Fatal Affair

Chapter 38: Grief

Nova refused to close her eyes, wanting Severus to see her looking at him before she died. She braced herself for death, her body going rigid. She watched as the green light flowed from his wand, hurtled in her direction, and flew over head. 

The killing curse missed, crashing into the wall behind Nova. This sent everyone flying in the opposite direction. The wall crumbled into pieces, clouds of dust from the wreckage swept over the room, skewing their vision. People coughed, trying to move through the confusion. 

"Where is she?" Bellatrix's shrill voice broke through the tremor of the room. 

Nova coughed and sputtered, trying to clear her lungs of dust while processing the fact that she was still alive. Suddenly, a hand clasped around Nova's wrist. The hand pulled her up and guided her.

Nova tripped over her own feet and the person held her up, trying to force her to keep moving. 

"Stand," the deep voice commanded. Nova tried looking at the face to whom the hand belonged to, but she inhaled more dust causing her to double over in a coughing fit. 

She was practically dragged out of the room and she looked up and saw Severus. Her mind told her to fight him but her body was too busy struggling for breath to do much else. 

Severus did not stop until they were outside of Malfoy Manor. He coughed while shoving her ahead of him. He looked behind him, making sure they weren't being followed. 

"Go!" he shouted at her. 

"What?" she said, breathing in the fresh air. She stopped moving, allowing her lungs to catch up. 

"You need to go before they come out!" Severus shouted. "Remus is waiting for you at Grimmauld Place. He'll take you to where you need to go." 

"Severus, I don't understand," Nova said, trying to piece together what had happened. 

"There's nothing to understand," Severus said urgently. "If you do not go, I cannot save you a second time. They will kill you." 

"You weren't going to kill me?" Nova asked. 

"Of course not," Severus said. 

"What about Dumbledore?" 

Severus was silent for a moment. "I do not have time to explain that." He bit his lip, deep in thought. "I understand why you can no longer trust me, Nova. I'm sorry it has to be this way." 

Nova looked at Severus, not understanding his motives but accepting what he was telling her. "How did you know where to find me?" 

"Draco wrote me," Severus said. 

Nova furrowed her brow, considering this. "Why can't you come with me?" 

"I need to straighten this situation out," Severus said. "Nova... I can no longer go back. You understand this, right?" 

Nova understood this to mean that he was picking a side, the wrong side. She nodded slowly, defiantly. She was conflicted between her feelings towards Dumbledore's death and being saved. "My wand," she said stiffly. 

"You'll have to get a new one," Severus said. "Just be glad you're leaving with your life. Now, please, go." 

Nova took one last look at Severus then turned to leave. She stopped, looked over her shoulder. "Will you be ok here?" 

"I can handle them," Severus assured her. 

Nova nodded again and looked up into the windows of Malfoy Manor. She thought she saw someone watching her from behind a curtain, a boy with blonde hair. The curtain moved, the window abandoned. 

She turned to leave, walking a few steps before apparating. 

She found herself at Grimmauld Place, the street empty and quiet, the only source of light coming from the moon. 

She walked inside. The house appeared empty at first, eerily silent. The quiet hurt her eardrums after the blast from the wreckage. She noticed a light flicker in the kitchen. She approached it and found Remus sitting at the table, reading the newspaper. 

"Nova!" he exclaimed upon seeing her. "Where have you been? You were supposed to be here hours ago!" 

"Remus," Nova said weakly. "Dumbledore's dead." 

Remus sucked in a breath. "I know, we have to get out of here. Everybody left already." 

"What? Why?" Nova was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to collapse in a bed. 

"Dumbledore was secret keeper of this place," Remus explained. "Now anyone can share its location. Including Severus." Remus eyed Nova suspiciously. "I thought he would've killed you too." 

Nova swallowed with difficulty, a bubble forming in her throat. "But you still waited for me?" 

"Just in case," Remus said. "There's a couple of members looking for you. We need to get you out of here then I'll have to locate them and let them know you're safe." 

Nova tried to smile but tears filled her eyes, threatening to spill. "I could've saved him, Remus," she whispered. 

"Don't do that," Remus said. "There was nothing you could have done that wouldn't have risked your own life." 

"You make me sound like a coward," Nova smiled weakly. 

"You know that's not what I mean," Remus said. He bit the inside of his cheek, clearly at a lost for what to say. "Nova, where did you go? We looked everywhere at the school for you." 

"Bellatrix took me back to Malfoy Manor," Nova explained. 

"Was Severus with you? I don't understand how you're alive." 

"Remus, I don't really want to talk about it right now." 

"OK," he replied. "I understand. Let's go." 

Nova followed Remus out of the house. She felt lost, left without a sense of direction. With Dumbledore gone, she did not know her next move or what she should do. She felt conflicted towards Severus. She felt unsure of everything that had felt stable in her life before. 

When they arrived at the safe location, which happened to be Tonk's parents' house, Tonk's mother showed her to her room. Apparently, Tonks was out looking for Nova. Nova collapsed into the bed and allowed herself to grieve.