𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐒, james potter

08. the smell of home

CLEARLY, SLUGHORN HAS it out for Nesrin.

Why else would there be amortentia when she walks through the door to the potions classroom?

The smell is so strong that she nearly collapses. The smell is so strong and familiar that Nesrin has the sudden urge to cry because she knows she will never get to be close enough to the owner of this scent for the aroma to surround her nostrils like it does in this moment.

The earth right after it has poured down rain; the way he smells after Quidditch practice. The sweet scent of honey mixed with butterbeer. The subtle cologne he used to use in fifth year—the one Nesrin knows he still uses because sometimes when she has to lean toward him to grab something from their desk, she catches a whiff of that same scent.

The smell of home.

She reaches her seat before James enters the classroom. She quickly gets out her supplies and then leans back, closing her eyes. She definitely didn't get enough sleep last night.

A sudden giggle from the front of the classroom forces Nesrin to open her eyes again. She immediately wishes she didn't.

Lily Evans grins up at her dark-haired boyfriend, her arms wrapped tightly around his waist. Nesrin is far enough away that she can't see James's expression. She's only able to look at them for a second before she moves her gaze away and fiddles with the quill on her desk.

She's looking down, so she doesn't notice James until he drops down into the seat beside her and she can suddenly feel the heat of his body. Her breath catches in her throat, the amortentia seemingly growing even stronger.

Before she thinks too much about James or the love potion, Slughorn calls up everyone's attention.

"Now, you all should know what the potion at the front of the class is," he started. "You learned this last year. For your NEWTs, you need to be able to brew this potion which is what we'll be practicing today. Now, who can refresh everyone's memory about this potion?"

Lily's hand is in the air before Slughorn even finishes his question.

Once he calls on her, she answers, "This is amortentia, the strongest love potion in the world. Each person smells something different, depending on who or what they're attracted to. I, for example, smell sandalwood and honey."

There is a small, shy smile on her face as she says it and others around the class start cheering and whistling. She looks up at James, and Nesrin refuses to take in James's face at that moment.

She knows that what she'll see will hurt too much.

Nesrin zones out of Slughorn's lecture until he finally lets the class get on with making their potions with their partners. She glances at James to find that he is already grabbing the cauldron and ingredients for the potion.

She nods to herself and gets up from her seat to get the remaining ingredients from the front of the classroom. When she returns, she carefully places the items on the desk and then looks up. Without meaning to, her gaze locks with James's.

His face is twisted into a frustrated expression, and Nesrin can't help but feel it's because of her. She looks away first and gestures to the rose petals and thorns.

"I'll grind the flowers."

He doesn't say anything in response. She holds back a sigh and gets to work as James grabs the moonstone and pearl dust that need to be ground and then blended together thoroughly.

As they both work silently, Nesrin can't help herself from glancing at James from the corner of her eye every now and again just to be sure that he is there. That he is next to her and the warmth is coming from his body and not just something she's making up in her head.

After a few minutes, she notices that James is having a little trouble with the blending of the two substances. His brows wrinkle, and she hears the quiet, frustrated huff that leaves his mouth as he looks down at the ingredients.

Without thinking, Nesrin reaches her hand out to grab the grinding tools from him. "Let me."

"I can do it myself," James sneers, coiling away from her hands.

She tries to blink away the hurt, not letting it show on her face.

How many times must she tell herself that it is better this way before she believes it? How many times must she tell herself before it doesn't hurt anymore?

Possibly not enough to fill this lifetime or the next.

She moves away from him without a word and works on the next step of the potion. Out of the corner of her eye, she can see James turn his head to look at her.

✧ ✦ ✧

SHE REACHES THE library a bit earlier than the proposed time. She decides to get to work and start searching through the books to find anything that could help them.

She feels Regulus's presence before she sees him. He steps out from behind her and sends her a small smile. She smiles back as she looks up at him.

"Hey, you made it," she greets him. "How was class?"

"It was good. I love Charms."

Nesrin chuckles. "I know you do. C'mon, let's get looking. The sooner we find some kind of a clue, the sooner we can try to work out how to stop You Know Who."

Regulus nods and drops his schoolbag at the desk and starts pulling out books and doing the same as Nesrin.

𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 !

writer's block is real man.

i have like nearly forty chapters already planned with everything that's gonna happen but i can't bring myself to write them ugh

anywayyy, how is everyone doing? any exciting plans coming up?