This is just a book with thoughts and/or feelings that I have. This may include poems that I have wrote. There will probably be some sensitive stuff in here. I wont probably put a trigger warning so sorry. Mainly it will be about my personal life so...
Certain lyrics from that song really get me the main one is what if I didn't feel emptybecause what if I didn't feel empty? I can already tell today is going to be a bad day. I woke up at like 2 am and couldn't go back to sleep. I was overthinking stuff because that's what anxiety does to you. It's gotten 10x worse because of school. I drive to school now and my brain convinces me I'm going to be late so I rush when I have to be at school early. I hate it.
This morning we were outside for band and my anxiety still was skyrocketing. Also in the mornings sometimes I feel very empty my chest feels heavy and like I'll pass out. I play trombone and it's very calming to hug your trombone. My mom threw away my rubber bands so I don't have those to help. a/n that got me sent to the guidance counselor's office cuz I was writing that in the school's google doc
During science, we were just watching a video and I was looking at depressing quotes I found one about anxiety. I tried to dig my nails into my skin didn't help my nails were too short.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
a/n rest of this is out of my remembrance
I hate Spanish the first thing when I walk into the room I see is gender nouns. you see in Spanish there is only girl nonbinary and boy nonbinary no binary and that is only for groups of the same gender.
Math we had a quiz I thought I was going to fail. Pe was fun. I regret saying that but it was we played soccer and one of the songs was super nostalgic. Party in the USA. or at least it was for me. then my other classes were ok.
Show Choir was not the best. I was having a bad day. then when we were singing my friend asked if I was singing I said yes cuz I thought I was. 95% I was just mouthing the words. It all went downhill from there. I'm not the most touchy person and I laid my head on that friend's shoulder and my other friend most of noticed something was off because I normally wouldn't do that. they came and got me and we sat in the back and I couldn't speak. like my throat would close up when I would talk or try to. lots of people came and asked if I was ok and if I needed anything also I got lots of hugs.Im in a conseterably better mood today :)
