bathroom. 

"You okay superwoman?" Morgan asked as she walked into the room, "Yea, I'm great, so what brings you guys by? Miss me already?" Severide asked as she walked back over to the couch taking a seat. "You've been MIA for a year, I think it's safe to say we missed you," Reid said, "So... what's he doing here?" Garcia asked looking at Jay still mad that the detective was married for almost 10 years and proposed to her best friend. 

Jay shifted a bit awkwardly at the comment, "Garcia, he's not enemy number one, he signed the divorce papers with his ex-wife 7 years ago, she just refused to file them," Severide explained to her. The team looked at the detective who was quiet as the blonde tech analyst walked over to him almost getting in his face. "I'm keeping an eye on you, I am everywhere and nowhere at the same time remember that," she warned him glaring at him before Morgan walked over and pulled the woman away. "I think he knows baby girl, you hurt my partner again though and you'll get more than a black eye and a busted lip though," Morgan said with a light laugh only half joking. 

The front door opened and shut as Kelly walked in the house, "There you are, everyone's waiting down at Molly's for you," the squad lieutenant said walking in and setting his keys on the counter. "Kell's I can't mix my meds with alcohol," she replied not wanting to go to the bar if she wasn't allowed to get hammered. "You don't have to drink, you know," Jay said from the kitchen. "What's the point of going to a bar not to mention I hate being around drunk people unless I'm wasted," the blonde pointed out. "I'll stay sober with you," Reid offered causing the blonde to smile a little. "Come on, we don't even have to stay for long," Kelly insisted, "Fine," Severide said giving in. It wouldn't kill her to go socialized even though she just wanted nothing more than to curl up in her bed alone for a year straight, but she wouldn't be allowed and she knew that it would just send a huge red flag to everyone around her. 

Everyone was already overly concerned that she hadn't snapped like a guitar string wound up too tight. The truth was though Severide was past her breaking point, she couldn't sleep or close her eyes without having the memories of the last year rushing back. At the same time, she didn't wanna seem weak or broken after everything she'd lived through this wouldn't be the thing that snapped her and she refused to show how broken she truly was. 

In Severide's mind, she brought it all on herself, if she hadn't been driving like a maniac in the first place she wouldn't have nearly killed Antonio or her partner, she wouldn't have been abducted, Benny wouldn't have been shot and she wouldn't have been called into that meeting with Lead, to begin with.