Just About Me

show choir

they/them

i hate this time of the year with show choir and school. with show choir, it's the dance captions yelling at you every fucking time because 'we clean this spot every time' The reason I can't remember is that every time someone yells (student teacher parent anyone) I shut down and my choir teacher said that she sensed that people shut down in today's rehearsal then she said 'we can't shut down in rehearsals' and I'm like every time the dresses dance caption yells (there is meant to be 2 but this one always takes control) I shut down and that why we have to clean all the time. 

we got like a total of maybe 2 minutes of breaks for water our practice is 2 1/2 hours. she does that all the time. our dance captions want us to practice but there's not enough time in my days to do it.  i have either early morning practice or late practice then school which is around 7 hours then i need time to decompress for like maybe 2 hours so my homework is never done. then on the weekends to feel accomplished i have to make my 2 time limits (i have 2 2 hour screen time limits one on Safari and the other on YouTube) go off before i can do anything else. but i only have the videos of our dance on YouTube by 10 a.m. The time limit is done and I can't watch it anywhere else.  i have a terrible time conception to it because my parents dont believe i have ADHD. so I can't seem to do anything because i can't focus. 

also, this time in school when i start getting behind because i couldn't focus. soon enough finals is going to hit and i so far behind that even if i had the motivation to study i wouldn't be able to because i get to stressed because i can't focus my mom thought its just my anxiety and im like not focusing comes first. 

also, i think i get stress headaches. because i'll get 2 headaches in the same 2 spots every im stressed or worried about something.