I didn't sleep a wink last night. My mind would carry between Daryl and Kaleb, both bringing out the tears I tried to hold in. By the time morning arrived and the first people started to move about I walked out, feeling just as shitty as i did the day before.
"You alright?" T asked.
"Why wouldn't i be?" I asked.
"You've been crying."
"No I haven't," I lied.
"Your eyes are red."
"Its complicated."
Carol refused to let me cook so I just sat back and waited for the eggs to be finished in complete silence. She was handing out plates just as Daryl joined us. "Thanks for cooking Carol but I think I just lost my appitie," I spat, my eyes refusing to look at Daryl, before walkign away from them.
On my way towards the field I ran into someone. "Sorry," I apologized.
Jimmy picked up the box and smiled. "It's fine,'' he said and looked down at me. "Have you been crying again?"
"Is it a problem? To cry?"
"No, its just rare for you, even though I haven't known you long at all I can't picrture you a crier."
"The man I love is pushing me away, I'm sad about it."
He looked over to where Daryl sat and my eyes followed him. Daryl was staring at the two of us, his eyes waiting to see what we were going to do.
"Him?"
I nodded. "He's differnet, and I like that but he's been pushing me away for a while now."
"Have you thought that maybe your getting to caught up in it all? Maybe there's really nothing there."
"Maybe," I pondered.
"Good luck,'' he said.
"Good luck with what?"
He didn't reply. "We need ta talk."
Dammit, now I knew why he said good luck. "No, I don't wanna talk to you."
"Tough shit."
"You yelled at me Daryl, did you forget that, you balled your fists ready to hit me."
"I would've never laid a hand on you like that and you know it."
"Do I, do I really know what you would and wouldn't do? I haven't known ya for more than a couple months and last night proved I really don't know you in anyway," I said, feeling the tears come to my eyes again.
"If you wouldn't have made such a big deal outta my damn scars maybe i wouldn't have flipped out on ya."
"That's not the point, you could've said something in a nicer way."
He went to touch me but I stopped him. "Don't touch me," I whispered.
"Please, just give me another chance to explain."
"I'm sorry but I'm done," I said.
"Done with what?"
"Whatever this is," I said while motioning between us.
When he just stared at me I turned around and rushed to find someone.
"Shane."
He turned from the car and smirked at me. "Yeah little darlin'?"
"Are you still thinking about leaving?"
"Why?" he asked, setting his bag onto the ground.
I rubbed my arms. " 'cause I'm going too."
"Are you crazy?"
"No, I ain't got nothin' here anymore Shane, my brother's gone," I said. "Daryl's gone," I whispered.
"I ain't leavin', I'm staying here so I can-" he stopped.
"So you cna keep being rejected by Lori? Yeah, such a plan."
"If you go your gonna get yourself killed."
"I'll take that chance."
"Your crazy," he said.
"Yeah, I am."
He sighed and looked at me. "I can't keep this to myself, I'm gonna tell Rick, maybe he'll convvine you."
"Are you insane?!" Rick shouted at me.
"Why are you yelling at me?" I asked.
"You can't seriously be thinking about going out there can you?"
"Yeah, I am."
"Why? You won't be safe."
"I ain't got nothin' to live for out here, my brother is gone and I don't feel right here."
Rick rubbed his face roughly. "Let me at least give you a good weeks worth of food and a gun."
"A gun? Rick," I said.
"She can't take some of our last guns," Shane said.
"It will be used for emergencies."
"Okay, thank you and please, keep this to yourself."
Rick just looked at me before walking back into the farmhouse, slamming the screendoor loudly behind him.
"I think your making a mistake," Shane said.
"Maybe I am, but I don't care." TBC
AN: Who out there thinks that Aly will actually leave? Will she stay or go?
