Choices

My First Choice

Kam sat on the edge of the cliff staring blankly at the sunrise. He was blind to the beauty that was on display in front of him. The pain was too great to appreciate his favourite view ever since he was a child. His heart was breaking into pieces, and he has no idea what to do.

In his mind, it came clear as an HD movie running in 3-D. Phi Tam saying 'Siri and I are now dating' while putting his arm around her. Beautiful Siri, smart Siri.. damn Siri. Kam cursed himself over and over again for being blind. He has been stupid all his life, but he has never felt even more stupid than falling for someone who will never be his. He cursed himself again and again as tears continued to flow from his eyes.

He never intended to.

He did not even notice it until it was too late, I guess that says so much for being stupid right?

Both their families were close. The Kunnawit and Supasun-Tay families have been around each other ever since he could remember. Phi Tam and Phi Dao were born in the same year and 3 years older than he was. Ever since he could remember, Phi Tam has always been a permanent fixture inside their home. When he was born, he became the baby of both families. He was a tag-along all the time. Eventually, when P'Dao outgrew her tomboy stage, her association with Phi Tam had lessened and she sought her own group of friends. Kam and Phi Tam became inseparable. Thick as thieves as they say. Where the other was you would find one there too.

They grew up together, went to the same school, met the same friends and had been that since grade school. P'Pop, P'Tam, Phi Sak and his sister P'Dao were classmates and became friends, despite being younger than them, Kam hanged out with them. He loved it. He was with his most favourite person in the entire world outside of his family. He had always said that since he was young. Phi Tam is most favourite person in the world.

He wiped his tears; he cannot be as weak as this. Both P'Siri and Phi Tam are his friends, he sighed. He has to be strong to accept it, but looking at clear blue sky, he asked, 'So, how do I do this?'

The sun was rising in the day as the day progresses; he is still without an answer. He was now about to graduate from high school in a few days. He leaned back to lie on the grass when his phone made a notification sound. An email it seems.

He checked it out and saw that it was a series of replies from the schools that he has applied for college. He scanned the list of schools, his eyes widened when he saw the logo of Oxford University. Holy shit! He immediately opened it and saw that it was an acceptance letter for him to study there. 'OMG! Is this your answer to me?' He looked at the sky. 'Maybe you are right'. He looked at the letter again and murmured his thanks. He stayed there for a bit more before rising up, making the most difficult decision in his life, a choice that will either make or break him.

He walked back from the cliff down the hill to go home. He has been walking these hills all his life. He loved doing it. He breathes in and then sighed. He knows it will be a struggle to convince his parents especially his Khun Por to let him go but of course, he will seek the help of his Khun Mae and his P'Dao. Once more he wondered what Phi Tam's reaction will be. After all, he was very vocal in saying that Kam should study in Chulalangkorn University; it was where they were all studying after all. Kam never even told him that he had also applied to international schools; he wasn't sure how he would take it.

He waved to the servant that opened the door for him in acknowledgement and thanks. He then proceeded to the dining room; he knows that his parents and his sister are already having breakfast by this time. After all, his parents always made sure that they at least have 2 meals a day together as tradition.