When Stars Fall (NaNoWriMo22)

Chapter 5

The inn's owner takes me up to a room, a beautiful room, with a bed and bath. So, this is what human comfort looks like. What I couldn't give to lay down and experience that comfort for myself. But she directs me to the opposite side of the room. "Here, child." She places me behind a...a moveable wall? "Go ahead and remove your chemise. I'll clean it for you and give you a proper dress in the 'morrow." She caresses my cheek in a motherly fashion. It warms me from the inside. "I'll go see if me husband has gotten the water." I quietly nod, the only answer it seems that I can give her.

Carefully, I pull my dress up and over my head. I stand bare for the first time in the day that I've spent here. I run a hand over the skin on my arm. It's unearthly pale. Sensitive. I raise both of my hands up to my face, running my fingers over my lips, my nose, my cheek. What do I look like, I wonder. I survey the room for something to look at myself with. Any reflective surface will do. To the right of me hangs a grand looking glass. Oval in shape with the same rustic decorative leaves as the front door.

And in it, a face I do not recognize. I turn my head to the side and so does she. My dark hair is caked in mud and grime. My face is dirty, yes, but I can see my features clearly. I have strong, full eyebrows. My eyes are almond-shaped, slightly upturned. My lips plump and rose pink. Is this...beauty? The lady questioned it, I think. Am I not?

My eyes travel down the rest of my body. There are weird patches of purple and blue on my abdomen and legs. I turn and look at my back. There are the same patches on there too. What is that? Am I ill? Was it the travel that has caused a disease in me? This form is incredibly frightening. I do not know how long I was staring at myself before I heard the door open and close. "M'goodness, look a' those bruises," she fusses over my body as she examines them closely. "A warm bath with help with those." She nods satisfied and goes back for the bucket she left near the door.

She waddles back to the tub, pouring the water in. It steams right away. I eye it with uncertainty. "Come, girl." She beckons me in, but I stay rooted in my spot. She huffs at my disobedience. "Come, come." She grabs my arms and forcibly makes me step in the tub. "I added a tab of lavender for the wounds on your feet."

"Yes, thank you." I sink into the warm water, sighing as my body relaxes. It is heavenly! The warmth soothes the tender parts that pains me. "I'll leave you be then." She pats my head tenderly and goes with the bucket in her hands. "Truly," I call out after her, "I am grateful." She shares a friendly smile and closes the door. I sit in the bath with absolutely no thoughts in my head. So, this is comfort. A small part of it, I gather. There are no words to describe this feeling. One can even watch it occur to others and still not be able to know how this feels. A small smile plays on my lips as I submerge into the water. Water. I can feel water. It cools and it warms. It heals and it grows. It moves and it flows. This is so beautiful to experience.

I scrub the grime from my skin and hair. Cleansing myself isn't as hard a task as it appears to be. I wonder why humans do not do it often. My hair is long, I observe. And, I think, dark. I cannot tell due to the dim lighting. I have this feeling at the pit of stomach. Something fluttering. It makes me giggle. A familiar white light slowly radiates from my pale skin. The smile drops from my face and the feeling plumets immediately. The white glow goes with it. Panic expands from the deepest crevices of my chest to the very points of my toes. Both of my hands grip the rims of the tub as I gasp for air. I am paralyzed. I cannot move or breathe. I am being suffocated by this body. Tremors racks through my limbs as the inner struggle grows.

I see Maraynia fall. I see her being helped. I see her disappear into the darkness never to be seen again. And I hear her shrieks of fright. I choked on the poisonous air as I reject this atmosphere. I don't hear anything else but my panicked breathing. The heavy and shallow gasps coming from the back of my throat. I go numb from the pain.

After what feels like eternity, I feel a hand on my back that pushes me forward. The touch of a familiar embrace grounds me to the present. "Alcyone, breathe. Breathe!" I try to inhale, but it sounds like a whimper. "It's okay! You're okay. You're safe." Averett pulls my legs together and lifts me up from the bath. He quickly places me down on a stool, reaching for something overhead. "Here," he wraps me in soft cloth. "Alcyone, you're having a panic attack. You must breathe deeply. Inhale, exhale. Follow my lead." He inhales, pauses, and exhales. I model my breathing after this pattern. Inhale, pause, exhale. Inhale, pause, exhale. He does this with me until I stabilize myself.

"There," Averett pushes my wet hair off my face. "What happened, Alcyone? Did she do something?" I shake my head, no. A panic attack? Is that what it was? Every second that I spend in this world only turns me more human. "It was me." I wrap my arms around myself. "I am alright now." Drops of water drip down my face. I watch them fall on my arm. I must learn to control my shine. Anyone who sees it will recognize what it is. I am in grave danger. Should I tell Averett? This affects him as well. "Would you like to talk about it?" Would I? No, I am not ready to start that tale.

So, I shake my head. "Very well," he sighs and looks down at my wrist. I follow his gaze. I never realized how different the silver chain weighed before now. I had too many discoveries to find. Its chain had retracted into itself into a wristlet. "Did you do that?" I ask him quietly. He runs his thumb over the simple design. "I simply willed it to disguised itself. It matches your necklace, actually." Oh, the bloody necklace! I have forgotten. That King has passed by now. His sons searching for this very item.

I clear my throat and shake myself from my thoughts. "Will you pass me my dress? I think I'm developing the shivers." Averett rubs my shoulders as he reaches down to the floor. "Tabby gave me this for you when I was making my way up." He places the dress on my lap. "She said she'd pick up the dress up tomorrow morning to wash it." My hand hovers over the cloth dress. It has tiny, embroidered flowers along the hem and neckline. Delicate. "What is it for?" Averett steps away from me. "It's a nightdress. Tabby had a few from her daughter."

"Tabby?" I finger the material between my two fingers.

"The owner of the inn," he answers me. "I only found out her name because her husband, Richard, was mumbling something about marrying a woman like Tabby." Tabby is her name. Should I have asked? It was nice of her to let me wear this for the night. "The bath isn't as warm as it was before, but it is still usable." I gesture up at him. "You can change here, and I'll go get ready on the other side of the room." Without waiting for an answer, I grab the nightdress and leave him be.

I quickly dress and jump in bed. My body sinks into the plush bedding and I relax into it. All my sibling must be watching once again. They should know that I am safe. That the danger is out of reach from me. I bet they are speaking amongst themselves like they've always done. Except, now, they all must be keeping an eye out for the Witches and noticing how I've come this far. The others barely lasted a day. I have beat the odds. I'm sure Atlas is proud of me. 

I mustn't let my thoughts go down that road again. I'd rather not have another panic attack anytime soon. Human emotions are so intense, so vivid in nature that it would drive any sane person mad. I understand the motivations of most mortal men now. Greed, lust, rage. It must all drive them to the brink of madness. I breathe, in and out. Nothing has made any less sense than it does now.

"Oh, sisters, brothers," I whisper into the dark, "you would not wish to be humans if you knew how terrible it truly is."

I can already hear them now. How can you judge if you've only spent a day as a human? What have you seen? What can you experience in just a day? It is true that many mortals have achieved much in day, but we are not such mortals. Our views can only allow us to see so little. We are who are, and we need more time to understand. 

My eyes drift out towards the window. The starry night only makes the hollow in my chest grow. Is this what homesickness feels like? I've seen many weep for their lost homes. Can I now do the same? I decide not to think about it as exhaustion allows me to float into a restful sleep. Although my mind wishes to continue its frantic row, my body succumbs to the much-needed sleep.