Silverfish

15 hours ago

Have you ever thought about how you like it?
–how you like those self destructive tendencies in which you force yourself through every night?

But then the very next day, you feel like shit? Like absolute shit.
And then you hate yourself for even enjoying those things in the first place.

It's like a never ending vicious cycle.
It churns and festers inside of your mind for a few days.

You hate yourself so much, but you try so hard to pretend like you don't.

You try to "take care" of yourself.

Like that's what you're really doing.

But in reality it's much worse; and every time you "take care" of yourself you're actually killing yourself.

Slowly.

It's slow because of those all too occasional instances, where you break that cycle.

And begin again.