Why am I afraid? | Seongjoong

Chapter VII : I Want to Spend Time With You

~Hongjoong~

Currently, it's 7:30 pm.
I'm standing outside of the apartment, staring at the front door. I don't know what I should say to Seonghwa. Isn't it weird to be home this early? Will he be happy to see me? He didn't seem to care this morning. He's probably tired of waiting for me to actually talk to him about everything or anything really. I made and still make every single thing harder than it actually is. Sometimes being a stressed perfectionist is not a good quality.

"Chin up, Hongjoong! Let's go!" I tried to motivate myself. I opened the door with confidence just to find the house empty.
No Seonghwa.
I searched for him in every room but nothing, none of my friends were there.
I heard a loud sound coming from Mingi's bedroom.

"What is that? Someone there?" I yelled hoping someone would answer. "Ghost, please, I'm trying to be a better person today so don't haunt me."
I took my courage in both hands and proceeded to knock on Mingi's bedroom door. "Hello?"

"Fuck! Get out of me! Hurry up!" Someone said in a whisper loud enough for me to actually hear everything. After a minute, Mingi partially opened the door. His face was red, he looked out-of-breath. "Hongjoong hyung! Hi. Can I help you with something?"

"I just came home, I thought nobody was there. Are you okay in there?" I asked a suspicious look on my face.

"Yeah, I was only doing some.. hmm.. exercises. ALONE! That's it" He replied with a crooked smile.

"Whatever... Do you know where Seonghwa is? I thought he was already home." I asked.

"He said that he'll be back around 8:30 p.m."

"Thanks. I'll see you later." I waved at him and he immediately closed the door. I'm pretty sure I heard laughing.
I then proceeded to inspect every other room. I found no one else.

I decided to go clean my part of the bedroom I share with Seonghwa. I think he would like that. When I entered, I could see Seonghwa's side was all nice and clean. He had put my clothes in my corner, next to my bed. I knew he wanted to tidy my stuff even if I told him not to. I supposed he would be really happy to see the whole room cleaned.
After 30 minutes, I finished. Most of it was just folding my clothes and putting some of them in the laundry basket. I do hope he sees my efforts. As small as it is.

It was about 8 p.m. when I thought of ordering some food for the eight of us. I think I should greet them with something since I've been so absent. Small gestures, yeah.
The food arrived before everyone came home. I was still alone until Yunho came downstairs. I was quite confused because I thought no one else was there except Mingi so I asked him. "Where were you?"

The small surprise look on his face which immediately vanished. "Oh, I was in my room! Studying." He replied.

I opted to stop asking questions when I saw the hickey on the low-side of his neck. I'm not sure I want to know more, I'm pretty sure I know the person who did that but I'm not sure I wanna verify my theory. So I act like nothing and change the subject. "I ordered some food for dinner!"

Right after I said that, Mingi entered the living room. My eyes went from Yunho to him and back to Yunho. Yunho looked shocked but also angry at the man. "You were supposed to wait at least 15 minutes..."

"Sorry Yunho, I just already missed you." Mingi innocently responded. Yunho rolled his eyes but smiled nonetheless.

I think I never lived through something more embarrassing and cute than this. Am I invisible?
Yunho simply said. "Hyung, just don't tell the others. We'll do it when we're ready." As a response, I simply nodded. I was clearly not in a position to judge them.

I was in a conversation with Mingi and Yunho when the door finally opened to Seonghwa. When he moved his head up and saw me, a shocked look plastered on his face. He gently smiled at me. Our eyes met, at that moment I couldn't take my eyes off of him. It was just like he hypnotized me. He was so good looking even though he had a long day working. I felt a weird feeling in my stomach thinking about the fact that Soobin had the chance to be with him all day long when I just had a glimpse of the man this morning.

I'm really jealous. What's happening to me?

I zoned out for a moment. I didn't even realized Seonghwa had approached me. He was way too close for my taste at my current state, waving his hand right in front of my face. "Hongjoong, are you okay? Are you there?"

"Oh my god, I'm sorry! What is it?" I replied genuinely apologizing.

"I was just saying that I'm going to our room to change and I was thanking you for the food." He stated with a grin.

This man is gonna be the death of me. Just by those words, my heart fluttered. I only nodded as a response, I couldn't open my mouth anymore. Seeing him and actually talking to him was really something and I don't even know how to react anymore. I do not know how I can go through the whole dinner with the dark haired pretty guy in front of me without passing out.

As soon as Seonghwa went to the other room, the rest of the team came home. San was with the three others, an arm around Wooyoung's shoulders listening to what the younger was saying about his day.
San was waiting for the dance team every day, going to the studio at the end of their practice to bring them home, guaranteeing they'll eat enough and sleep correctly.

When Seonghwa came back, we all sat down around the table and began to talk and laugh. It was like a family gathering, it was really heartwarming. I didn't feel this good for days. I needed them and this. I almost let tears fall out of my eyes but, luckily, I didn't cry. They would've teased me a lot after I did and probably cried alongside me.

I felt Seonghwa's eyes on me all dinner. It seems like we both need to talk. We can't stay like this. Avoiding each other or acting like everything was normal with that weird tension. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna talk to you Seonghwa.

To be continued...

Kang Yeosang
• 20 years old
• 2nd year of Dance studies
• wants to be a professional dancer, and perform on stage

(Edit : The little information I put after the "To be continued..." are just there to have a better understanding of the story but they're not really useful for the scenario.)