The Girl With Lips Of An Angel

Confessions Of A Boy Bander

Louis

We’ve been in sound check for about three hours now and we’ve just been told to take a break so that Michael, Ashton, Calum and Luke can do their sound check. The lads and I have taken a seat in our dressing room. It was quiet for a bit before Harry spoke up.

“So, Louis…”

“So, Harry…” I said in the same tone.

“You and Kaitlyn getting somewhere?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like, are you guys gonna be in a relationship. You know? ‘Getting somewhere’,” he says with air quotes.

“Oh, right. Um…” I pause to think, “I’m not really sure to be honest. Like, I like her as more than a friend, as you probably already know,” I say and he nods his head.

“But do you know how she feels?” Liam asks, joining the conversation. He sits next to Harry and Niall and Zayn sit next to Liam and me, creating a circle.

“To be honest, I don’t know her feelings towards me. However, I do know that she is still in love with Lucas. I mean they only broke up yesterday, so of course she’s got to still love him.”

“I understand where she is coming from, too. Like I still loved Dani for a little bit after we split up, but it went away after a little bit, obviously,” Liam says.

“And it was the same for me with Eleanor. I still loved her after she left, but it’s obviously faded,” I say in agreement with Liam.

“To be honest lads, I still loved Taylor for a while. I mean, even though it was supposed to be a publicity thing, after spending so much time together, she kinda grew on me. And that fondness turned into something much stronger. I never told her though. But she must have figured it out somehow, or at least had a feeling, because she was milking the hell out of it. Always saying ‘Harry if you loved me’ before asking me to do something for her or with her. And she knew that it would hit a nerve when she said that. But she also knew that I would never say no,” Harry admits and we nod.

“It was love though. And you’ll do whatever it takes for the one you love. It’s just how the world works,” Zayn says.

“Unrequited love is the worst, because the feeling of love isn’t returned. Like in Harry and Taylor’s case. And unfortunately now, Louis and Kaitlyn,” Liam says.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, I never said I loved her,” I say quickly and Niall smirks.

“Do you think about her most of the time?” The Irish lad inquires.

“Yes,” I answer honestly.

“Do you pick up on the quirky things she does?” Liam asks.

“Yes.”

“Do you imagine what your future would be like with her?” Zayn asks.

“Yes.”

“Do you dream about having sex with her?” Harry asks.

“Y-Harry!” I admonish.

“Oh, my god, Lou! You were almost going to say yes!” Harry says with wide eyes.

“No, I wasn’t,” I say, not looking him in the eye.

“You couldn’t look me in the eye just then. You were lying!” Harry says, cheering.

“Alright, just drop it you tosser!” I growl, annoyed and he raises his hands in a defensive way.

“But those are all signs of love, Lou. Not really the dreaming about sex part – because you dream about anyone – but the other points are,” Liam points out.

“Surely it can’t happen this early though? I mean I’ve only known the girl a short amount of time. Love can’t grow that quickly?” I ask the Wolverhampton boy.

“Sure it can. Usually it takes longer, but not everything has a time limit. When you’re born, you automatically love your parents and you don’t know anything about them,” he replies.

“But they’re your parents, Liam. It’s supposed to be that way. It’s called unconditional love,” I point out.

“Parents shmarents. Same shit, different smell,” he says, “Point is, you can love a person within a short time frame. It can happen. A person can’t just tell themselves ‘Hey, listen, you can’t love a person until you’ve known them for a certain amount of time’. It doesn’t work that way. Because your heart is going to turn around, give you the bird and tell you to fuck off. Because the heart wants, what the heart wants.”

“Liam, you said two swears just now,” Harry points out.

“That’s irrelevant. Let’s stick to the topic,” He retorts.

“But it’s not normal,” I say in a panic.

“Who said?” Zayn questions.

“Society,” I say with a small voice.

“Society is fucked, let’s just leave it at that. No one can tell you how you feel,” He says blatantly.

“Zayn’s got a point there, mate,” Niall agrees.

“But it’s all well and good that I know how I feel, but I still don’t know how Kaitlyn feels. For all we know, this could remain an unrequited love relationship,” I say.

“Ever thought that the poor girl has enough on her mind already? She probably doesn’t even know how she feels herself,” Liam says.

“She has had a lot going on, she probably hasn’t had time to even take a breather and think about it,” Niall says.

“Wow, Horan, you’re all for agreeing with people today, huh?” I chuckle.

“Hey, they have very valid points. I was thinking the same thing,” He says with a smirk.

“Well, how about we move off the subject of love. Kaitlyn told me you played her a song yesterday,” Liam says with a suggestive tone.

“Yeah, so?” I say.

“How did you manage to play to her yesterday?” Harry asks.

“She wanted to go and play the piano. So I showed her where it was and got everything set up. And then she played the keyboard and sang. She sounded amazing,” I whisper in awe.

“What did she sing?” Zayn asks.

“Battlefield from Lea Michele,” I answer.

“I’ve never heard of it,” He replies.

“It’s a really nice song. Sad, but nice. Her voice got all the right notes and everything,” I tell the lads.

“It must have had something to do with Lucas. I saw tear stains on her cheeks when she came on the bus,” Liam says and I nod.

“It was,” I say.

“But why though? It obviously hurt too much for her to sing it, so why sing it?” Harry asks.

I smile sadly and answer, “She’s addicted to the song lyrics that spill her heart out for her.”