The Girl With Lips Of An Angel

Reading Into It Too Much

Louis

The past couple days have been… different. After Kaitlyn and I spent a bit of time together, I went back to my flat and thought to myself, I thought about so much stuff.

Kaitlyn knows how I feel now, everything. That’s all good and well, I’ve gotten it all off my chest. But I just can’t help but sit here and think ‘what now’, you know? Like, what do I do now that she knows? I completely understand that she doesn’t have the same kind of feelings toward me, I realise that. But, I have no idea what to do now.

I’ve noticed that she’s not a very open person, you have to pry trough the walls that she’s built up, peel back all the layers that are known as Kaitlyn, to get to the bottom of her feelings. But I’m not sure that I actually accomplished that.

I have to really know how she’s feeling, how she feels about me in her heart of hearts. How she feels right down in the pit of her stomach. I mean, yeah, I understand that she feels as though she will get hurt by me, she fears it. But I hope I cleared that up to the best of my abilities. Any relationship comes with emotional hurt. Look at me, we only have this friendship thing going on, and I’m hurting right now. I’m hurting emotionally because the girl I love doesn’t love me back.

I suppose it’s not exactly rejection, because she didn’t push me away. But it still eats at me. There is still that feeling inside that I’m not good enough for her, or she will never feel this way for me. Or maybe it’s none of them and I’m just reading into it too much. Yeah, it’s probably that.

Apart from all the emotional stuff, the hurt and what not, Kaitlyn and I have seen each other a couple of other times. Hayley had invited all us guys, Lou, Brianna, Jayde, Ryan and Josh over for the night for a party. She had said that her and Niall still had one thing left on her list that her sister gave her. She needed to get drunk.

That was a reason enough for me to go over and have a good time with Hayley and the lads, but I would also get to see Kaitlyn. I guess you could say that that was the real reason I was going over there.

I showered quickly, washing my too long hair. I got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist and shaking my hair free of excess water. I walked into my room and looked through my closet. I pull the hangers from one side of the closet to the other in my search for an outfit. I chuckled as I saw a striped shirt with red jeans ironed and hanging on the hanger with the shirt. I kept sliding clothes along the rod before I huffed and took out a pair of black skinny jeans and a white t-shirt with black patterns.

I slipped the shirt over my head first and then slipped on some grey Calvin Klein’s before I jumped around trying to pull the jeans over my skinny legs. I pulled out a pair of black vans from the bottom of my closet and put those on before grabbing my keys and phone and heading out the door en route to Hayley’s.

It didn’t take long to get to my best girl friend’s house, the sun had only just gone down. I turn my big black car off and walked around to Hayley’s front door. A blinking light was coming through the windows every second or so which I thought was odd. The music was muffled, but it was till loud and noticeable. I heard one of her windows open with a loud clang against the window bracket and an ear piercing squeal following after it.

I covered my ears from the squeal and chuckled.

“Louis!” I heard Hayley squeal, though it came out more like ‘Loway’.

“Hi, Hayley, starting already?” I asked loudly so she could hear me over the music.

“Uh-huh, drinking is fun!” She exclaims.

“Hayley, pull your head through the window, silly,” I hear an accented voice say. Then a head of blonde hair peeped around her body and smiled at me.

“Hey, Niall, you alright?” I asked and he nodded profusely.

 “Louis, mate, come on in. The parties in full swing, you are late!” He exclaims.

I put my hands up in a defensive manner and smirk, “My bad. Didn’t know we were starting this early.”

“Well we did. Now hurry the fuck up!” Hayley squeals and runs back inside. Niall shakes his head and follows after his very energetic and very drunk girlfriend.

I wander the next couple of steps up to the front door and let myself in. The music comes out more clearly and I can hear everybody singing and dancing. I notice that the blinking light is coming from a strobe light that Hayley must have installed, hanging in the corner of the roof. It definitely does give off more of a party feel.

I see Harry, Hayley, Jayde, Brianna and Lou playing Just Dance on Hayley’s x box. Liam, Niall, Josh and Ryan are mucking around in the kitchen playing beer pong, though the liquid looks too dark to be beer. I look over to the counter behind the four lads and see a bottle of Jack Daniels almost empty and shake my head with a fond smile.

I look around more and notice that Kaitlyn and Zayn are missing. I walk to the back door and look through the small window in the door and see Kaitlyn comforting Zayn. His head is rested in the crook of her neck and she is rubbing his back in a comforting manner. I see Zayn’s body shake more and Kaitlyn shake her head. She lifts her head in my direction, she must have seen me from the corner of her eyes as she gives me a small, sad smile and mouths a ‘hey’. I smile back and I walk away from the door and go and play beer pong with the other lads.