Kaitlyn
By the time I finish playing, I am in hysterics. Tears run freely down my cheeks and my throat is so dry.
A sound behind me brings me out of my thoughts and I spin around and see the all too familiar blue eyes, clapping for me.
Louis.
I wipe my eyes and wipe my hands on my thighs, “What are you doing here?”
“I perform here,” he says matter-of-factly.
“Fuck off, you know what I mean!”
“I just wanted to watch you play, then you started to sing and I was fascinated. I wanted to stay and watch you more. You’re a really beautiful player and you have a beautiful voice.”
“Thank you,” I can feel the heat rise to my cheeks from his compliment.
“You’re more than welcome. Who taught you to play?”
“I took classes as a kid. I was always more musical out of the kids. My brothers were into sport, always. I’m the youngest of three. I’ve got two older brothers.”
“I have five sisters, Charlotte or "Lottie", Félicité or "Fizzy", identical twins, Daisy and Phoebe, and I have another sister, Georgia, who is on my dad’s side . But being a directioner, you already knew that,” he says with a smile and I laugh.
“Quite the opposite actually; I didn’t know your siblings’ names. I’m not that crazy.”
He smiles at me and shakes his head before walking up to me and sitting next to me on the piano stool. He looks at me with a smile again before he starts to play on the keyboard. His fingers move swiftly across the keys and I am caught in a daze looking at his skilled fingers.
“Pick the song,” he says quietly.
I listen intently to try and pick the song and it doesn’t come as quickly as I’d like. He nudges me in the side softly, trying not to hurt me. I smile and rack my brain harder. As soon as the chorus comes up, I immediately know the song.
They don’t know about the things we do
They don’t know about the "I love you’s”
But I bet you if they only knew (they don't know)
They would just be jealous of us,
They don’t know about the up all nights
They don’t know I've waited all my life
Just to find a love that feels this right
Baby they don’t know about, they don’t know about us
He smiles at me and then sings the next verse.
One touch and I was a believer
Every kiss it gets a little sweeter
It’s getting better
Keeps getting better all the time, girl
I smile and look down at my fingers. He pauses for a second and looks at me.
“You have a beautiful voice, don’t hide it away from people. Sing with me on the next chorus, ‘kay?”
They don’t know about the things we do
They don’t know about the "I love you’s”
But I bet you if they only knew (they don't know)
They would just be jealous of us,
They don’t know about the up all nights
They don’t know I've waited all my life
Just to find a love that feels this right
Baby they don’t know about, they don’t know about us
He stops playing and smiles at me. He has a really beautiful smile. His eyes crinkle in the corner, squint a little and shine a bit more. His cheeks push up and his laugh lines are prominent. For a moment longer, I just gaze at his face and admire it. Then he speaks again.
“So what drew you to music?”
“I loved the sounds that a voice or instruments can make. The first song I remember listening to, and actually listening to a person’s voice, was ‘She Will Be Loved’ from Maroon 5. Ever since then, I’ve just loved music.”
He nods, taking in all I have to say, “And what made you choose the piano?”
“My mum took me to the orchestra one night when I was about… oh, maybe eleven, and I absolutely loved the sound that the piano made. It was so peaceful and calming that the music just carried me away. I can play guitar too, but not that well. And let’s face it, how mainstream is playing the guitar?”
He chuckles, “So true.”
“I like how Hayley can play the drums, that’s pretty cool. I don’t know many girls who can play the drums.”
“It is pretty cool.”
He looks at me for a little but, not knowing what to say.
“How are you feeling after yesterday?” He asks me.
I pause, thinking, then answer, “To be honest, I thought it was all a dream. Like, I didn’t think Lucas was capable of hurting me like that. When we met, he was so sweet and innocent. And the last couple of months, he’s just been so nasty. Then I find out that he’s been cheating on me. He told me that I wasn’t good enough for him. Do you know what it’s like to get told from your boyfriend that you’re not good enough for them? It was like being stabbed in the heart, then the dagger swirling around in a circle to make sure it did a good enough job,” I can feel the tears falling freely down my cheeks. Louis looks at me with an unnamed expression. I take a deep breath and continue, “Then, not only did I get an emotional beating, but a physical one. That was the cherry on top of the fucking cake. I didn’t think that he was capable of such heinous things. He told me that he would never raise a hand to me, never. But you’ve seen him, Louis. You’ve seen him raise his hand to me. Then last night I get the shit beaten out of me! Lucas was no longer the boy I fell in love with.”
Louis immediately engulfs me in a hug. I cry into his shoulder and hold onto the front of his shirt for dear life. He just holds me and lets me cry.
“I don’t know what I can say to make it better for you, Kaitlyn, I really don’t. But I can tell you one thing, I do know what it’s like for someone to tell me that I’m not good enough for them,” He says and stroke my hair with his free hand while the other is wrapped around my shoulders, “When Eleanor and I broke up, she admitted to me that it wasn’t because she couldn’t handle the hate, but because I wasn’t good enough for her. Her expectations were too high and I couldn’t fulfil those. I just tell people that she couldn’t handle the hate because that is much easier than telling them that you weren’t good enough for someone. When Eleanor told me that, I was absolutely devastated. I couldn’t believe the reason she was leaving me was because I couldn’t meet her expectations. I spent three days, couped up in a hotel room while we were on tour because I couldn’t understand why. All of the times that she told me she loved me obviously meant nothing, because she told me I didn’t meet her expectations, she told me I wasn’t good enough for her. So yes, Kaitlyn, I do know what it feels like. And the pain I felt is exactly how you described it: a dagger to the heart and then being twisted around.”
He holds me tighter while I cry. It feels nice to be in the arms of someone who knows exactly how you feel. For them to understand the pain you have suffered through. For them to hold you while you spill your heart out. For them to be able to feel comfortable enough to do the same.
Even though I haven’t known Louis for long, I feel as though I can tell him anything. This friendship that we have can only grow. And I hope it grows into something great. I may have lost Lucas, whom I thought was the love of my life – how naïve I was –, to now having gained Louis in my life – who is a great friend so far – is something that I am quite okay with.
When one door closes, another opens. And I’m glad that my door opened up to Louis Tomlinson.
YOU ARE READING
The Girl With Lips Of An Angel
Fanfiction"To burn with desire and love and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves. But once we are loved back, it's the greatest reward we could ask for." Kaitlyn's closed off to love, and Louis knows that. Kaitlyn has a pot...
