Her bags were ready on one side of the room, she stared blankly at the wall in front of her. Her teeth nibbling at her bottom lip absentmindedly. It had been hard keeping her thoughts away from her mom and her dad in the past two days. Her mom, set to join their insane escape mission in only a few days, and her dad, set to be interrogated, if not tortured, by the same man she fell for and was running away with.
Hell of a happy family reunion.
Bucky was out of the apartment more often than not, looking for supplies for the journey. He didn't offer for her to come with him, and she didn't ask. In all honesty, she could have used the distraction, but she had no interest in joining him or investigating the matter any further, knowing too well that although he subtly referred to them as supplies, he mostly meant guns.
She had spent most of the two sleepless nights before their departure trying to discern between the hate that she felt for the situation (aka her dad) from the hate that she felt for Bucky.
James.
James, she reminded herself. He wasn't Bucky anymore. Not to her, at least. Bucky was someone else, someone she once knew; not this man who shared this cold apartment with her. Not this man who looked more and more like all the men she had spent years hating and blaming for her fucked up life. Not this man who hadn't even listened when she cried in his arms, asking him not to involve her dad.
During those two days, she really struggled to let that particular aspect of their conversation go.
Rationally, she understood why they needed to speak with him, she really did... and yet, she didn't understand how he wasn't at least willing to discuss other options, other ways to go about it. She was hurt by the way he handled it, by the fact that in that moment he just shut her out, without even considering taking another path, one that wouldn't lead to her meeting that damned man again.
Did he even fully realise what it meant for her to see him again?
Her Bucky would have stopped and listened, he would have cared for how she felt about it.
It was tough to separate her memories of Bucky from the man she saw in front of her, though. He still wore that adorable pout when he was focusing on something. He still smelled the same, still stretched his impossibly broad back in the same way, frowned the same way. He still entranced her every time he placed his stare on her, intense and all-consuming as ever.
She just wished she could talk to him the same way she always had. She wished she could forget how scared she was of turning into her mom, falling for the guy who wouldn't think twice about torturing someone to obtain information. The guy who would eventually turn his back and leave her when things went wrong; and his line of work, they rarely could go right. She wished she could just let go of all the fear and doubts and resentment; go back to that blissful feeling of contentment that sparked in her chest and made her cheeks blush every time he smiled at her. Instead she felt herself tensing up and wearing a frown every time he entered the room or looked at her, her body closing off to his instinctively.
They had barely interacted with each other in days, mostly sharing the space in silence when they were eating or awkwardly moving around the apartment trying not to bump into each other. She could feel the detachment from him, sensing the way he was slowly distancing himself from her, both physically and metaphorically.
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FanfictionJames Bucky Barnes x OC AU / 18+ mature content We all know the story. Two star-crossed strangers are brought together by fate . They have secrets, huge dark secrets but despite those they fall for each other. They go from being strangers, to frie...