How Could Cupid be so Cruel - Elmax

18. Haven't I Given Enough

TW ABUSE REFERENCE, SELF HARM REFERENCE

The first lunch break hits. I didn't have the first three classes with El so I just need to hope that she was okay during them I don't think any of Stacy's gang had those classes either though.

I start to search for El throughout the cafeteria but to no avail. However I notice Lucas walking over to me I guess now is the time to figure out what side him, Dustin and Will are on. It also means I have to put on the girlfriend personna for a bit.

"Hey Max! I barely saw you over the Spring break were you okay?" He asks. It pains me how much he does seem to care for me.

"Eh yeah I'm fine. There was just some personal stuff I had to deal with." I stammer out.

"Personal stuff" is that what we're calling cutting yourself, crying every night, getting abused and being hopelessly in love with a girl?

Shut up I'm not in the mood to deal with myself right now. I didn't need the reminder of everything that happened over the break, I had cut myself a total of three times once before talking to Robin about doing it, twice after I couldn't help myself it felt like the only release from my internal pain was to cause external ones.

"Alrighty then, I'm here to talk if you want to." He offers kindly.

"Thanks but I'm fine. So I presume Mike told you seeing as he's told everyone in the school by now." I say skipping to the information I need to know.

"Yeah he did, I can't believe that fucking slut would do that to him." Lucas says angrily gritting his teeth.

"What the fuck Lucas, you actually believed him what about Dustin and Will, what do they think?" I ask annoyed. I can't believe he believed him I always thought Lucas was a good person but guess he's just a shallow dick, worst part I still have to go out with him so I have some sort of defense from the gay allegations.

"Dustin hasn't really decided he's wavering at the moment and Will is fully against it he yelled at Mike! I think it was the first time i've ever heard him raise his voice at anyone, especially Mike." Lucas says blandly but sounding a little shocked still about the whole Will thing.

"Look, I am siding with El on this but me and you are still together right?" I need to make sure I don't lose my one alibi.

"Yeah of course, speaking off you wanna come to mine later? My parents are out of town for the night." He says in a very suggestive tone. I know what he wants, I don't want it but I can't tell him that. I was going to try stay with El tonight and make sure she is okay but when Lucas asks Lucas gets.

"I'd love too." I say in my best attempt to sound happy about it all. It feels like I swallowed poison. " I have to go now and check on El, I'll be over later." I say turning on my heel to go find the girl I wish I could be spending tonight with.