The Girl With Lips Of An Angel

It's About Fucking Time

Kaitlyn

"That was a beautiful song, Kaitlyn," Zayn says and I smile brightly.

"Are you sure? Do you think it has enough heart? Do you think he'll like it?" I ask quickly and he chuckles.

"I'm going to answer yes to all those questions. You need to stop doubting and have more faith in your writing. Negativity is definitely not your best attribute," He tells me and I nod, agreeing.

"Yeah, no, you're right. God, I am a negative person," I concede with a chuckle.

Zayn shakes his head fondly, wraps his arms around my shoulders and kisses the top of my head. He lingers for a moment and then I feel wetness on top of my head. Zayn lifts his head back up and I see him dash his tears away. I hastily wrap my arms around his neck. He rests his face in the crook of my neck as sobs rack through his body. I just sit here and comfort him, letting him cry away the pain. This whole Perrie situation has really affected him. I mean, of course it would. Finding your fiancé in that sort of situation would be devastating. She hasn't tried to call him, nor has she returned his million calls that he's left.

After a few moments, he stops crying and wipes away his tears and softly apologises. He then gets up, leaving yet another peck on top of my head before slowly and quietly walking out of the room.

Moments like this really make me emotional, which then make me think about things in my life that reduced me to tears. Like the all this stuff with Lucas. He really was a selfish asshole towards the end of our relationship. Always snapping at me, not saying I love you, having double standards and just all 'round being an ass. Thinking back on it now, I'm glad that we're over. I don't think I saw a very promising future with him. He didn't want to have kids and he didn't want to get married. So really, our relationship would have always been the same.

However, I think that'll be a lot different if I chose to be with Louis. He is kind and cares about me. He picks me up when I'm down. He's seen me vulnerable and he's seen me strong. Louis Tomlinson is definitely the best guy any girl could ask for.

But do I really deserve him after everything I've put him through?

I've rejected him multiple times, I ran from him when I heard that he loved me, I denied him what he wanted – even though I really wanted it too, I lead him on, I jumped to conclusions and always thought he didn't care about me. Boy was I wrong. He really does love me. Otherwise he wouldn't have come to my rescue when Lucas was beating me, he wouldn't constantly try with me and be persistent, and he would just give up.

But that's what I love about Louis. I love that he came to my rescue as my knight in shining armour, I love that he is persistent and constantly tries and I love that he hasn't given up on me. I also love how I can talk to him about anything and he will listen, I love how he lets me cry on his shoulders, I love how he hugs me, I love how he loves my voice and my songs, I love how he brushes my hair behind my ears, I love how he loves my foul mouth and I love how he loves my flaws. Most of all, I love the way he loves me.

Which makes me realise something...

I love Louis William Tomlinson.