Don't Look Me in the Eye

Reality

Its not like the movies,
Or the books.
Its not a happily ever after.
Its more of a nightmare.

I confessed my love,
Knowing it'll never work
So I walked away and that was it.

It wasn't us.
It was just me and you.
We weren't together like I wanted it to be.

It didn't grow awkward.
We just sort of split apart.
I made the crack bigger
And now I walk with a heavy heart.

I can no longer share
what I have for a while.
I keep it to myself.
Because you are not there any longer.

I knew this would happen
But couldn't help but hope.
I'm young and have time but it really hurts.

I ignored my common sense.
I ignored my way of life
And let you in past the walls.
I realize now it was a mistake.
A mistake I made but would do again.

Those moments we shared so small and simple.
Might not mean a lot to you but are my world.
Thank you for that no matter how small.
It's memories I cherish with all my heart.

What happened wasn't your fault.
It was mine and so now I must bare the pain of the actions I chose.
Its okay.
I'll be fine in time.

Can we still be close friends?
Ignore the fact that I confessed?
Its not that big of a deal I swear.
Do not focus on the fact that I still scream.
I want to be by your side despite everything.
Please allow that.
Its all I have left.
Its what I cling onto to smile and laugh.
Its who I've become.
My way of life.
So please allow something as small as that.

Its all I ask of you.
So please allow me to
be your close friend
the one you smile and laugh with

I tried my best and it kinda worked.
My efforts sorta paid off.
With the little attention you give me
I thrive and I bloom.
It just hurts knowing you don't think of me like I think of you.

This is my reality.
Its what my world has become.
I cling to a false hope
A candle snuffed out by you.
I'll smile and laugh.
Being as true as can be without you with me.

You'll never understand
How much I cherish you.
How grateful I am that I met you.
Thank you so much for all you have done.
Its more then what most have seen
Don't worry about me.
I'll leave you alone so that you don't have to burden the pain of my love
Because this is reality.