Chapter 22

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 The First Girl

In the dawn, I was reclining inside his arms, under one blanket, stripped. I felt so remorseful but so pleased. I glanced at his sleeping face, the memories of last night came in with a load of blush.

"Are you thinking about last night?" he asked

"Doctor, you were awake?" I questioned surprised

"Just now, seeing your blushing face made me recall yesterday," he said.

"Don't," I closed my face.

"Sathya, do you feel disgusting or scared after that? Did you enjoy it?" he questioned

"Hmm..." I nodded. "It was painful, to be honest, but I loved it,"

"I am sorry, I loved it more than you. You are the most precious person in my life. My dearest wife,"

I smiled and buried my face in his chest again, and then his words about me came to my mind; "You are so cute and it made me laugh thinking my wife is so innocent. You are the most special girl I met in my entire life. My beloved little wife." I am the most precious, I pondered. But what about the first girl he mentioned? Suddenly I thought about her. Why am I thinking about her now? I raised my head and peeked at his face. He gave me a peck on my forehead.

"What is it?"

"Doctor, you said I am the special and precious person in your life, so I wanted to ask you about the first girl you mentioned. I don't know why I can't wipe that from my head and it's killing me. I feel so jealous, I hate myself for that," I spoke without facing him. Again he giggled.

"I am happy that you are jealous, Mrs Balakrishna, but please don't be jealous of Sathya Sundarmani, at least she is your former self," he then laughed. I was baffled and it took seconds for me to understand his words.

"Wait! WHAT?" I was flabbergasted. I am the first girl?

My mind was occupied with thoughts about his words throughout the morning, while bathing, having breakfast, and getting dressed for Durga's marriage, I couldn't take those words out of me. I was desperate for answers and it started eating me like a chronic disease.

Suddenly Durga hugged me, "Di, you passed the medical entrance exam. I am so happy. I knew you could do it. I am so proud of you," she said in her bright red and golden podavai (Wedding saari) adorned as a proper south Indian bride. I hugged her crying, "Thank you for believing in me," I was sitting in her room, wearing a beautiful yellow saari and ornaments my Amma picked and a head full of jasmine flowers, which I hate, also my Amma forced me to wear.

"Sathya, come and help me put the anklet, Di. Di, are you even listening to me?" yelled Durga

"Ah! I am thinking di," I replied

"What? how to throw a bomb?"

"Huh! Stop joking, I am going insane here,"

"Seri-ma,(ok-dear) just tell me what is it?"

"Well," I explained everything he said to her. "That's what happened, I don't know why he is not telling me anything, I want to know and it's bothering me," I spoke.

"Huh! Did you guys do it yesterday?" she ignored my worries and was totally focused on the part I said he touched me for the first time.

"That's not important here,"

"What? It's damn important, di. You two had sex for the first time. Oh my god, my Sathya has all grown up. How did it feel?" she excitedly surrounded me with her arrows of questions.

"Durga, Ayyo! It was not exactly sex... sex. He didn't go all the way, you know, all the way in," I answered embarrassed.

"Huh! What-di? you are still at the foreplay level? grow up!" she was disappointed in me like a 100-year-old expert.

"Can you just leave that and focus on the critical issue I told you?"

"About what he said, maybe he liked you more than your sister from the first day, but I can't believe you are his first girl. Come on, how old is he? 30, 32, how can he don't have any love affair, not even one? However, if he is telling the truth, shouldn't you be happy? you are his first and second, probably the last girl in his life. Oh! That can change if your child is a girl. Fathers love their daughters more than their wives, I heard. I and Mama are planning to have at least three children, two boys and one girl," Durga began talking as if we were discussing her dream life. But what she suggested is correct, I should be happy. Of course, I am happy. I am blissful now because I am the only one in his but I want to know how and why.

The ceremony began on schedule at the regional temple. I stood by her side and held her hand, just as she had done for me during my marriage. It was emotional. I had the melancholy feeling that I was losing something inside of me, maybe my innermost self. We were friends since infancy; she was three months older than me, and we played and went to school together. We experienced joy and suffering together. I am her best friend, and she was there for me anytime I needed her. She was more than just a friend; she was like my twin. I had hazy eyes from crying during the entire wedding. The doctor would grasp my hand and smile every time I wipe my eyes. I can feel his love gushing out only for me. Now I know why everyone says I'm lucky. I am every woman's fantasy. A life every woman desire and every woman deserves.

"Durga, I wish you a happy married life and a life you dreamed of and deserved. I don't know what to say more, I just wish we can see again and talk and play together. I will miss you-di," I said as I embraced her before she went with her Mama. She didn't say much, just nodded and vanished from my eyes shortly. I went back to my room unable to stop my tears. I felt his hands wrapping me like yesterday from behind. His gentle face rubbed with mine and his lips kissed my teary cheek. "Why are you crying? We can meet her again, she is not going to another country,"

"I know, but I feel so sad."

"I understand, come here," he sat on the bed, holding me in his arms. I sat on his knee, embracing and weeping. He engulfed me in loving lips and drew me closer to him without hesitation. I adore him, which is why I need to hear from him about everything since the time he fell in love with me. I raised my head and faced him.

"I know what you are going to ask me, and I am ready to tell you everything. Are you ready to hear?" he asked

"Yes, please," I said with a smile.

"My dear wife, you are the first person to make my heart beat faster and desire something so badly, knowing it's impossible for me to reach it," he started telling me his story. I began to hear the story through his eyes.

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