Silverfish

In an Empty Room

Do I not try new things because I'm afraid of failing at them?

It seems, though, that I am quick to start.

I feel like I'm going crazy. I see myself falling backwards into a dark, endless room. I'm almost there, I'm close. I keep slipping up.

I'm afraid of falling in.

On the other side is sanity and normality. I have to be brave, I can't let myself fall in. I feel hopeless at times.

I'm so afraid of falling backwards.

The darkness draws me in with false senses of security. Foolishly, I rely on those things to bring me comfort.

Everyone around me sees this, but they don't say anything.

I want them to try to help me–but when they do it feels like they're trying to push me into the dark.

So I push them away, but that only makes me closer to that endless dark room.

I fee out of control of my emotions. Nothing feels safe here anymore.

I know the darkness is feeding on me already. I've been letting it for a while.

I want to walk away but I don't have anything else to rely on. I'm afraid of my emotions, I'm afraid of myself.

I shaped my personality around the darkness. Around taunting it's charm, like it didn't have some sort of sickening control over me.

I don't feel okay.

I'm sleepless, I'm scared all of the time.

I lash out at those in which I love the most. They don't recognize the person they fell in love with.

I'm afraid of losing them.

They don't understand me, and it hurts so much.

I don't want to be a selfish person.