The Better Life

Doctor Visits Part 1

Warning: Tragic memories, drug overdose, offensive language

"Hey, Felicity," Mickey knocked on Felicity's bedroom door. "I just wanted to remind you that you have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. It's just a check-up."

"Okay," Felicity said from behind her book. "That's fine."

"You have to get a shot for the meningitis vaccine."

Felicity stilled. Felicity did not like needles or shots. It was a fear of hers and she didn't have good memories from her past of needles.

"Do I have to?" Felicity asked.

"It's required for you to go to school," Ian explained.

Mickey noticed the scared look upon Felicity's face. Felicity looked nervous in his eyes and her left hand was shaking.

"You alright, Fliss?"

"Um...yeah. I'm fine. All good here."

"Are you sure?" Mickey started.

"Oh no," Ian whispered as he put his head between his hands.

Mickey put his hand up as if it was talking. "Because Mister Fizzles can tell when you're being a liiiiaaar."

Felicity laughed at that. She had full on body laughter, where her shoulders shook and laughter coursed through her. She was bent forward.

"To be honest," Felicity managed to get out through her giggles. "No, I'm not."

"You wanna talk about it? You don't have to," Ian assured her.

"Um, yeah, I actually want to talk about it. I trust you and Mickey."

Felicity went to make space on her bed for Mickey and Ian to sit. She patted the space beside her.

"Um," she began. "Just a warning to you two, I'm probably going to cry. But, I want to talk about this. I need to."

Mickey put his arm around her. "This okay?"

Felicity nodded and snuggled more into Mickey's shoulder. 

"I was six years old," Felicity started. "I got home from kindergarten and my mom wasn't too happy with me. She had had a bad day and didn't have the patience to deal with a little kid who barely socialized with anybody. She blamed it on spending time with my grandmother when my grandma would babysit me, alone for the first four years of my life. I was only really attached to the women in my life. Had a strong attachment to my mom and my grandma. My dad came back into my life when I was three. Anyways, I'm getting really off-topic. I had gotten in trouble that day. Shaun went to a middle school no far from where we lived, so we often walked home together and my mom would pick us up halfway. My sister was 'too cool' to pick me up and I was just an embarrassment to her and her friends. Shaun didn't though. Shaun had stopped by my school to wait for me when these...assholes started making fun of him. Calling...calling him stupid and...retarded. I got so mad when I came out that I saw red. I just started hitting and kicking, telling them they could go fuck themselves."

Felicity laughed dryly through water tears before she continued. "Teachers had to literally pry me off of the kid who called Shaun names. They called my mom. I remember them asking me if I regreted it and if I would apologize. I told them no, that the kid got exactly what he deserved. He was making fun of my autistic cousin. It must've been a sight to see for my mom. Little Felicity Murphy with a black eye and scratches on her arms and legs. All with a smile on my face. Shaun... oh Shaun. He told me I shouldn't've said cuss words. He just saw me try to kick a middle schoolers ass, but his biggest worry was the fact I said 'fuck'. My mom took him home and then she told me to go to my room. I heard over the phone telling one of her friends that 'she couldn't deal with me' and 'she preferred it when I was quiet'. Then, I heard her walking around and it went silent.

Mickey wiped the tears from Felicity's eyes.

"I went downstairs to get water. I knew I wasn't allowed. That was a thing in our house. Once you're told to go to your room, you don't come out of your room unless you have to pee. I saw my mom laying on the couch. I didn't think anything of it. I told her I was sorry for getting into trouble, I wouldn't do it again, blah, blah, blah. She didn't move, so I went over there. She was unconscious and her lips were blue. The thing that drew my attention though was the needle sticking out of her arm. She always told me to not touch the needles, they were for adults only. I-I didn't even do...do anyth-thing. I just st-stood there like a coward."

"Felicity, you are anything but cowardly."

"Not true, but thanks. I remember my sister walking in and screaming. She asked me what was wrong with me and why I hadn't done anything. I was in shock at the time. I didn't fucking know. How's a six-year-old supposed to know what overdose looks like. And do you think a kid with social anxiety is going to talk on the phone? NO. She called 911 immediately. My mom stirred and my sister moved my mom to lay on her side and she yanked the needle out of her arm, which you aren't supposed to do. The needle broke off in my mom's arm. I guess that's part of the reason why I'm terrified of needles, is I'm afraid of it breaking off in my arm. Paramedics got there in a reasonable time. I tried telling them that something was wrong with her arm. They didn't listen to me and rolled her out. Apparently, she overdosed on opioids. So, yeah. I guess that's why I'm afraid of needles. That and the fact they just look scary."

"Fliss."

Ian took a turn in holding Felicity while she broke into heartbreaking sobs. She was sniffling throughout the memory, but she now broke into gut-retching sobs that flowed through her body like her laughter. Her shoulders shook.

Mickey crawled up beside Ian and held Felicity's legs in his lap. Ian brought Felicity's head to his chest. She listened to Ian's heart beating and it soothed her. Her sobs began to slow into whimpers.

"You are anything but cowardly, Felicity. I want you to know that. You just got screwed over when it came to life," Mickey told her. "You are brave, funny, understanding, and kind. You don't have to be ruled by fate. You stood up for what you believed was right at the time, even though you got in trouble."

Felicity nodded her head. Her whimpers eventually subsided. Ian and Mickey switched places and now Mickey was holding Felicity's head to his chest.

Yev found his way into the room.

"Why is Flissy cwying?" Yev asked.

"She's sad," Ian told Yev.

"That's not good."

Yev ran out of the room and into his own room where he had hid his Halloween candy stash. He got M&Ms specifically for Felicity because they were her favorite. He ran back to the room and struggled a little bit to get onto the bed.

"Here you go, Fwissy," Yev said. "M&Ms always make you feel better."

Felicity laughed and took the M&Ms from Yev. She brought Yev to her chest for a hug.

"Thank you, Yevvy."

"You're welcome."

Felicity opened the bag of M&Ms and started eating them.

"Did you quote Castiel, Mickey?" 

"Hmm?"

"The 'you don't have to be ruled by fate' bit?" Ian pointed out. "I think Castiel said that at some point in Supernatural."

"You know, I was trying to be nice and share my words of wisdom. Way to ruin the moment, Gallagher."

Felicity laughed at her fathers. 

"I liked it," Felicity told Mickey. "You know, even small acts of kindness can make a profound difference to somebody else."

"Wow," Ian said. "Where'd you get that quote?"

"Misha Collins."

"Great," Ian joked. "There's two of you now."

Felicity sat up so she could high-five Mickey. Ian playfully rolled his eyes at the two.

"I'm gonna put Yev to bed, guys. Don't stay up to long."

"Yes, Dad," Mickey answered.

"Yes, Dad," Felicity also commented.

*Hey, guys. Definitely an angsty chapter. Working on part two of this though, which will have some fluff in it, so I'm sorry, but I am making up for it. Love you people!*