Chapter 16

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A Married Woman

Our journey halted in front of a traditional big house with a few people sitting outside on the veranda waiting for our arrival. Amma's voice was audible as soon as I got out of the car.

"Oru nimsham nillumma," (wait a minute, dear) my mother-in-law, came out with an arati thattu (plates used for arati). Come to think of this is my first time coming to his house, so I have to complete my vadhu griha pravesham (a ritual after marriage; first entry to the husband's house by wife). She moved the arati around us and adorned our foreheads with sindhoor. It's customary for me to enter the home with my right leg first. He followed me and showed me his room. It was a big, but rather plain, room. There were a few bookshelves, but almost empty; I assume he brought all the books with him to Kerala. The bed was big and the bathroom, traditional. Before doing anything, Amma pushed us to take a bath and dine.

"Sathya, bath here. I will go to the other bathroom. If you want to take a nap, you can do it, ok," he instructed.

"Yes," I replied. Despite being exhausted, I will not be going to sleep right now. I noticed that obnoxious aunty from the day I married. I don't want to be the source of her annoyance. I want to show her that I am not a mistake in doctor's life. Following a satisfying bath, I moved to the kitchen and sat next to my mother-in-law.

"What is it ma, do you want something?" she asked me very tenderly.

"It's nothing, Amma. Is there anything you need, I will help," I volunteered.

"Oh, you don't have to do anything ma, just go and take care of your husband and get ready to taste my dishes," she enthusiastically gave me two glasses of coffee.

"Let her help us, Janaki. She wants to help, let's see how much she learned," said that rude aunty again, while chopping potato. I stared at her irritated.

"Stop it, Valli, she is young, don't bully her. She will learn everything eventually," replied Amma.

"Pinne (then) We married when we were barely 16 years old. We received censure from both of our mamiyars (mothers-in-law). Isn't she 18? I still can't believe she pursued Bala to make her study. Married girls concentrate on their spouses and starting a family. Don't be selfish. People can change, therefore we should only assume responsibility for obligations we can complete," she said harshly. However, I don't want to cry in her presence. I turned to face Amma, who was as astounded by her sister's remarks.

"Sathya, just go and give this coffee to Bala," she said, I left the kitchen and made my way back to his room. As I entered, he was facing me while drying his hair. I, nevertheless, was not in the mood to converse with him. My heart was bleeding. I was furious and depressed. I set the coffee on the table.

"What happened, Sathya?" as if he read my mind, he asked

"Nothing, your coffee," I answered annoyed.

"Did Amma say something? or any of my relatives?" he asked again.

"It's nothing, doctor," I replied really irritated.

"So, are you not going to answer my question? Sathya, if something happened, please tell me. I can help you," he said in a calm voice.

"Doctor! Please, I want to be alone. I am fine." I responded somewhat loudly. He stomped out. I was furious. That aunty's notion that women are created just to be married and have children infuriated me. Isn't she a woman? So, how can she say that? She will see how I manage my family while advancing my career. I will alter her mind. I will do it. Warm tears sprang from my eyes and cascaded down to the ground like they belonged there. My heart and body were not ready to leave the bed, so I closed my eyes for a few minutes. It was pitch black all around me when I awoke. I turned on the light and left the room. Silence prevailed. The entire home was silent. I was terrified and hurriedly went out. I saw Amma and Nandhini Akka who is Selvan-anna's wife with kids sitting on the veranda.

"Sorry Amma, I fall asleep," I said.

"Oh! Did you wake up? Pasikithama?" (are you hungry?)

"No, Amma, I am fine. But where is everyone? he is also not here?"

"Bala-anna and Mama went out for something and others returned to their homes." Nandhini Akka gave me a very amused smile. Amma did not respond. They seemed to be hiding something from me. Amma rushed into the kitchen, claiming she'd bring me some snacks.

"Nandhini-Akka, what happened here? I feel I am missing something very crucial. Did something happen while I fell asleep?" I questioned.

"Well, Bala-Anna was a little angry, he came to the kitchen and asked Amma what happened with you. She didn't say anything. But I explained. Then..." She started explaining. I was stunned to hear that. Did he really do that? I asked myself. I can't believe he said those words to them. I can't believe he stood up for me. I am so happy.

"It was like roaring. He was really mad. I also don't like Valli athai (aunt), she is a little rude to everyone. Bala Anna said, she's my wife, and she may do anything she wants. I didn't marry her to turn her into a servant in my home. She, too, has desires and goals, and as a husband, I will always support her wants. Do not compare me to your husband or her to yourself. We are not similar. Oh My God, Sathya, I got goosebumps. It was like a cool cinema hero's dialogue. Valli athai, of course, talked back but soon she left. It was so good to watch," Nandhini Akka spoke excitedly like a fangirl explaining her favourite scene.

Amma joined us, she brought some snacks and orange juice. I can feel her sorrow, maybe she is embarrassed about her son's behaviour toward her sister. Should I ask for forgiveness? I asked myself

"Ma, Sathya, I need to apologise on behave of my sister Valli. She was being rude to you." she took my hand and spoke slowly.

"No, Amma, don't apologise. I understand. I was also a little irritated and sad because of her comments. But I am totally fine. I am the one who should apologise for doctor's behaviour," I responded.

"I'm not blaming either of you. But for my sister, I've been watching her for decades. Her life was filled with hardship. Marriage at the age of 16 to a man who is 18 years her senior, giving birth to children whilst you're still young and forced to give up on goals and live a life as a housewife. That is how she lived. Her life was unpleasant since her spouse was an alcoholic. She was raising a child and working in other people's homes when she was her age. She grew tough and fearless. She spoke incoherently out of dread. She was the only person to object to your union with Bala, claiming that you are still a student and young. She really likes you, but she doesn't want you to end up like her, even if she is aware that Bala is not at all like her husband. She just lost the ability to show her affection. Don't be too harsh on her-ma." Amma said anguished. I felt immense pain and guilt in my gut, It ached.

I need to apologise to her, I thought. Everyone's attention was pulled to the front by the sound of the car. It was him and Selvan-Anna. I need to speak with him.

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