𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐒, james potter

14. comfort in him

January 30, 1975

THE WORDS BOUNCED around in her head incessantly. She couldn't get them to stop.

Worthless daughter. Should have put you up for adoption. Can do nothing right. Be more like your brother.

She didn't know why she still let their words bother her. They had always favored Idris over her. She used to wonder why they did, but as she got older, she realized that it didn't really matter. Knowing the reason wouldn't change anything because they would never change.

But even now, as she couldn't stop thinking of those words, she still let her parents get to her.

She knew her eyes were red as she walked to the library for her tutoring session. She had thought about just not showing up, but something stopped her. There was this voice deep, deep, deep inside of her that told her that she needed to see James. That somehow seeing him would make all her problems and misery disappear.

Right before she entered the library, she wiped at her eyes and under her nose. Glancing at the ceiling, she blinked away any incoming tears and took a deep breath.

When she was finally ready, she walked in and made a beeline straight to their usual table in the very back of the library where no one ever went. Wordlessly, she pulled out a chair across from the hazel-eyed boy and sat down.

Without glancing up, a smile tugged at his lips. "Took you long enough, Fadel. I was beginning to think you weren't—"

He suddenly stopped midway through his sentence, eyes widening as he finally looked up and saw Nesrin.

She had done an awful job at hiding her swollen cheeks and rheumy eyes. James blinked at her as if what he was seeing wasn't actually real.

"What happened?" James asked in an impossibly soft, quiet voice.

Nesrin swallowed and forced a smile on her face. "Nothing. What are we studying today?"

He frowned. "Nesrin. What the fuck happened?"

She looked down. She couldn't bear to see the worried lines etched across his face. She couldn't bear to see someone she was supposed to hate worry for her and show her that he cared about her.

She didn't say anything. He didn't either.

He got up from his seat and made his way around the table to sit down in the chair next to hers.

Without hesitation, he reached forward and grabbed her hand, placing it in his lap and running his thumb back and forth across the back of her palm. With his free hand, he swiped at her cheek with his knuckle.

She hadn't even realized she'd started crying again.

In the sweetest, most delicate, most gentle voice she had ever heard from anyone, the Gryffindor boy said, "Nes, what's wrong? Did someone say something to you? Tell me the name, and I'll come up with a prank so good, they'll never bother you again."

His words made her want to cry even more. Apart from Idris, no one had ever cared for her this deeply.

She thought she had friends, but she was really just lying to herself. Because James was the only true friend she had ever had.

James's thumb rested on her cheekbone briefly before it slid down to her chin. He pulled on it gently to get her to look at him.

When their eyes met, all Nesrin could see in his was concern.

And suddenly, she just wanted to tell him.

"It's...it's my parents," she started. James stared at her without saying a word, giving her his full attention. "They sent me a letter. I'll spare you the details, but they basically said they wished they'd given me up for adoption and that I would never be the daughter they wanted or cared for. It just upset me. Whatever. It's fine."

He stared at her for a long moment. "It's not fine," he finally said, furrowing his eyebrows. "If it bothers you and makes you cry, it's not fine." They were silent for a few seconds before James added quietly, "They really said that to you?"

Nesrin nodded, sniffling. "I just...I try so hard to be who they want me to be. But I don't think I can. I can't be Idris, and I can't be this perfect daughter they're expecting me to be."

James listened to every word, never interrupting. Nesrin found this oddly comforting and confusing at how that fact single-handedly made her feel better.

Suddenly, James stood from his seat and held out his hand. Nesrin stared at it in confusion.

"Come with me."

The way he said it—as if this entire floor could break in at that exact moment and she would be safe as long as she was with him—was what made her slide her palm against his.

They left all their books there. They walked out of the library and through hallways Nesrin wasn't sure she had even known about before they ended up somewhere outside.

Nesrin's jaw dropped as she took in her surroundings. There was this quiet opening right outside the school. Dew glistened on blades of grass that spanned out over probably a mile. Trees were scattered around the area, giving onlookers shade. In the distance, she could just barely see the outline of the Whomping Willow.

She had no idea this place existed.

James smiled at the look of wonder on her face, squeezing her fingers. Nesrin turned to look at him, a grin present on her lips.

He pulled at her hand, dragging her over to an area just under one of the trees. He sat down and gestured for her to do the same. The wet grass met her bottom, but she didn't care.

This place was beautiful.

Turning to James, she raised an eyebrow. "How long have you been trying to bring Evans here?"

When he glanced over at her, the look on his face was serious. "I've never tried." She blinked at him in surprise, and he continued, "This is my special spot. It's where I come to be alone. I've never brought anyone else here."

Nesrin stared at him. "Not even Black or Lupin or Pettigrew?"

James shook his head.

She was quiet for a second. "So why did you bring me here?"

He shrugged, still staring at her. "I figured, if anyone, you would appreciate it."

She didn't know how to reply to that. So, she didn't. Instead, she just closed her eyes and leaned back against the trunk of the tree.

They must have spent over an hour there, just talking and joking and laughing with each other. Nesrin had never felt so comfortable around someone before.

It was kind of nice.

Later, when the two went their separate ways after postponing their tutoring session, Nesrin couldn't stop smiling. She wandered around the hallways after curfew without a care in the world about whether or not she got caught. 

As she walked along a large window, she glanced outside and saw a very familiar figure along with two other ones walking up to the Whomping Willow. She knitted her eyebrows together and moved closer to the window.

However, when she looked out the window again, they had disappeared.

𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 !

i adore mariana zapata books.