Just About Me

I can't rn

they/them

Wilbur soot is a dick. he abused someone I don't watch the person but still(I do know their name I just can spell). Wilbur was my comfort artist/streamer but I physically can't. why is it that the people you look(ed) up to turn out to be bad people? Looking back at old videos, you can see the bad things he did. I hate researching people because they all turn out to either be bad people or make bad mistakes. I hate this Lovejoy was one of my favorite bands but if there are bad people in the band how can I enjoy the music without feeling bad? With Mcafferty he abused people too but I still listen to him What is the difference? is it because Mcafferty sounded like he regretted it or is it because I wasn't listening to him at that time? I can't do this anymore. I felt the need to block Lovejoy because of him wtf did he have to ruin one of my favorite bands? I'm not even letting this cause a breakdown, it shouldn't be this hard. He was a bad person why is it so hard to let go of Lovejoy for me? I saw a post that said 'Why did it all go to shit after Technoblade passed' and why did it? it used to be a happyish place where the only drama was on the Dsmp(I joined the fandom 2 or 3 weeks before he passed so I don't know the drama before that). why is it so hard to throw away the past year and a half? he's turned out more and more like his DSMP character abusing and manipulating.

the more I've been in the fandom the more I've realized the song Don't Meet Your Idols/Gut Punch by Everybody's Worried About Owen reminds me of at least my experience with the fandom.

All the good people are gone(Technoblade)
Or at least the ones I know
I know that's nihilistic bullshit
And my friends have told me so
I feel guilty being hurt
'Cause there are other people hurting
And those people really need support right nowI cast a stone out on the water
And it came back to me
And it broke the laws of physics
But I kinda wish it sank
'Cause when you break what can't be broken
There are people who get hurt
And those people really need support right nowEvery time I see a spark (me seeing good in a famous person)
There's someone putting out the fire(drama with that person)
But I will not let my grandparents bury their grandchild(the drama hurting people including the people involved)
It's a struggle back and forth
And I'm learning, but it's happening by force
It's 4 a.m. and I'm fucking tired(I'm tired of drama, I want to go into my world and have my idols without drama)The holes in these socks have been there for a while
But I keep holding on, I guess they fit my style
I've been walking this road and I'm getting pretty tired
I've been walking this road and I'm getting fucking tired
Don't meet your idols They said that you might have your flaws, but I didn't listen (Wilbur soot)
And I bowed at the base of your feet like some sort of lost kitten(somewhat supported him threw the previous drama with something he said)
And I watched how you treated your friends, my mouth filling with bile(everything that he did in videos)
But karma is a double-edged sword, and you lost at your trial(he got what he deserved)
Don't meet your idolsDon't meet your idols

lyrics from Everybodys worried about Owen.

I don't support him anymore.