his cigarettes | minsung

22

—22—

his gaze trailed after the happy couple.

passersby looked at the two boys with adoration. who wouldn't? they held hands, kissed and acted cutesy with each other, people couldn't help but glance at them and admire.

he didn't.

his eyes were filled with envy as he balled his fists at his sides.

why couldn't it be him instead?

he forced himself to look away and walked down the road in the opposite direction. taking out his phone, he unlocked it and pressed on the only contact who'd give him comfort. the only person who could understand what he was going through.

he held the phone to his ear and listened to it ring a few times before the other picked up.

"hello?"

"hey. are you free right now?"

—

"hey. what's wrong?"

chan was at his desk as the guy, who he didn't know if he could consider a friend or not, entered his room. after he'd gotten the call, he invited the younger over.

"i saw them together."

"you're always so cryptic changbin. who did you see?" chan sighed as he stood up and sat on his bed, pulling changbin next to him.

"jisung and minho", he mumbled before tiredly leaning against chan's shoulder.

"i mean they're basically dating aren't they? we have to accept that they'll spend more time with each other", chan reasoned.

"but it hurts", changbin says as he felt tears prick his eyes. chan smoothed his hand through the other's blue hair.

"i understand that. it's kind of difficult when your friends find someone they spend more time with, but you can't change much about it",  chan said with a pained smile.

he missed spending time with seungmin and jisung every day, he just didn't want to get involved with minho. but he still loved his friends so he wouldn't judge them for hanging around the others, even if it meant he was alone.

although at this point he thought that was kind of hypocritical, considering he spent a lot of time with changbin now.

"friends?"

"yeah?" chan questioned, giving changbin a confused look. "i'm assuming you're friends with minho?" he said with a bit of a laugh.

changbin stared at the other in disbelief. "why are you taking this all so lightly? why do you seem fine with it? why isn't this affecting you?" with each question his voice became louder.

"what do you mean? it is affecting me, but apparently not as much as you", chan said. he couldn't understand changbin at all.

"jisung is dating someone! doesn't that hurt you?"

chan blinked at him. why would it hurt him? was it supposed to hurt him?

"no, i'm happy he found someone. i'm just not too fond of minho, just like you don't like jisung", chan explained.

changbin shrugged chan's hold off as he stood up, stumbling slightly.

"how could you be happy for him if you're in love with him?!"

the room fell completely silent, the only sound was changbin's ragged breath.

"i thought that's what we were bonding over. the fact that they're together."

chan's eyes widened. suddenly it all made sense to him.

the way changbin was opposed to jisung and minho dating, the way he seemed to hate jisung and why he was so hurt all the time. he thought changbin felt that way toward jisung because in his eyes, jisung had taken minho away from him, which chan could relate to. but now it was all falling into place.

changbin was in love with minho.

"... you love minho", chan spoke up. changbin gulped.

"you love jisung!", he argued, pointing an accusing finger at chan.

chan only smiled at him empathetically and changbin realized how wrong he was.

"you're not in love with jisung..?" changbin whispered and chan shook his head.

"i'm so sorry", chan mumbled as he walked to the other, wanting to give him a reassuring hug.

changbin only pushed him away. "i don't need your fucking pity!" he spat at him but chan still wrapped his arms around the younger.

he was shaking.

"i don't need your pity, leave me alone", changbin repeated as he hit chan's chest with his balled fists. over time his punches became weaker and changbin slumped into chan's embrace. chan's shirt was becoming damp from the tears falling from changbin's eyes but he didn't mind.

he hated seeing how hurt changbin was. he wished he could do something to relieve his pain but he stayed silent, letting the other cry in his arms.

"why can't it be me? why does it have to be jisung?" changbin sobbed, finally hugging chan back.

"that's just how life is sometimes. there's nothing we can do about it", chan mumbled into his blue hair.

changbin suddenly pushed him away. "there's something i can do", he said.

chan shot him a worried look. "don't. whatever you're thinking of doing, don't do it. you'll regret it and feel worse", chan replied, trying to calm changbin down.

"shut up chan. i'm doing the right thing. they're not supposed to be together", he said, ignoring chan.

changbin walked to the door and swung it open, but turned around to look at chan one last time.

"there's one person minho listens to."

—

a/n: not proofread!
since it's always either chan or felix who gets hurt in minsung stories because they're in love with minho or jisung , i decided to pick someone else :)

thank you sm for over 2k reads :( <33333

also , i'm going through quite the writer's block rn so if updates take a bit longer before that's why :( sorryyyy but pls bare with me thank you mwah <3