When Stars Fall (NaNoWriMo22)

Chapter 38

"You cannot stay here, Alcyone," Averett abruptly stands, "Do you know how much danger you'd be in?"

I sat still in my seat on the floor just watching pace in front of me. "You said that you would go back. You said that you wouldn't stay. That was the whole basis of our deal!" I slowly rise, eying warily. So much for his joyous mood. That lasted about half an hour. "I did say that, and I will complete with my end our deal. I'll go with you, but I'll be coming back here. I don't understand why you're fussing over this."

Throughout our journey across Realm Beyond, I had undergone changes within myself that I had only recent begun to notice. I do miss my family, but the thought of leaving doesn't have the same appeal as before. I can't bring myself to leave just yet. "Alcyone," he shakes his head in disbelief, "you can't expect me to leave you here all alone."

          "I won't be alone!" I can't believe this. I know he cares about me, but this is beyond simple worry. "Humans are complicated, yes; but they have goodness in them. If I find one or two of them here, then I won't be all alone. I'll be able to create my own community. These problems will continue to exist whether I stay here or not."

          Our lives have been drastically turned upside down because of a small trinket. His life deserves to go back to normal and return home to safety. To his poor mother that must miss him terribly. "I-I just don't understand." Averett stammers, running a hand through his hair. "Where will you go? What will you do?" More great questions. To tell the truth, I have no solid idea of what I will do in my future. It is unfortunate that I cannot watch what lies ahead for me. "When I return from your home, I'll come back here. Help Eatie revive the inn...and then I'm not sure."

          I have yet to finish First Brother's book. There is a chance that whatever I find in its contents will lead me to a greater chase. A greater purpose to my being here. Or maybe I'm trying to find reason for being among individuals who are so very different from me.

          "That isn't good enough, Alcyone," he whispers sadly.

          He reaches for my arm. There's something else in his eyes now. Something new. Something terrifying. Averett raises his hand and tucks a stray strand behind my ear-catching me off guard. His fingertip intimately lingers on my skin. What is he doing? An unidentifiable warmth spreads from his touch. My breathing accelerates as his attention suddenly becomes heated, different. Averett cups my face and pulls me towards him. His lips land on mine before I could even pull away.

          His teeth gently sink into my bottom lip, pulling it gently. I easily give in to his command. My hands move up to his arms as I follow his lead. Everything inside me ignites. My heart soars with his kiss, with his touch, his care. I lose myself in it. The thrum of delirium with a mix of devotion. It leads me to the brink of insanity. It excavates my love for him from the brightest part of my heart. I could give in to him now. Give him everything I am and everything I have. But all for what? For it to end tomorrow? For this single loving moment turn sour in the morning's first light? That isn't how I want to remember him.

          With great effort, I pull away from his kiss. I back away from him, keeping my eyes closed as I do. "We can't do this," I say quietly. We couldn't begin something that may not have a future. As far as we know, our paths will lead us in two very distinct directions. And what of Everly? How can I face her knowing that I let this go further? "We cannot do this because you have not made a choice, Averett. Your actions are fueled by something ugly. I want this to be true."

          "This is true, Alcyone."

          "Is it?" I turn my back on him. "Tell me something then. Am I still going with you to the Wall tomorrow? Am I still being presented to Everly?" There it is again. The hesitant silence that always comes whenever I ask him a weighted question. He doesn't know what he wants nor which path to take. I will not let myself be dragged into this turbulent life on top of everything that I have yet to settle.

"You have chosen not acknowledge my feelings for you and I was understanding." It broke my heart, but I kept my head held high. "I accepted that my love for you will always be unrequited. I had the strength to let you go once our journey was over. For you to suddenly kiss me, just as I am about to hand you over to her, is not only hurtful but cruel."

          I wanted our last night together to hold a little bit of magic. It would've been something to remember many years from now. For when his children ask him about his adventure in Realm Beyond. I knew he would remember me with fondness. As I knew I would, since all my firsts have been with him. All my first memories, all my first moments and experiences. If anyone asked, I knew I would tell them about him.

          "I didn't mean for us to come to this, Alcyone."

          One never does. Over the course of a millennium, I have watched love blossom and shrivel up faster than they could 'I love you'. There are many ways that love can survive the dessert. Unfortunately, there have been so few that have made it to the oasis. "If you really wish for us for us blossom, then you must tell me your choice. Averett, you must tell me what you want, what you desire. I am no mind reader. Unfortunately, I have yet to discover if that is a part of my abilities."

          I sigh, tired of our conversation. "I have told you how I feel. I told you how I would go to the far beyond for you." My eyes fill with tears that I have to constantly blink away. "It's up to you now." I leave him without looking back. And he makes no effort to stop me.

          I cannot find it in myself to fault him for letting me go. Humans are known to have difficulties navigating their emotions. I know I have. He's loved only one girl his entire life. First loves are always harder to let go of, or so I've heard. Nevertheless, this is our last night together. If he truly wanted me, he would've stopped me. Averett wouldn't have another chance to after this night. The thought breaks my defenses, and a whimper escapes my lips. My sadness could crack my heart in two by how much it weighs against it.

          Oh, my siblings. What will I do without my guardian? The one that fate had given me. I have yet to finish my adventures here. Somewhere deep inside of me believes that there is much left uncovered. If I should focus on anything after we part, it is this.