Choices

Brother vs Brother

Tam was fuming when he left the Supasun-Tays. He never felt so stupid and did not realize that there was another reason for Kam accepting the offer at Oxford. For five years, Dao kept the truth from him. Him! He cannot wrap his head around the fact that Kam had fallen in love with another boy in high school. He was walking so fast he didn't realize that direction he took was not for their house but to the tree house.

He trudged on, knowing that in this state he cannot go home, he was not one to be able to lie to his parents. His steps were so big that he reached the tree house within a few minutes. He grabbed the wooden steps and climbed up pushing the wooden entrance open. He sat by the table and placed his laptop and his bag on it. He sighed and then sighed again. He didn't know what he was to do with the information that he found out. He was floored finding out the reason why Kam moved away and stayed away for five years.

'Fucking hell!' He cursed himself, calling him all kinds of stupid for not realizing. Looking back, he recalled that during the last year of high school Kam started to stay with them less and less, he thought it was just because of his school work. And he remembered that during the last few months prior to his graduation, Kam actually stopped spending time with them. He sat by the window and looked at the sky without really seeing its beauty. His mind was in turmoil. 'Kam, kam.' He whispered, 'how can you not tell phi what was going on with you?'

He realized it was his fault; he was too preoccupied with his classes and Siri. He barely had time to ask how he was doing. He recalled how Dao had cried, she must have been so distraught, and with him telling her she was not a good sister certainly didn't help at all. He decided he needed another talk with Dao. He was not really angry at her, upset yes but never angry, Dao over the years has shown how much she loves Kam and he realized that if they were keeping this from their parents that is another burden for her too.

He turned and looked around the tree house; this was their safe place, their happy place. The best memories were here. He breathed a sigh once more, his heart so heavy right now, knowing that Kam had been burdened with this and had to leave them. He understood his reason but at the same he felt slighted and hurt because Kam obviously didn't trust him enough to tell him the truth.

He knew that leaving was Kam's choice, but why for the life of him, wasn't he told anything at all. This was what he didn't understand. Why was he kept in the dark? He now yearns to know the truth but how? He promised Dao he would wait until Kam is ready to tell him everything. He blew air through his mouth trying to release the tension that he feels at that moment. His confusion on the situation only worsened when he found out the truth. He is trying to temper himself, because at this moment, the only thing he wanted was for Kam to tell him the truth. He needed to know everything.

He spent another hour at the tree house in contemplation. He was trying to work but ended up spacing out most of the time. He was literally unproductive. It was nearing the end of another hour when he heard footsteps coming to the tree house. He craned his neck and saw Sak approaching the steps. He waved at Sak and signalled that he just come up.

Sak looked at Tam who was sitting cross-legged with his laptop and staring out the window. 'You okay?' Sak asked.

Tam pinched his nose and sighed. 'No, I am not okay.'

Sak nodded and sat down on Kam's favourite spot the bean bag. 'You need to talk?'

Tam shook his head, and Sak just sat down silently. He figured that Tam was not ready to talk yet. He was obviously trying to calm himself down with the way he was sighing over and over again.