London Has Your Eyes

Chapter 47. Daniel

Shit, shit, shit! The conversation with Alex turned out kind of stupid! It was so weird talking to her and not being with her. She was only a few inches away from me, and I felt her smell and warmth... My hands were reaching for her. But the nasty voice in my head, repeating, "Is that all she told you?" wouldn't shut up. He hit my hands and took her from me. Already. On the very day she ruined everything.

I was staring at her at the altar. The way her eyes wet as Tyler and Janine were saying vows. The way she smiled, how she nervously fingered a small bouquet in her hands. I couldn't take my eyes off her. For a moment I imagined how she and I could stand in the place of the newlyweds. The way she would swear eternal love to me and promise to be faithful. Huh. Fool. This will never happen.

During these days I had time to think about the situation with Anton. His words were no longer so convincing. When the emotions receded, the adrenaline stopped beating, I began to replay our conversation with him again and again. He didn't say it directly, just hinted. Or was I kidding myself? Either way, I decided to find out from Alex.

Tyler and Janine's wedding was like something out of a children's princess tale. But knowing Tyler, I wasn't even surprised. He was willing to do anything to give Janine a fairy tale, and he seemed to have succeeded. It was like a flower grenade had exploded in the church - the room was awash with flowers. They were really everywhere. Although what's the difference? I didn't see them anyway. Just her.

When it was time to leave, I pushed around the car for a long time and desperately looked for any excuse to stall for time. But Alex was nowhere to be seen. At first I was afraid she would miss the banquet and hide somewhere, and we know that Alex likes to make a feint with her ears in front of difficulties; but then I thought she loved Janine too much to leave her on a day like this. So I continued my search for her at the manor.

Music and the buzz of voices fill the hall. Almost everyone seems to have arrived to the party. I slow down a passing waiter and take a glass of champagne from the tray. I could certainly use a little relaxation.

- Daniel, son, - I hear my mother's voice behind me. Her warm arms clasp me in an embrace. - How glad I am that you have arrived after all! - She says.

- I am glad too, Mom. I didn't know if it would work until last. But how could I have missed such an important day for the guys? - I point my glass in the direction of Janine and Tyler.

- They are a great couple, - she says, smiling. - One day we'll celebrate your wedding, too.

- Don't start, - I say. I've always hated that talk.

- Of course, of course. You're right. You should meet a decent girl first. You haven't had much luck with them so far, - she blurts out.

- What are you talking about, mum? - The flow of the conversation is starting to irritate me.

- About Kaitlin and that Alex of yours. Neither of them are worthy of you. It's obvious. Although I thought you'd be more circumspect after the Kaitlin story. But life hasn't taught you anything.

- I'm gonna ask you one more time: what are you talking about?! - My voice is getting louder. My mother always liked to pry into other people's business. In my teenage years, we often fought about it, and in the end she gave up and fell behind. Apparently, I was mistaken.

- Nothing, son, - she pats my chest conciliatorily. - Just be careful so I don't have to clean up after you again. - Apparently, the last words escaped by accident, because mom sharply purses her lips and looks away.

- What do you mean, "clean up"?! - I turn to shouting. The company of people beside us turn around, but then they return to their lively conversation. - What the hell are you talking about? - A little quieter I ask.