Freezing - Unfreezing

43 | Lying

"Things we can't see affect our lives much more than we think. "
                                -Tokyo, La casa de papel.

JASPER

At least am seeing her this afternoon. It's 5:10 p.m.
We were supposed to meet at school at 5. She is never late, from the first day we did these private lessons here in school. One part of me is worrying and scared of the idea that something happened to her. And the other part is worrying if she forgot about the lesson we have and she is still drinking a coffee with Nate.

5:30 p.m.
I don't wanna call her or interrupt her in anyway. All I can do is wait. Here she is. The door knocks and she gets in in a hurry.

-Am sorry. Am sorry for being late. I... I overslept... I didn't hear the alarm and.. I was walking , or running to be here.. Then I thought of texting you that I will be here in 5, but I forgot my phone home..

-Hayley?? Calm down.
Am trying to stop her reacting like that. Am glad she is fine and it hurts me seeing how much she worried of being late. She sits to the chair in front of my desk.

                               HAYLEY

-So, did you sleep well??
He asks me. I don't understand. How can he not be angry with me that I've been half hour late? And stays that calm?

-I.. It was good.. Am tired all of the time these days. I don't know why.

Lying.
Lying.
Lying.
Of course I know why.. because every night am hugging my phone to sleep, waiting for a text or a call from Steve that I never get. 

-If these lessons stress you out, I really think that you are more than ready for that test..

-I don't know..I'm tired.
I said leaving a tear slide on my cheek. I tried to wipe it immediately with my sleeve which was covering my cold fingers too. It was really cold outside that I can't even feel my fingers.

-Am sorry. I don't know what's happening to me. I don't have the strength to do anything lately. Yesterday I even overcooked the frozen pizza!
I fake a smile to cover my face which was ready to explode and start crying.

-Frozen Pizzas are tricky. We all overcook them sometimes.
He tries to make it sound better.

-And then, for no reason at all.. I went to the balcony to watch the stars...And stupid me, I forgot that the door locks from inside! 3 hours outside! No phone. Nothing. Thanks good my neighbour went to smoke to the next balcony, so he saw me.

I watch him closing the books and slide them besides.

-We are done with this. Everything comes to an end.
He says and I didn't now how to react with this. He must feel disappointed with me that I agreed with these lessons and now just give up.

-What do you really want to do right now, Hayley?
He asks with a serious look. Is he mad?? I can't understand him.

-I want to sleep.
I admit and he stands up.

-Come on. I will take you home.

-What?? Like now.,?

-Yes Hayley. You need to get some sleep.
We walked to the door and he slides his jacket on me and we reach the elevator.

Is this really taking so long? Or I want to sleep so fucking bad that waiting for the elevator to go down feels like forever. Suddenly, the elevator is stuck. Doesn't go up or down. It's just stuck.
I turned to look at mr Jasper, who was already confused too. Am starting feeling dizzy and my heart is ready to explode. I've never been stuck before.

I wanna get out!!
I need some air!
Am starting panicking.

                              JASPER
Hayley starts moving fast in the elevator. Her moves was more than scared.. but a panic attack. In one second she was on the right side and the other second on the left. She started knocking the doors and took my jacket off.

-I pressed the emergency button.. They will get us out soon..
I said trying to calm her but didn't work.

-When is soon???  Who's gonna come here?? Who's gonna get us out??? No one! We.. We will die here! IN THIS FREAKING , FUCKING METAL BOX. I.... I can't breathe!
Her face was red and she kept moving fast.

-How long can we breathe here?????
She asks me panicked.

-Am scared, Jasper!

Whoa.. It's the first time she calls me by my name and not just Mr Jasper.

-Nobody is gonna die today, Hayley. I promise you that.

-Don't!
She points her finger to me.

-Never make a promise you can't keep!
She says strictly and she continues knocking the door aggressively. I can heat her breathe out loud. I can't watch her like this. Every time I tried to calm her down, she ran away and started knocking every wall of the elevator. And then there is me, trying to follow her and knocking with her just to make her feel that I am with her in this.
She started talking nonstop again. I have no idea what she was talking but she scared me a lot. I won't never forget myself if something happens to her today. And letting her acting like this now, that's exactly what will happen.

-Hayley!
I called her name to get her attention; but pointless. I called her more than 5 times and still zero attention.
Nothing.
Please... stop acting like this.
She is pregnant... I can't let anything happen to her.
I put my hands to her shoulders and turn her to watch her face.

-Hayley STOP!
I slap her softly on her cheek. I hate that I had to do that. She freezes. She maybe hate me for that but I can't let me hate myself later if anything happens to her. Am not hearing her breath loud anymore. She seems more calm than confused.

-We gonna be fine..
I keep saying and she sat down. I sat next to her and looked at her.

-Sorry that I had to slap you.
She turned to look at me.

-Can I hug you?
She asks me looking in my eyes.

Damn.
That question.
Is the best question that someone has ever asked me.
I opened my arm and let her lie on my chest.

My heart is now ready to explode.

-They will get us out.. As you said.
She says after she felt my heart beating that fast thinking that I got scared.

There is something you don't know, Hayley.
Am not scared of us being here, stuck in the elevator.
Am scared of you, having your head on my chest, that closed to me.
Am scared of my feelings.

Am scared that you didn't just reached my attention, but made me fall in love with you.............