Chapter 10

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Write my Future

I put on my new churidar that he purchased yesterday and tied my hair up in a ponytail, despite the fact that I don't have much hair. My heart continues to pound. There will undoubtedly be more applicants trying to get accepted into this university. They're all as enthusiastic and talented as I am, if not more. But I can't let them get ahead of me this time. No one can beat me. I closed my eyes and exhaled deeply. He entered the room with a shirt and pants, all set to leave.

"Sathya, there are just 5 open seats, and there are more than 30 candidates. If you want to study there, you must score more than 200 and secure at least the fifth seat," he advised on the way.

"At least the fifth seat? I'm scared, Doctor."

"There is no need to be afraid; simply read the questions properly and answer them. There is no negative marking, so leave the ones you don't know, remain calm and keep your brain fresh,"

"Doctor, nan onnu kekalama?" (May I ask you a question?)

"Ennai? (what?), tell me,"

"You won't take me back to my house if I fail the exam, right? I will study hard and win the next one," I said, keeping my gaze on him, hoping for a positive response.

He chuckled softly and approached me. "My dear wife, I married you, and I will not toss you away like a cat for failing an exam. I also told you to ignore what I said. Don't worry about it; I won't do anything as you fear. There will be many entrance exams next year, so you can study and take as many as you like," he gently caressed my hair and smiled.

"huh! ok," now, I feel a lot better. I intend to do well on this exam to reach the top five spots. I was unwavering. While driving to the university, my heart began to pound like it was in an iron factory, and I became aware of a crowd of people gathered in front of the exam centre. My resolve began to waver a little. I don't want to leave the car. I gasped as I saw other pupils and their parents conversing and studying through the car window like a scaredy-cat.

"Don't worry, Sathya, I have faith in you, you can do it. You said you're your Appa's singakutti, didn't you?" His palms brushed against mine as he grinned. He's not making fun of me; instead, he's encouraging me. As his warm touch shared heat with mine, my chilly fingers thawed along with my terrified heart. I sensed greater comfort and genuineness in his words and gleaming eyes. I gently smiled as I stepped out of the car.

"Doctor, will you stay here till my exam is finished?" I asked nervously, squeezing his hand.

"Aama-ma (yes, dear), I'll be waiting for you," he said while firmly holding my hand.

"Ok," I took a deep breath. Now that I think about it, he's quite a bit taller than me, and I only reach his shoulder. He seems masculine and mature, whilst I appear childlike. People might think we are a father and daughter or even a brother and sister. I really hope not. I followed the doctor down the hallway in search of my exam room.

"Doctor... Doctor Bala, sir," we heard someone calling his name behind us. It was a girl. She was stunning and stylish. She appeared more Western due to her stunning pink top and denim trousers. While he smiled at her, I wondered who she was.

"Oh, Jessy! You've grown so much that I barely recognise you," he remarked. He knows her, said my heart with a little pain.

"I returned last Friday, sir. Papa instructed me to take the exam here. He probably wants me to attend the same university as he did. But, Sir, what brings you here? Don't tell me you are also here to take the exam, then I should quit right now," she said in a humorous yet refined tone. Both of them laughed as I stood still, unable to fully understand the language.

"Don't worry, I'm not, but she is," he said, glancing at me. I gave her a kind grin.

"Sir, I thought you didn't have any siblings. Is she your relative?" Jessy inquired

"No, she is," he hesitated and tightened his grip on my palm, "my wife, Jessy, meet Sathya, my wife," I'm not sure what I felt at that moment, but I was bashful and content at the same time. He said it twice, I pondered.

"Hello," I gently greeted.

"Hello," Jessy was perplexed. Silence.

"Is your father here?" the silence was broken by his question to Jessy.

"Yes, he is in his office," she was still in shock, staring right at my face. Uncomfortable. We arrived at my exam room. Jessy's seat was also in my hall. We sat on opposite benches.

"Sathya, don't be afraid, you can do it," once again he wrapped his palm around mine and smiled. "I will wait for you outside, do it well, I know you will," he then walked out of the class. "All the best, Jessy," he said to Jessy before leaving the hall and a grin for me as well.

I took out my hall ticket, a blue pen, a pencil and an eraser. Then Jessy faced me with a sweet smile.

"What is your age?" she asked me, curiously like a toddler.

"huh! I am 18," I replied, shyly.

"You are the same age as me! I was astounded to find that Bala sir had married someone my age. He was my Papa's student and my tutor when I was in school. My father says; Bala is the brightest and humblest student I ever had, I am so proud of him." She remarked, imitating her father. That made me laugh.

"Anyway, my name is Jessy Kurian, and let's become friends," she extended her hand for a handshake. I took it. I made a friend other than the doctor and Aisha chechi. I am so proud.

"Sathya Sunda--- huh! Sathya Balakrishna," I said. I constantly forget that my name changed after marrying him, something I didn't want, but our families pushed him to do. I suppose it's a matter of prestige. We chatted a lot. She is friendly and humble. She does remind me of Durga. Our quick talk taught me a lot about her.

Jessy Kurian is the youngest child of Dr Kurian Varkey, a prominent professor of anatomy at this college. Originally from Kottayam, they moved here when her father started working as a professor. My husband was a student in his first batch. That is how Jessy met the doctor. He was formerly her tutor. After that, she relocated to Delhi with her older brother to do her pre-degree. I felt comfortable talking to her.

The test then commenced. As I explored the exam question paper, I prayed to all the gods I was familiar with. I didn't know the answers to some of the questions, but most of them were. I pulled out my pencil and firmly marked the ones I was familiar with. I could hear his sweet speech in my head. I can't let him down. I don't want to live a traditional housewife's life. If I win, I could accomplish my ambition. I have to win this. I picked up my pen and began to write, "My future."

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