Silverfish

Red Rosettes

The girl with dark, long hair sat upright on the wooden panels near the back of the studio, her eyes sharp and content with whatever was on her mind. It wasn't unusual to find herself dreaming of nothing, and often she would let these daunting, blank thoughts consume her in such an apathetic way. The indifference bled onto her face as well, touching everything except her piercing eyes and flushed cheeks. No one could recall the last time she laughed or smiled, or really showed any sort of emotion whatsoever.
She didn't care though, why would she?
She was had a sense of entitlement proclaimed upon herself, and as that may be difficult to pinpoint, it was something that would keep her from feeling inadequate in the eyes of others. Not caring proved to be much easier, especially whenever you're lead dancer.
The instructor enters the studio through an office door to the left of the mirrors, making her way around the rest of the girls' outstretched limbs, "Ladies, may I have your attention?"
The rest of the girls, including the stolid one, ceased conversation immediately, fixing their eyes on the instructor, "Alright, so, the high school theater company has requested the abilities of a few dancers. A couple of the casting directors have come to the studio to select you today, so I want you all to present the routine from the spring recital, alright? They're only taking three, so stay sharp and clean."
The quiet girl arose from the wood and settled into an en premiere, her breathing smooth and artful. She watched the other dancers do the same, albeit distinctly less graceful than herself, as the four casting students entered the studio.
Her eyes immediately fell upon one in particular, but then quickly shifted her gaze back onto the floor. These were students from her high school, seen and heard of countless times before. She wasn't fond of the theater kids, mostly due to their unceasing enthusiasm and hunger for attention, yet she would comply to whatever they wanted. That was her easy burden, and for whatever it was worth she enjoyed a good ballet production.
"Hey guys! We're producing the first student original play ever to be approved by the school, and we want three of you to be featured in the ballet scenes! First though, let me introduce the casting directors. I'm Katie!" A girl with light auburn hair loudly sings.
She moves onto the other three in line with her, "This is Scott, Amanda, and Alice."
Alice beams at the group, waving with immense avidity, "We'll step back a bit so you guys can begin your routine."
The studio is completely silent before the  familiar cello ensemble floods the room with such verve and vigor.
The girls' feet begin to dance against with wood, blocks hitting with every light step.
This routine was an endless white bathtub for the quiet girl, her stance repetitive and bored. She was willing yes, but only to an extent.
That is, until her eyes met with Alice's.
She continued to carry out her routine, never breaking the odd gaze they shared.
Then Alice smiled at her and the girl skipped her count, fumbling to regain her poise and dignity. She flushed with the worst kind of chagrin and forced her eyes away from Alice's, back on the mirror.
Eventually the studio returned to its normal silence and the girls settled back into their en premiere. The four casting directors began awkwardly clapping at the routine, despite the obvious mistakes a majority of them had made.
The quiet girl exhaled irritably, disappointed in herself for letting the desired attention ruin her performance. She knew she was better than this, and did not need any sort of desire or hope for anything. They were useless distractions anyways, and what could she possibly want more than to improve herself?
"Wow, that was amazing! This is going to be hard to choose," Katie pauses, her eyes scanning the students next to her, "You guys pick, I can't."
Amanda and Scott select two brunettes in the front row without hesitation.
Alice takes a few eager steps forwards before concluding, "I want her."
She pointed to the quiet girl, who, flustered, made her way to the front of the studio, the other dancers parting in her path.
Alice leans close to the girl's ear, "You were the best one."
The girl nods, staring down at her pointe shoes with an anomalous feeling pressing against her chest.
Katie claps her hands together, regaining the attention of the girl and Alice, "Alright! I'm super excited to work with the ballet program, you guys are all so talented. Thanks again for the performance!"
The girls do not reply, moving onto the next position as the others file out of the studio.
Katie turns to face the group, "We're gonna head back to the auditorium at the high school now. Just follow me."
The ballerinas and directors comply, passing local shoppes and restaurants along Main Street. The quiet girl maintains the same stoic demeanor, her eyes strictly ahead of herself, seemingly uninteresting in her surroundings.
"What's your name?" Alice suddenly inquires, breaking the comfortable silence between the two.
The girl replies almost immediately, "Sofia."
She beams, "Beautiful name! I'm Alice, as you probably know already. I'm a total thespian but I'm not really into the whole 'acting 'thing. I'm more of a 'behind-the-scenes' kinda girl, but there's nothing wrong with that. A lot of great people worked backstage and without us, plays wouldn't be produced, sets wouldn't get finished. Everything would fall apart!"
Sofia furrows her eyebrows together in concern for the director's complete disregard of their once appreciated silence. She had never encountered this sort of an extrovert before and it admittedly took her back a bit.
"So obviously you're into dance, but what else do you like? I mean, what else do you want me to know about you?" Her words rush together into a dizzy blur of excitement, and Sofia could hardly keep up.
"I'm really not that interesting," she finally says, crossing her arms over her chest as if to surrender all means of a productive conversation.
Alice opens her mouth to say something else yet is interrupted by Katie, "Come on through this back door."
By this point the group had arrived at the auditorium, following Katie through a set of black double doors which lead to a sound room backstage.
Once they all settled in the directors began to teach the dancers the routine, giving them a script with few lines to memorize.
Sofia scans over the script briefly before coming across a quite alarming detail:
Dancer 1 kisses Damion.
Her eyes widened in mortification, however she does not protest. After all, she mustn't be Dancer 1, and the role of Damion would not be kissing her.
Alice notices her discomposure, however, and makes her way over to Sofia, "Hey what's wrong?"
She shakes her head quickly, "Nothing, nothing."
Alice raises an eyebrow in concern, yet does not press it any further.
Instead, her zealous mind gets the better of herself, "Have you ever seen 'Hello, Dolly!'?"
Sofia sets the script onto the concrete floor and dismisses her brief paranoia, "No."
She inhales enthusiastically, "Oh my god we have to watch it sometime! One of my favorite musicals by far."
Sofia was not particularly fond of musicals or dramatic theatrical productions. She was not very fond of Alice's attitude or eagerness as well, despite the fact that she found her spirit somewhat endearing. That, and her short blonde hair.
The next hour and a half was spent on learning their routine. The two other girls, Candice and Abigail, sat on the dark concrete now, conversing amongst themselves with sharp and hushed voices.
"It says 'Dancer 1 kisses Damion'. Who's Damion? Who's Dancer 1?" Abigail inquires, giggling with the absurd thought of kissing a boy.
Candice shrugs and follows along in giddish laughter, "I dunno. I bet it's Sofia though; she always gets the lead."
"True," Abigail pauses, her eyes falling upon Sofia and Alice near the corner of the sound room, "I'm surprised she's actually interacting with someone right now. She's always so like, to herself."
Candice leans forwards a bit to follow Abigail's gaze, "Yeah, weird."
Sofia shifts uncomfortably in her leotard, untying the ribbons binding her pointe shoes, "I've been dancing for as long as I can remember."
"Wow, that's so cool. Doesn't it mess up your feet though? I've heard horror stories about ballerina's feet being like, damaged beyond repair," Alice says, watching as she pulls her pointe shoes off, the blocks hitting the concrete harshly.
"My feet are fine. You just have to be careful," Sofia replies simply, "I've met a few dancers who had to have corrective surgery. They weren't as careful I guess."
Alice hums in comprehension, "So, what's your favorite color?"
Sofia bites her lower lip as if to contemplate such an absurd and general question, "Dark plum."
"Deep! Personally, I love red. Not just any red though, I like lipstick red. Like a red rendezvous, ruby red slippers. Something loud and mischievous," she elucidates, her eyes fiery and excited.
Sofia nods softly, taking the strange and caustic passion with every word falling out of her lips. She was the color red, Sofia had decided, and what an revelling and obvious realization that was. In fact, she was bit unsure of why exactly she enjoyed this kind of differing company, but what was it worth to question her preferences? She had never really gotten to know about anyone before, and despite her reclusive manner, she was intrigued and wanted more. She wanted to know what lit the flame that consumed her whenever she spoke. 
"I'm scaring you, aren't I?" Alice inquires sheepishly.
Sofia furrows her eyebrows together in repudiation, disappointed in herself for making Alice insecure, "No, no, not at all. I'm sorry, it's just, like I said before, I'm not interesting. I don't have anything to say. I'd rather just listen to you. Don't feel bad about rambling, I enjoy it."
Either of the two couldn't believe what the Sofia was admitting, especially Sofia herself.
"Okay then. Well, I have been dying to tell you about the story behind the play, so, you wanna get coffee or something after this and we can talk about it?" Alice asks jovially.
With a terrible flush, Sofia complies, and the two make their way out of the auditorium, the cool autumn air shifting the trees along the sidewalk.
❧
The last couple of weeks had easily danced over the girls' heads with such grace and ataraxia.
Dress rehearsal day had finally arrived, albeit rather discouraging, and the paranoid-stricken detail in which who would be performing as Dancer 1 would reveal now itself.
Katie shifts her weight onto her right hip, staring down at the notecards between her fingers, "Dancer 1 will be performed by Sofia. Jessie, who is playing Damion, is here today to practice the brief kissing scene with you."
Sofia bites her lower lip, desperately attempting to keep her burdening emotions in check. Her embarrassment was almost as obvious as her lack of experience with the opposing gender.
Alice's eyes remain on her quiet dancer, a hint of jealous malevolence playing at her always ebullient demeanor. She couldn't stand about this negative antipathy, especially with Sofia watching. So she forced herself to abscond away into the dark auditorium seats, observing through blinding and hot stage lights.
Sofia quickly glances to Alice for reassurance, but instead receives a pained and uneffective dismissal.
The actor Jessie appears adjacent to her, running his fingers through his thick and curly hair, "Uhm, so you do your little ballet move thing, and then I say my line, and then I pull you in for a kiss."
Sofia lets out an uncomfortable laugh, "Alright."
Jessie rolls his eyes in a sardonic manner before returning to his mark, "It's just one quick kiss okay? Now do your dance and then I'll come in."
She obliges silently and begins to perform the routine, dreading the impending contact.
Jessie steps forwards and catches Sofia's arm, ceasing her movements, "They say to kiss a ballerina is to kiss an angel."
In one swift and unexpected moment Damion kisses Dancer 1; succinct, dry, indifferent.
He pulls away as if anything else would have happened, entirely unaffected, "Let's run through that a couple more times and then I think we're good to go. Alice, thoughts?"
She clears her throat an unnecessary amount to hide the obvious green consuming her, "It was fine."
He frowns, "Really? That's all? Do you think we should make the kiss last a little longer for dramatic effect?"
"No! No, I mean, I think it's fine just like that. Short and meaningless," she offers, crossing her arms over her chest.
Sofia exhales deeply, wishing so desperately the burning in her cheeks would dissipate. She hated the embarrassment and lack of control within her emotions. What was she without her successful apathetic tendencies? They kept her grounded and flat, demolishing any sort of discomfort or opposing irrationality.
Her eyes fall upon Alice, who's glaring at Jessie with the same kind of fiery dedication as before. Only this time, however, it was anything but jovial.
"From the top!" Jessie announces, breaking either of the girls' trains of thought.
Sofia proceeds to the routine again, only this time her eyes remain on Alice's, never changing until Jessie grabs her and repeats his line, "They say to kiss a ballerina is to kiss an angel."
He pulls her head forwards and lightly kisses her, pulling away as soon as their lips make contact.
Sofia steps away, still completely flustered and uneasy, tucking her dark hair behind her ears, "Uhm, how many times do we have to do this?"
Jessie takes a drink of water briefly before picking up his phone to check the time, "Only a few more. I want to try holding the kiss longer; maybe five seconds. It just seems like a longing kiss, ya know?"
Sofia complies, despite the paranoid plight preventing her from carping further. It was just a stage kiss, so why the unnecessary grouses? Perhaps it was the very absurd idea of kissing a boy, or kissing anyone really. Or maybe it was the odd reaction in which Alice presented: Disappointment? Anger? Jealousy? However, she thought it mustn't be jealousy, how could she be jealous of an actor kissing her?
Regardless, the two run through the routine again, bored with either of their roles until the dreadful kiss came.
Jessie read his lines as per usual, pulled Sofia closer, and kissed her. Only this time, the kiss was longer, and his lips moved against hers with such a bemusing sort of reality.
Sofia did not enjoy this; it was obvious by her lack of movement and stagnant stature.
Alice didn't either, and without a word, got up and stormed off through the auditorium's exit, the heavy metal doors slamming into the locking system.
The two pulled away a bit breathless, and Sofia immediately notices Alice's absence, running after her in the same direction she had so abruptly left.
As she pushed through the double doors her eyes fell upon Alice, whom was pacing interminably up and down the thin hallway which separated the dressing rooms from the auditorium.
Whenever she had noticed Sofia's presence she stopped, "I'm sorry."
Sofia cocks her head to the side in an innocent wonder, "Why did you just run off?"
Alice's gaze drops to her shoes, uncharacteristically shy, "I-uh, I didn't want him kissing you like that. Or at all, actually."
Sofia empathized, yet the quite blaring message distracted herself from hiding away her disruptive emotions, "Oh."
Alice shakes her head in wavier, "I'm sorry, I know it's just acting. I'm being stupid."
"No you aren't," Sofia urges, rapidly building up her confidence, "I like you."
Alice's eyes widened the familiar endearing ardor, "I like you too! Oh my god this is amazing."
Sofia inhales slowly and smiles, taking a few cautious yet eager steps towards her, "Kiss me."
Alice complies cheerfully, taking her head in her hands and slowly pressing her lips to hers.