One little love

CHAPTER 6 : Realization

Zee POV

Camellia has been my girlfriend almost for 3 years. My parents introduce me to her when I was in London. She came to visit me as soon as she landed in Thailand. Her hand lingered around my neck kissing my lips as we meet. I just response to her kiss with no feeling. We never take things further and I have never touch her if she didn't initiate. Literally,our relationship is based on the business. Our parents are business partner and we rely on each other. I should never hurt her for the sake of my ancestral business .

A sudden knock stop us and there ,I saw nunew crack the door open. This is the first time I saw him after he left that morning. My gaze abruptly shifted to his bruised wrist. He had a fair skin so any stain can be clearly seen. My heart aching seeing him like that. He acted like nothing happened after our arguement that night. Suddenly ,I thought on provoking his jealousy. I hold camellia waist close to my body. Let me see if he can endure it? I form a thin smile as I watch him furrowing his eyebrow. I know he want to hide his jealousy. 'Just tell me you are jealous nhu..I will come to you right away' I keep the thought to myself. I want him to lower his ego and opened up to me. Let me know the truth about his past. 'You don't have to teach me! Remember who you are! Just do what I say! Get out now!'. I lashed out on him. I felt angry when I see him. Why he didn't put any effort to set us back. At least, tell me the truth. Don't left me hanging like this. It won't work if I'm the only one trying. A relationship always consist of two people. I am trying here so I want him to do the same. I know it is not his fault. There must be something behind that force him to leave me. He should put some effort to put things back to its place. I want him to be mine and I'm sure he would want the same. I know I was wrong raising my voice but I can't control my emotion lately. Everything going out of control. He didn't response to my scold ,instead ,heading out of the office.

'Zee..what are you doing?' Camellia voice out looking at me confusedly. 'What? I didn't do anything ' she get up from my lap standing and lean herself toward me. 'You never touch me if I didn't start it, zee..tell me the truth..who is he?' she can sense everything accurately. Even when I had problem she can guess it. She helped me in many ways. I gulped in fear. 'Tell me..I want to know' she standing up straight. 'He is ..he is my ex boyfriend' I blurt out the truth. I didn't want to keep any secret from her. Camellia is a kind and caring woman. I kept my feelings from her for a long time and now I think it is appropriate time to let her know the truth. 'and you still love him didn't you? I know you use me to provoke him. For god sake zee, why wouldn't I know that?' she let a light sighed. I can't denied the truth. I really did love nunew. I angled my gaze down playing with my finger. I'm afraid she will be angry. At least I can't afford to lose a good friend like her. 'Zee..I was not angry to you because you cheating on me but I was angry because you make me waste my time with you..if you really didn't want me from the first place, you should let me go...if you stay by my side like this ,you will only give me a false hope... I know all this time, you feels nothing to me..but I sincerely love you zee..I wish to make you love me one day..but it means nothing if your heart is already with someone else' I can see her eyes are already full of tears. She is holding back because she want to be cautious about my feelings. She don't want me to feel bad for hurting her. I get up and facing her. My hands holding her back hand caressing it gently. 'I'm sorry camellia.. I can't lie to my own feelings..I already try to accept and love you the way I could but..' I shake my head lightly. I don't know if this is the right thing to say in this moment. Her tears finally falling down her cheeks. 'I understand..we should go on our own ways from now on...let me move on from you' she wipe her tears off his cheeks. 'I don't want to lose a friend' my voice faded at the end feeling unconfident. Can she still accept me as a friend after I hurt her like this? She just waste her 3 years loving someone that would never return her love. If she is not destined to be my lover, at least I want her to always be my best friend. 'Of course..you are my friend forever..but just give me some space..I need to think things through' she put a fake smile. I was her first love so I understand what she could feel. She pull away his hand softly waking past me reaching the bed at the corner. 'Let me sleep here for a while... I don't want my parents to see my swollen eyes' she chuckles putting the blanket over her.

She woke up a few hours later. I send her to the lift and give her one last hug. 'Let me help you' she leans closer to me until our lips almost touch. People from other angles must have thought we are kissing. 'His eyes are on us...guess he is one of the jealousy type' she smile raising her eyebrow. My head turn to nunew watching him mumbling to himself. I walked approaching him to ask about the bruise. I can't stop thinking about the bruised until I know the reason. Who hurt him like this? Is there something happen on his way back from my house that morning? 'Mr zee..I think it's better if we can separate our privacy and work. This didn't concern you.' his response irritated me. Did he do that because he want to mock me? I stare on him angrily and walked away without words. It's better if I keep my mouth shut or else my words will cut like a knife.

I lay on the sofa with arm resting on my forehead. Camellia words intrigued me. 'Zee..you should trust your heart..not all people can accept your relationship..what happened 5 years ago involve the person that you least expected..open your eyes' her expression grow serious keep playing on my mind. I don't know if she know about my past. We never talk about that. What does she mean when it involves other people? Is there someone out there trying to set us apart?