𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐒, james potter

40. do you have to be so stubborn?

THE CLOUDS HAVE turned a dark gray as a single drop falls from the sky and slides down Nesrin's nose. Fearing that it is about to rain harder, she ducks beneath a thin ledge.

It's been half an hour since everyone was supposed to be back at school from Hogsmeade, but after losing track of time and drowning herself in the warm tea at her favorite shop, she missed the carriages back.

She's contemplating whether she should just book it back to the castle or if she should wait out the storm that is probably going to happen at any second when the platter of footsteps sounds from a distance and comes closer.

She turns to her side just as James tucks himself between the building and Nesrin, underneath the same ledge.

He's panting lightly for a second, droplets of water dripping from his hair, before his gaze meets hers. His eyes widen, clearly surprised that he is not alone and even more surprised that the person he's currently occupying the ledge with is the girl who broke his heart.

For a second, they just stare at each other in shock having not expected that the other would be there.

After what happened a few days ago, a larger knot of guilt has settled painfully in Nesrin's stomach. It hurts to know that she caused so many insecurities in the person who got rid of all of hers.

She hates that he thinks he wasn't enough for her. She hates that she has to let him.

What she wishes she could tell him is that he is the only person who has ever made her feel like she's enough. She wishes she could tell him that if anyone, she's the one who doesn't deserve him.

She wishes she could tell him that she loves him. More than she has ever loved another soul in the world.

She watches his throat bob once before he nods at her and looks away.

They stand there together in silence. It isn't awkward, but it isn't comfortable either. Nesrin tries not to think of his sad eyes, the longing on his face, the glistening of his unshed tears.

When she closes her eyes, all she can see is him. The way he looked at her when he asked if he wasn't enough for her.

That probably hurt her more than the day she broke up with him.

And then suddenly all the memories creep onto her, seep through her skin and settle deep within her bones. Every single time James looked at her as if she was the most beautiful thing in the world and every single time he looked at her as if he couldn't recognize her anymore.

As if she never existed in his life.

A shiver runs down her spine.

She sees James's head turn from her peripheral vision.

"Are you cold?" he asks softly.

Stop, she wants to tell him. Stop caring before I do something I will regret.

But she keeps her mouth closed. She shakes her head and looks to the side to stop herself from glancing at him from the corner of her eye. But it is then that she realizes just how cold she is. All she's wearing is a flimsy sweater that doesn't do much to warm her up. She suppresses another shiver anyway.

She hears him shuffling from beside her but refuses to look over at him.

"Here," he states simply.

Reluctantly, she tears her gaze away from the very appealing tree in the distance and looks at him. He's holding something in his hands out to her—his cardigan that he was only just wearing seconds before.

She has to bite her lip to stop herself from showing any kind of emotion on her face.

"I'm okay," she says.

He doesn't retract his arm. "Nesrin, you're shivering."

Then another shiver runs through her, but it isn't because of the cold. It's because of him saying her name.

"I'm not." She so very clearly is, and James can see straight through her lie. "Thank you, but I don't need it."

His brows draw together in a glower. "Just take it."

"I said I'm fine." Nesrin frowns, starting to grow frustrated.

Why does he have to make it so hard to get over him?

"I can see you fucking shaking, you're not fine." His eyes narrow and he turns so that his whole body is facing hers.

Her jaw clenches. She glares at him.

"Well, I'll be fine. I don't need your sympathy, nor do I want it."

His eyes turn to ice. "This is not me being sympathetic. This is me worrying that someone is cold, and I have something that could keep them warm. Sorry for not wanting you to get hypothermia."

She lets out a huff of frustration. "I'm not going to get hypothermia if I don't take your cardigan, okay? I'll be fine."

He groans in equal annoyance. In an exasperated tone, he says, "Do you have to be so stubborn?"

They glare at each other, breaths coming heavier than before.

She sees the irritation on his face, his eyes cold and intense. She gets more frustrated. But then she notices the lines of exhaustion on his face, the bags underneath his eyes. She forces herself to not overthink them.

A dark silence falls between them, the two of them glowering at each other with their fists clenched and lips pursed. During the duration of their argument, they have somehow gotten closer to each other. Their toes are only an inch away from touching.

A tension surrounds them, so thick that for a second, it disables Nesrin's ability to think clearly.

And then James drops his cardigan and reaches for her.

His arm circles around her waist tightly, his head ducking down as he crashes his lips against hers. She freezes.

She can pinpoint the exact moment that she gives in—James's free hand cups the back of her neck, and the fingers around her waist dig into her hip.

Her hands come up to grab his face, her fingers tangling in his damp hair. He still tastes the same, he still feels the same. His lips are soft against hers, testing the waters before sinking beneath the deep, dark depths of the unknown.

She tugs on his hair, feeling rather than hearing his groan drown out in her mouth. He bites down on her bottom lip and then all of a sudden their kiss is anything but gentle. She parts her lips, his tongue ducking in and swiping against hers. She sighs into his mouth, pressing her body closer to his.

His fingers massage her scalp, his nose brushes her cheek. His touch sears through her body, and she fears it may burn holes through her clothes. She no longer feels cold. All she feels is hot all over. Her calves begin to cramp from standing on her toes, but she doesn't care. She just pulls him impossibly closer, kisses him harder. Lips. Teeth. Tongue.

She had forgotten what it felt like to be kissed by James Potter. To feel so special, so high above the clouds, that everything else seems to fade out. To feel as if you're the luckiest person in the world to be held like that.

She wonders if Lily has ever felt that way.

Lily.

Shit.

Nesrin's eyes snap open. She untangles herself from James, pushing away from him. She stares at him with wide eyes, his lips swollen and hair mussed.

Abruptly, she turns and hastily walks all the way back to the castle, not caring about the rain pouring down over her.

When she gets back to the common room, she is completely drenched.

𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 !

so...how we feeling?