THRIVE: Book One

Chapter 24- Responsibility

The bed feels soft and warm, but a cool breeze blows over me, giving my bare shoulders goosebumps. For a moment, it felt like I was sleeping on the beach; I could hear the seagulls so close by. As I open my eyes, I see the fuzzy red blankets wrapped around me. At first, it's hard to see where I am, and everything is too bright. The room is practically surrounded by windows, making it feel like I'm outside. As I glance around, I try to sit up while holding the blanket over my bare chest. There are so many beautiful things here, and the shelves are lined with pottery, shells, and precious stones. The walls have been painted colorfully, and intricate tapestries hang from the edges of the ceiling, billowing in the wind. It takes me a moment to realize that Zade is sitting on a couch across the room, staring out at the sky. When he finally glances back at me, he realizes that I am staring at him and begins to smile.

"Good evening," he says softly, brushing his hair back with his fingers. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay, I suppose. How long was I asleep?" I ask, my voice still sounding scratchy.

"Just a few hours; I could tell you needed the rest," he explained sympathetically.

"That's a bit of an understatement." I sighed, holding the blanket around me as I stood up from the bed. "Where are we?" I ask curiously as I look around.

"This is my room," he states as he stands up, looking at the large tapestry across the room. "I thought it was time for you to see it." He smiles as I pick up a small painted-clay statue of a lizard, admiring the detail.

"These are beautiful; I didn't know you collected art," I say as I gently set it down, making my way to one of the windows. We're high above the canopy of the jungle, and I can see the sun setting over the ocean in the distance.

"Actually, I made most of these myself," he explains warmly as he comes over to stand beside me.

"Seriously?" I state in awe, "That's amazing." I can't help but look at everything in greater admiration. Zade has always seemed so cold and meticulous, and I would never have guessed he loved to create things with such gentle intricacy.

"This may come as a surprise to you," he begins as he gently brushes my hair back behind my ear, "but I appreciate beautiful things." He smiles as he starts to lean in, gently kissing my neck. Somehow for a moment, I lost myself in it; his touch was so warm and inviting. Suddenly, my heart started pounding, and reality hit me like a swift kick to the chest. I remembered everything he had done not only to me but also to Rain, Corrina, and Kaya. My skin hurt even though the bruises had long faded, and I kept seeing the anger on his face as he threw me around, abusing me like I was nothing. Worst of all, I remember the twisted smile he had given me as he realized that I would be all his.

Terrified, I pushed away and fell backward onto the floor, smashing my elbows as the blanket fell to the side. I try to crawl back frantically until I hit a shelf, causing a few shells to crash on the ground around me. My heart is rapidly pounding, and I can't breathe, sweating profusely as I scrunch myself into a ball. Zade's face grew pale as he knelt down, carefully trying to approach me.

"Umbree, it's okay. You're safe now," he explains cautiously.

"No!" I screamed as loud as I could. I could hear my words echoing outside.

"Please calm down; no one is going to hurt you here," he states as he reaches out to me.

"Don't touch me!" I shriek as I withdraw further into myself.

"Please, I-"

"How can I believe you after everything you've done?" I cry, and for the first time, I see the greatest look of shame on his face. "Zade, you can't just kiss me and expect me to forget everything; you- you just can't!" I scream, becoming hysterical. Zade takes a deep breath as he slides back, sitting against the wall, hanging his head in shame between his knees.

"Umbree, please listen to me." He begins calmly, "I have been a despicable person, not only to you but many others, long before we had even met. I know you have no reason to believe me, but the horrible things I did weren't... me. I'm not that person, and when you told me that you were expecting, it was like a part of me that has been locked away for so long had finally awakened again." he explains, resting his arms on his knees as he stares blankly at his feet. I try to relax my muscles as I see the look of desperation on his face; this guilt is not something that can be faked.

"You can't just expect me to feel comfortable around you as if nothing has happened." I state boldly, "If you really want me to believe that you are going to change for the better, you have to prove yourself first. You better not send me back to that hell hole downstairs." I explain as he looks up at me, tears streaming down his face.

"You are never going back there, I promise. And somehow, I'll find a way for you to trust me again." He sighs. "All I can think about now is how much I need to protect you," he explains as he desperately looks into my eyes.

"Again? You should already know that I never have." I sigh, hugging my knees.

"I promise I will never stop trying to prove that you can," he says calmly as he stands up, gently draping the blanket over me.

"If that's true, then I know one thing you can do to start," I state as I suddenly glare at him.

"Anything, just name it." he offered, seeming hopeful.

"I need you to tell me exactly what happened to Kaya," I state bluntly, and suddenly, his face drops.

"I've been waiting for you to ask about that. I know that everything you've heard must seem... confusing." he began nervously.

"The other day, when Serene and Blaze were at each other's throats, she made it sound like he was the one responsible. But I don't think that's true." I state, recalling that exchange. Zade sighs and once again offers me his hand. Reluctantly, I take it, carefully walking over to the couch.

"In the last few months she was here, Kaya started having severe problems. She started hallucinating and getting confused, and she couldn't tell what was real and what was just her imagination anymore. Ama started looking after her and trying to do what she could to help, but her mind was trapped in what seemed like a waking nightmare." he explains as he begins to pace. "One night, I asked Blaze to keep her company while I was away. At some point, he dozed off, and when he woke up, she was gone. She had taken that opportunity to sneak out and go to Talon Cliff." he pauses, glancing out at sunset. "We didn't find her until after she had jumped."

"...are you serious?" I start shaking as I try not to picture it in my mind.

"Her mind was so far gone, I don't think she even knew what she was doing." He sighs as he cautiously sits down beside me. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner." This revelation was already breaking me, I had been searching for the truth, but I felt worse now that I had finally found it. Without realizing it, I lean into Zade's arms as I start to cry. The floodgates had opened, and the two years of worry came out at once.

"I miss her so much," I whimper into his chest, and he holds me tighter as he gently strokes my shoulder with his fingers.

"I miss her too."