How Could Cupid be so Cruel - Elmax

10. It's 3:45, And I Just Bite My Tongue

self harm

It was around six now so we decided we should start packing up our gear. Just as I slung my guitar over my back I hear a car pull up on the pathway a bit down from the cliff, I look over expecting to see Joyce here to pick up Will early like she always does, she still ends up leaving last though because she doesn't like the idea of any of us being left alone waiting for our parents, but to my surprise I see Steve, Robin, Nancy and Johnathon getting out of Steve's car. Steve and Robin start towards us while Nancy and Johnathon turn to take somthing out of the truck. We all stare at the group in confusion waiting for Steve and Robin to get close enough to question them.

"Hey kids we're going to be holding you captive for the night!" Steve exclaims joyfully while Robin chuckles behind him.

We all shoot the pair an even more confused look waiting for an explanation.

"What dingus here means to say is that us adults all had spare time and wanted to do something, so when Johnathon heard from Joyce that you lot would be up here we decided we could do a big group camping trip on the cliffs. But if you snore to loud we will dunk you in water!" Robin says in a more matter of fact tone but with a bit of Steve's happiness creeping in.

Oh god, what will Neil think when I don't come home tonight he'll think I'm with Lucas doing stuff I don't want to do with men, when are they going to make a portable phone it would come in real handy about now.

"and your parents have all been informed of the change in plans." Robin says shooting me a look, she is to good at reading people, she's the only person who knows that Neil is bad she still doesn't know the full extent but she knows more then anyone else. I always feel comfortable talking with Robin about more personal stuff I just feel like I can confide in each other seeing as we both know the other is a full on lesbian. She was the one who snapped me out of my self hating thoughts a week ago, I still have thoughts but because of her I resist the urge to cut myself again.

"Also we brought sleeping bags and clothes for everyone." Nancy says, her and Johnathon joining the group arms full with bags that they dump on the ground.

"Awesome did you bring marshmallows I can get started on making a campfire!" Dustin says gleefully.

"You know how to make a campfire!" Steve says with a shocked face.

"Well yeah I just need to get something in a sec to start it." He responds giving me a quick glance nobody in the group noticed. I know that he is talking about my glasses instantly he needs them to get a sunray from the lense to start the fire, Dustin is the only one other then my family in the whole of Hawkins that knows I need glasses, I don't have that bad eyesight it's just for semi long distances a lot in class i won't be able to see the board which is why I try to sit in the middle of the room, not at the front so I don't look like a nerd but not at the back so I can sort of make out what's on the board if I squint, I never wear my glasses because I hate them the way they look and feel on my face I despise, their shape is almost the exact same as these red Coca-Cola sunglasses I got at the mall a while ago which is why I got them cause I thought they would be comfortable but they turned out to be far heavier then my sunglasses but they were only in one coupler which was this autumn leaf collage sort of thing and I think they look awful on me. The only reason Dustin knows I have them is because when back to the future came out I went to see it on my own coincidently he went to the same showing and I was wearing my glasses to actually see the film cause I was very excited for it I'll admit. Even though I hate them I take them with me everywhere just in case I really need to see something and I guess they will finally be useful for something.

"By the way guys your tents have already been decided, seeing as there are two couples here we would rather not have you guys pick your own tents." Nancy says seriously which got a groan from Mike which made me feel really gross I couldn't help but winder if him and El were at the  making out stage of their realasionship. Sure Lucas and I were but that was all him I only went along with it for fear that if I left him someone would find out I was gay. I hated myself for it I was literally using him for my own benufit and not even thinking of his emotions, I dig my fingernails into the palms of my hand it was a habit I developed seeing as I was trying to not cut myself again I know its unhealthy but I can't help but feel like I deserve the pain it was almost like a realease for me.