𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐒, james potter

04. the right thing

ALL MORNING, SHE stares at the back of James Potter's head from the Slytherin table. She couldn't have possibly anticipated how much she aches for him. His sweet words whispered onto her delicate skin in the dead of night. His comforting smile that always managed to take her breath away. The soft feel of his rough, calloused hands on her body making her feel warm and protected.

He doesn't glance at her even once.

It is as if they are strangers, two souls that never intertwined in the most intimate of ways. Nesrin watches as he turns his head to look at Lily, a broad smile etched onto his beautiful face the same way it used to when she had told him a joke she'd heard from one of the Prewett brothers.

It kills her to know that he looks at another girl the same way he used to look at her.

She can't blame anyone but herself, though. She knew what she was getting into, harboring a crush on someone like James Potter. She should have known better. She should never have let it go so far in the first place. She should have been happy just admiring him from afar.

She sighs quietly, looking back down at her untouched breakfast. Evan Rosier nudges her from where he's sitting next to her. Nesrin doesn't particularly like Evan, but he is the most tolerable out of all of Idris's friends.

She turns to look at him with a blank stare. Evan grins.

"Did you miss me, Nes?"

Nesrin scrunches her eyebrows upward as if to say did you really just ask me that dumbass question? "I'll let you continue believing that a yes would ever be an answer to that question."

Evan lets out a sarcastic laugh. "You can't lie to me, Fadel. Of course, you missed me. After all, how could you ever live without me?"

Nesrin rolled her eyes, not even bothering to glance at him.

"Anyway, are you trying out for Quidditch?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Because what?"

"When the fuck have you ever seen me even touch a broom let alone play Quidditch?"

Evan shrugs as if she may have been playing Quidditch all her life secretly without anyone's knowledge.

"Well, you should at least come to the games and practices to cheer me on. You know, this summer I actually learned this really cool trick..."

Nesrin completely zones out of what he says. Not because she's trying to be rude or because she's uninterested. Just because lately the only thing on her mind has been a tall boy with dark-rimmed glasses and even darker hair.

On their own accord, her eyes shoot up once again to stare at the Gryffindor table. His mouth is pulled into a wide grin as he stares at the redhead next to him. Not that she would ever admit it, but it makes her heart clench and her throat tight.

She spent the last year trying to forget every single detail about James Potter, and just when she thought she could go a minute without thinking of him, she was thrown right back into his world.

Except, she has never been a part of his world. And she never will be.

From the corner of her eye, she watches as a tall, dark-haired figure approaches the table. He takes his usual seat next to Barty Crouch Jr and stares at his food moodily. When he looks up, his eyes immediately meet Nesrin's and soften immediately.

Very subtly, so that no one else can see, she nods her head slowly.

She turns back to Evan who is still blabbering about some sort of new Quidditch trick he learned. Politely, Nesrin excuses herself to use the bathroom. She walks out of the Great Hall and into a hidden corridor no one passes by. She waits there for a few minutes mindlessly scuffing the bottom of her right shoe when she senses a presence behind her.

Turning around, she allows a small smile to appear at the corners of her lips as she steps forward to wrap her arms around his neck. He hugs her back tightly before they pull away.

Nesrin stares up at the familiar face of Regulus Black with fondness. He is technically part of her friend group, but the two aren't seen interacting often. In reality, they are very close and care about each other deeply, especially now in times like these.

"Hey, Reg," Nesrin greets him.

"Hi, Nes. Did you get back okay?"

Nesrin nods. "Yeah. It was a pain being stuck with my parents, but whatever. I'm just glad to be back. Kind of."

Regulus lets out a soft chuckle. "I get what you mean."

Though Nesrin had never once mentioned James or the idea of the two of them being in a relationship, Regulus had always seemed to sense something between them. Nothing was ever confirmed, however, because of Regulus rarely ever asking questions about Nesrin's love life and with Nesrin dodging every question he did ask.

Struck out of her thoughts, Nesrin stares at Regulus's left forearm for a few silent seconds before looking back at him. His eyes are sad as he looks at her and nods.

"I got it," he whispers, so lowly that Nesrin is almost unable to hear it.

Nesrin swallows thickly. She hates seeing Regulus go through this. He lifts the sleeve of his shirt and places the tip of his wand on his arm while silently casting a revealing spell. A dark tattoo soon comes to light, and Nesrin stares at it with anger and frustration. The two friends are silent for a long moment.

"We're doing the right thing, right?" Regulus asks quietly.

Nesrin's heart breaks at the sound of Regulus sounding so sad and scared. She has often felt like Regulus's older sister, especially now that Sirius Black no longer resides with his family. On one hand, Nesrin understands why he left, but on the other, she resents him for leaving Regulus by himself. He is stronger than he seems, but he is also vulnerable and young.

He is only sixteen, and he is now a death eater.

"Yes, Reg. We are," Nesrin nods as she places her hand on his shoulder. "Idris and I are getting ours soon too. No one suspects anything."

Regulus exhales slowly and looks down at his feet. "I wish we didn't have to do this."

"I know. Me too. But we have to do whatever it takes to defeat You Know Who."

"I still think we should tell Idris."

Nesrin immediately shakes her head. "No, I know Idris. He won't join us. We can't risk telling him and have him give us away."

"Idris wouldn't do that," Regulus argues. "Even if he didn't agree."

"Maybe he wouldn't. But we just can't risk it."

Regulus nods hesitantly, looking at his feet again. Nesrin squeezes his shoulder.

"Reg. Someone has to stop him. So many people are dying because of him and his stupid beliefs. We don't get to choose where we come from, and we shouldn't be punished for things out of our control. I know you're young and that this is a lot, but I need you to know that what we're doing is going to save a lot of lives. I need to know if you're fully in this or not."

He looks up and purses his lips. Then, he lets a small smile cross his face as he nods firmly.

"I'm in this," he states confidently. "We're doing this."

Nesrin smiles and reaches up to give him another hug. It won't be easy, they both know that.

But it will be worth it.