Miracle Marriage

Chapter 38

Create your life

"Do you hear something?"

"Not yet, but wait,"

"Huh! Here... I can feel some movements," smiling widely doctor said, he was putting ointment on my balloon belly. He watches keenly every day to catch some movement in his new Sony video recorder camera. Today he got one, I saw the footage, it's really amazing. I am glad someone made these kinds of gadgets so we can keep special memories like this. Not only that, but he also bought an LG fridge, a VCR, a mixer and a new model computer. Also a lot of toys for Chellam. He was saving up money a lot over the past years, I guess he finally intended to use all that. He is also looking for a better land plot for us to buy. I understand now, he began to imagine the future with children.

"Sathya, we should start a money savings policy under Chellam's name," he said, "It will be helpful for their higher studies or marriage," he added. Right now, he appeared more like my Appa. I smiled as I held his face in my palms, "Let's do all that, now, can you hug me?"

"Of course, I can," he embraced me, very gently, warm and sweet as always.

Today is my exam, and I got ready early, prayed well and ate satisfyingly. He dropped in the campus advising me how to write the exam all the way. I feel nostalgic, I recall the first day I came to this campus along with the doctor for my first exam. I feel exactly the same. I can't believe it's already almost five years. The memories I made with my friends, my classmates, and my teachers and the lessons I learnt from here are now in the past. Time does not work reverse so we must accept this, and go forward welcoming all it taught us. Good and bad, right and wrong everything I experienced on this campus flashes through my eyes. I have grown up. I am not that little girl anymore. That day I wrote my future here, and it has taken me so far, even far as I imagined. Life, have ever assumed I will travel this path? never, but do regret? never. As the famous novel prize winner in literature, George Bernard Shaw once said; "Life isn't about finding yourself, life is about creating yourself." And I created my life, instead of finding it, I created this. I am living this life because I wanted to. I may have ended up doctor accidentally but in the end, I chose to stay, I always thought I don't have enough options, but I had and yet I chose this life, with him, to complete my dream. I am the one responsible for my life because I create this, destiny, fate or anything, ultimately I also wished for this.

I wrote the exam at ease, it was tough but overall I enjoyed it. The examiners were kind to me. I was allowed to have a water bottle and bathroom breaks. They even allowed me to walk a little in the middle of the exam. I guess doctors are really strict when it comes to their work. Jessy and Hari were also in my exam hall but in the front while I was in the back. After the theory exam, we will have the final practical viva soon. Our seniors did leave us some tips and notes, I hope for the best. However doctor is very strict, he literally conducts viva at home every day, so I will be fine.

"How was the exam-ma?" asked my Amma

"Nalla elutiniya-ma?" (did you write well-dear?) my mother-in-law questioned.

"It was not hard or simple, I think I wrote well," I answered. I then remembered what the doctor said earlier; "Sathya, if you think you wrote well then it was not tough, but if you feel you were not able to give everything, it was a little tough, that's not the problem here right? I can read from your face that you felt satisfied after the exam," he smiled. "Yes, that's true doctor, I am happy," I responded.

Then days came and by, and tomorrow is my practical. He came home gloomy, did something happen in the hospital? I pondered.

"Doctor, you look down, what happened?" I inquired

"No, it's something I didn't want to do, but I guess I have no other option. I will not be able to come with you tomorrow, I asked Jessy to pick you up," he said depressed. His being with me on my weak days was my source of confidence and power, but I need to be strong myself.

"Doctor, it's ok, I will be fine. I can go myself. You do your work," now what he needs is my encouragement. The next day, the doctor left early, and he had some kind of meeting. When Jessy came to pick me up in her car, Appa wanted to come with me but my Amma didn't allow it saying he will disturb my concentration. Appa is a crybaby sometimes.

"Our professors won't help us during the Viva, I heard, the doctors from outside the college are brutal," she said nervously making me shiver. I want the doctor to be with me, he will be holding my hand now all the way to the college, giving me tips and courage. I miss him. No, I can't slack off, I need to be strong. On the way I and Jessy discussed everything we learnt, she was mad at her father because he didn't tell her anything about the Viva examiners. When we reach the campus Hari was waiting for us, he said many seniors were talking about some specific areas we need to be focused so we read through it carefully until our name was called.

Jessy and Hari were in another room while I went into another one. I greeted the two examiners and I was astounded by seeing Dr Balakrishna Chandrasekhar as my interviewer. He smiled at me, so this was why he acted all gloomy yesterday. He couldn't tell me since I am also a candidate. I sat down without showing any special emotions on my face. The other one was a lady doctor.

"Sathya Balakrishna," she read my name and glanced at the doctor. He sighed; "this is why I refused at first," he said with a side-eye. I have to hold it in, I can't laugh. The lady doctor then faced me; "Hello Sathya, I am Dr Jaya Gopi, a colleague of Dr Bala and an alumnus of this college, shall we start?" she smiled.

"Yes, Ma'am," I answered confidently.

"And it will be appropriate if Dr Bala doesn't ask any questions on this interview," she stated to the doctor.

"Ok," he agreed. My heart is beating and I am nervous. I gazed at the doctor, why are you here? I am extra nervous because of you, I pondered. As if he understood my thoughts, he grinned; "Don't mind me, focus only on Dr Jaya and all the best, Sathya." My heart calmed, I just needed to hear those words. The practicals began, and she asked me some questions which I answered properly. There were organs, and tools identifying, some rare diseases and conditions. As for the final questions she smiled at me, satisfied.

"This is off the syllabus, Sathya, I can see you are expecting a baby soon. I have gone through this period in my life it's the happiest and hardest. What I want to ask is, what do you prefer the most being a mother or being a doctor, because both need a lot of care, attention and responsibilities?" I was stunned for a second, how do I answer this question? What should I say? I can't eye doctor, I need to find the answer to this question myself.