Unsilenced

Alphas Discussion

    I haven't spoken a word since the accident eight years ago, I got away only to be hurt over and over again. I can't say it didn't change me for the better, it made me who i am today, the best fighter in the pack. I guess training was my only way of coping, and all that work has surely paid off. 

Laying in bed I hear a hard pound on the door, probably one of the warriors coming to fetch me for alpha again. I hear another loud fist against the door before I get up and unlock the door. Max our beta violently pushes his way through the door into my room, he has a very bad habit of that. I look at him with confused eyes, he looks aggravated to a point I've never seen before. Maybe he's just having a bad day today, I know I didn't do anything to make him that angry today. 

Before I could say anything not that I would he yelled at me “Addie alpha wants you in his office as soon as possible.” He grumbled a few incoherent words under his breath before marching out the door slamming it behind him. Alpha must have made him mad, it's a strong possibility since they don't seem to get along very well. Why would alpha pick someone he hates to be his beta, i don't understand. 

As I get changed into my training outfit which consists of black leggings, a sports bra, thin tank top, and sports shoes I start to wonder. Why does Alpha want to speak with me so early? it can't be past five in the morning right now, the sun has barely risen. Now I start to overthink every small thing, what does he want or need this time? He asks for me nearly everyday but not so early, does he need another body bag to take his anger out on? I sure hope not. I'm still healing from a few days ago, but I never know with him and his mood swings. He could be kind and caring one minutes and choke me out the next.

I shake off my thoughts as I walk through the halls, just a quick stop at the office and then I can start my morning run. I walked up the stairs and through our maze of hallways till I came to face his office door. Knocking softly as to not anger him if he's already mad at Max for something, which would make sense considering Max's mood. “Come in” his voice pierces through the doors, he is definitely irritated about something. 

   I slowly push my way through the door and walk up to his desk. Making sure to keep my head down to avoid eye contact because he hates it and tells me it makes him feel like I'm challenging his authority. So i'm stuck looking down at my worn out sports shoes. I don't look up unless I'm spoken to or told to look up. ”Adyna, we need to have a serious conversation, I need to ask you to do something for me” he says calmly. I shake my head to let him know I'm ready to hear what he wants of me. “Being the best fighter in the pack, and the only blood family I have left, I want you to take over my alpha position so I can retire” he says seriously.

I try not to laugh, he can't be serious, everyone in the pack knows how much he hates me most of the time and would think this is a joke. Why would he give full power to a pack he loves to someone he blames for the loss of his own family members? “I'm retiring in two weeks, within that time I expect you to at least find a mate as a female should never be in charge alone… also you need to start speaking again or no ones going to take you seriously” he states matter of factly. He waits a few seconds before saying more. “ but i think we both know that's not going to happen, which gives more reason for you to find your mate to be alpha along side you. He states in a serious tone. 

I don't need a man to rule beside me. I'm stronger than any of the other men I've ever met. Though he's right I don't plan on ever speaking another word in my life, even if that means i wouldn't be the best alpha. I look away from him avoiding eye contact once more as he can't see the rage in my eyes. I wish i could work up the strength to look him the eyes a just tell him to fuck off. Though i know i can't for one because i don't speak and two I'm basically his slave here, he only hurts me and no one else so i just take it for the sake of the other pack females. If i did something as stupid as that he would hurt me so bad id be healing for weeks, and neither of us need that. 

“As I'm sure you know your birthday is right around the corner, next week you'll be eighteen and old enough to take over. So i'm inviting the neighboring packs for a birthday party in hopes you find your mate” he can't be serious can he? “The sooner you find him the better for us both, I need to retire and i dont think you'll be able to take over without one” he says seriously. I can't believe this mates are not supposed to be forced to meet, you do when the moon goddess is ready for you too. “You can leave now I have nothing else to tell you right now.” he states, slightly frustrated by my lack of response. 

    I wish he wasn't so hung up on us needing to find a mate, if it's so important to him why doesn't he search everywhere for his. He's sixty and still hasn't found his but wants me to at eighteen what a hypocrite. ‘That's very true’ I hear a small voice from the back of my head. My wolf made herself know the one thing I have left to care about. ‘Zephyna how would i live without you, arguing and talking to me in my head you know you're lucky you are the only one who gets to hear my voice.’ I make my way down the stairs to the front door, it's finally time to take that run. I walk out the doors and the fresh air hits my face waking me up a little bit more. It feels like heaven out. It's the perfect spring weather. I haven't gone out in a few days like I normally do but instead I've been using the gym. Though I'm glad I chose to go out today, its really nice and sunny outside.

I start to take off my clothes so i dont ruin my clothes, not bothered by the others outside. We've all seen each other naked its a normal thing for our pack or just werewolves in general I'm guessing. I tie my clothes in a bag around my ankle and shift for the first time in weeks. My pure white fur coated feet came into my vision with small flecks of gold showing through. My mom always told me I was special for my gold flecks but never told me why. She just said to be careful who I let see it. I haven't thought much of it, I just think it makes me pretty and unique.

  ‘Adyna you need to rest, let me take over’ Zephyna says motherly. ‘You know I can't do that Zeph last time you almost got us killed’ the last time I got awoken by rouges surrounding us. 'Please you need rest, you haven't slept well in weeks, I promise I'll let you back in control if something happens again.’ she's practically begging at this point. ‘Fine but if anything happens again we can't go running for a while. I can't risk our lives for fresh air.’ With those words I slowly sink into the back of my mind letting Zephina take over. I close my eyes and drift away for the first time in a few weeks.

~~~~~
rewritting my book into a new book i hope this is a little better since i started writting this when i was 16 and im now 22

word count: 1415