Miracle Marriage

Chapter 7

 Forgotten path

My life with the doctor has begun, it is nothing special. We only see in the night till breakfast in the morning. He doesn't talk much but he surely knows how to tease me. He is not as bad as I thought. He does buy me snacks, candies and books to read. Living as his wife is not as bad as I thought. I began to enjoy my life, gradually. He is the one who taught me how to cook curries. He also makes me take notes of recipes.

And one day; "Sathya, are you washing clothes?" asked Aisha chechi, our neighbour. I became friends with her quickly. She is a very strong woman. She also teaches me various things and helps me.

"Yes, Chechi, What about you? Is Hashim sleeping?" I responded.

"Athe (yes) he slept just now, I was about to make some snacks for the kids when they arrive from school," While I was scrubbing clothes on a washing stone behind our house, she sat on the kitchen step, peeling ripe bananas. Aisha Chechi's first child, a girl, is in first grade, and her second boy has recently begun school. She manages the entire house with her older husband and three children. She is a superwoman. I'll never be like her, maybe in the future. I pondered. Wait, What am I thinking? Why am I considering being a housewife and mother? What happened to the dreams I had? What happened to my willpower? What happened to me? Teardrops fell in the soapy water. It was warm and heartbreaking. I felt excruciating anguish in my chest as if my life had come to a halt. What am I doing? What do I do next? I ran into the house and contacted my Appa. I couldn't stop crying, I lamented like a widow.

"Hello..." My tiny tears grew in size as I heard my Appa's voice on the other end of the phone call.

"Appa"~ I called him miserably

"Sathya, Kanna (baby) what happened-ma? Did something occur? Tell me," he was scared of my voice

"Appa, I can't do this. I want to study. I don't want to be a wife. I want to study-paa," I wept loud through the phone so my father can understand my pain.

"Sathya, don't cry, listen to Appa, please don't cry-ma. Appa, varey angai, (I will come there) I will talk with mappilai. Did he do something to you?" He asked anxiously

"Hmm! illai (no) he is good to me but Appa, I feel like I am becoming like every other girl in our village. You didn't raise us like them, you taught us to dream, I don't want to be like this. I want to study Appa. Please talk to him," I said breathing heavily and wiping my tears

"Seri-ma, (Yes-dear) I will talk with him, don't cry, don't cry ok. I will ask him," his words tenderly touched my broken heart. I was at ease. I took a short nap before returning to work. At noon, I got a call from my mother-in-law.

"Sathya, why did you call your Appa and scream like that-ma? He called me worried. Do not repeat such behaviour. Is Bala being kind to you or not? Why do you want to study? You have the kind of life that other women fantasise about. And I found you in the village because I'm looking for someone to look after my son and give birth to his children. So forget about studying and concentrate on your responsibilities. You are now a member of my family, You are my son's wife and focus on giving me a grandchild." I couldn't say anything back to her. I simply cried.

My mother-in-law criticized me as though everything was my fault. What did I do wrong? Is it forbidden for me to complain? Is it prohibited for me to dream? Is it unlawful for me to contact my family? Even after marriage, I'm still their daughter, right? Why is it so difficult solely for me? I sobbed as I slid onto the bed. Like a caged bird, I felt lonely. My wings were shackled to me. I was enraged at my sister and blamed her for my miserable life. My pillow was damp and warm from my tears, and my eyes were dry and weak. I hate everything now. My life, my parents, my sister, my husband, everyone, in this world. I despise everything.

I saw a different look on his face when he returned home from work in the evening. I got the impression he was upset with me. I became too afraid to speak with him. While drinking tea, showering, working, and watching the news, he was surrounded by an ominous aura that kept me at a slight distance from him. He didn't say anything to me the entire time. After dinner, I cleaned the dishes and went to the room. Normally, he would read a book on the bed while waiting for me, but now he is just sitting there. I set the glass and water jug on the table.

"Sathya, your father called me today," his words were rough and stiff. I stood my head down, gulping. "Did you call him?" he asked again. I nodded, clutching onto my skirt, frightened. "OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND ANSWER ME," I backed up hearing his loud scary voice. My tears started flowing down my cheeks.

"Yes"~ I said crying. He came close, right in front of me as I moved back and stopped by the wall.

"Who am I to you? he questioned.

"Hus-Husband," I answered stuttering.

"Husband, so you know, I am now more important than your father in your life. Did you ever try to tell me about your dream or ambition? Is your father or my mother who is supposed to be telling me about my wife's desires? Why didn't you tell me? I am the one who needs to know it first. I am the one who married you," he stated.

"I am sorry, I - I am sorry," I couldn't say anything but ask forgiveness. I sat on the floor, sobbing loudly, "I am sorry, I wanted to study, I wanted to be a doctor just like you. I was preparing for my exams. But because of Akka, I was forced to marry you. I never wanted to marry you. I desired to study more. I hate this. I hate everything. I hate my Akka. I hate you, why it has to be me? Why did you agree to marry me? You stole my life, you stole my dreams, what am I supposed to do now?" I lost my mind as I screamed closing my ears and eyes. I heard footsteps exiting the room. He wasn't there when I opened my eyes. I don't want to move. I cried all night. He never returned to the room. I slept on the floor.

As I opened my eyes in the morning. I was sleeping on the bed. My gaze was blurry. He was still not present. I looked at the time; it was already 9 a.m. I dashed into the kitchen, where I saw him pouring coffee into two glasses. I was taken aback. I know he's the one who carried me to bed and tucked me in. Is he still upset with me? I wanted to apologise.

"Sathya, there are 3 or 4 seats vacant for MBBS in Kerala University, medical college. They are conducting one more exam in 15 days. I will apply for you. If you get in, I will help you to pursue your dream and become a doctor and If you don't I won't help you. You can ask your father also if you wish, you can return to your home," he said without his usual pleasant grin and tone.

I felt trapped. I'm stumped for words. I'd like to apologise for yesterday. I didn't mean it. I was angry, I never wished to say those harsh words. I don't want to leave him. What will happen to my parents if he sends me back? They already live in humiliation as a result of my sister, and I don't want to add to that. For that, I'll need to pass this exam. "Yes, I will take the exam," I said with my all might.

"Good, there are books on my shelf, I used for my entrance, so start studying and remember my words," he walked away, sounding as if this was a life-or-death issue.

When he left, I returned to the room and saw all the books he had chosen and arranged on the table for me. I closed my eyes and tried to relax. I've determined to win. I will prove to everyone that girls can dream and conquer. I'll make him smile and say, "Sathya, I am proud of you and I am sorry I made you cry. I like you,"