One little love

CHAPTER 15 : Disease

Nunew POV

I look for Hia everywhere but I couldn't find him. He must be nearer. But where did he go? My tears fall down regretting my behavior. 'Hiaa...I'm sorry' I weep loudly. The rain start pour down heavily. I detect a red car gives a left signal at the roadside from afar. Is that his car? I squint my eyes for clearer view. My vision is blurry because of the heavy rain. I stopped my car and found out Hia lie unconsciously at the car seat. I rushly call for emergency care to ask for help. My hand was trembling grabbing the phone tightly. What if something happened to Hia? I brush off my thought .This is not the time to cry, new!

Hia was carried to ICU immediately after he arrived at the neared hospital. I called his parents to inform about Hia condition. 'What happened?' All of his family member gather at the hospital. 'I don't know..I found him on the road unconcious' I hold my hand tight reducing the anxiousness. I need to put myself together. I must! I remind myself. Doctor came out after examined Hia. My heart beat at a fast pace. From the doctor expression, I know he want to convey a bad news . I clench my fist to keep myself calm in the situation. 'I'm sorry..He will not last long..He is at his late stage of stomach cancer..the cancer has spread to other nearby organ' the doctor look down dejected. I kneel down on the ground. I feel like I lost my world. Everything around me looks motionless. Hia will leave me! The tears fall down my cheeks. Why do I have to feel this again? The bitter past keep haunting me. Why must we be apart again. My eyes and nose are reddened with the tears. I was once again defenseless and shattered because of him. The sleepless night, the contemplating suicide..I can't bear this any more. As I slumped myself down, my back leaned on the wall. Mr  Panich look at me with tears already leaking out his eyes. 'He want to see you' his hand hold my arm up. I suppress my emotion and took a deep breath before enter the ward.

I took a seat beside him holding his hand with both of my hands. I need to feel the warmth of Hia. I look down not wanting to see him right now. I'm not strong to see him in this state. His lips look pale. I know now why Hia had the lipstick in his bag. He wore the lipstick so that he can cover his pale lips. He don't want me to be suspicious. How could I accuse him for having other woman behind me? Why am I that cruel? How can I make amends to Hia? And the night he left me alone in our room is because he need to endure the pain. He don't want me to hear he scream in pain. It's all make sense now. Hia hold my face caressed it gently. 'Look at me' Hia whisper weakly lifting my face looking up to him. 'Hiaaa..pleasee...I don't want to lose you' my voice trembling in sadness. 'Don't cry..you will make me cry' Hia eyes are pooling with tears. He wipe the tears falling through my face. 'Why you hide this from me?' my focus was all on him waiting for the answer. He took a while before answering me. 'I..I want our remaining time to fill with joy..I don't want you to feel worried..at least..in this life I have left someone special by your side' he form a small smile. My tears falling uncontrollably and my cry become louder until words can't go through my throat. I can't hold myself back in this state. 'Hiaa..how do I live without you?! How can I! I don't want to live anymore!' my voice echoed throughout the room . Luckily Hia are placed in vip room so we have more privacy. Hia get up holding my wrist ,restraints me from ranting aggressively. Tears already leaking out from his eyes.  'Shhh...Calm down nhu..I'm not going anywhere yet' he pulled me into his hug tightly. Silence began to unfold after a while. Only my sobbing resonates in the room. He patted my back softly. 'Nhuu...you will make me worried if you act this way' Hia breath hitched. I can't accept the reality. This world is too cruel. What I want is just my happiness and it's belong with Hia. Why it is so difficult for me to be happy!  'I don't want you to go!! Ple..assee' I know I can't change anything but I need a miracle. He hold me tightly not wanting to let me go. 'I'm sorry nhuuu...I'm really sorry..I shouldn't make you cry' he speaks in tears. I know Hia also scared to leave me. He also don't want to die .How can I change our fate? He loosened his hug ,wiping my tears after a while. 'Lets go back to our home' he said softly. I nodded slightly in reply.

I lead his way upstairs to our room. Doctor has prescribe him some medicine to relieve the symptoms. Hia lie on the bed and hold me in his hug. 'Hiaa..how long you know about it?' I asked playing with my own finger. I want to have a serious talk with him. 'A month after we married..I never told you before but 5 years ago, I go to London not only to pursue my studies but I have to undergo a surgery to remove my cancerous tissue...I was diagnosed with stomach cancer when I was 16 years old..Nobody know about it except my family' he opened up his past to me. We never bring up what happened 5 years ago because it only full of unpleasant memories. It is not worth to be remembered. 'Do you do any treatment? Chemo?' I asked curiously. 'I did..every weekend' he heaved a deep sigh. I look up to him. I have heard how chemotherapy can give unbearable side effect. That's why lot of people give up on the treatment  'Why? Is it hurt?' he nodded answering. How much pain that he have bear alone all this time? I questioned myself. 'But that is the only way ..for me to live longer with you' he continued with a bitter smile. I lay on his chest and snuggle onto him. 'You are prohibited to say any sensitive things hiaa ..I don't want to cry' I remind him. It's Hia wish so I want to fulfill his request. 'I will be by your side from now on..I will share the pain..you don't have to worry anymore' I look down with my tears falling on Hia shirt. I tugged my head down on Hia chest avoiding his gaze. The air fill in the room turn gloomy and the night died down with our tears.