THRIVE: Book One

Chapter 72- Take Back Control

I feel like I haven't slept in days. Every time I try, the nightmares just keep getting worse and worse. I keep seeing it happen over and over again until I wake up screaming. It's past the middle of the day and I still feel completely exhausted, there is no such thing as rest anymore. I open my eyes and stare at the red-painted ceiling, trying to think about something else. It was strange, Serene's whole room was painted red, and all of her things seem to match it as well. I have been staying with her for the past week, I don't know if I'll ever be able to go back to my room. Just seeing it reminds me of what happened, and as it stands now, it's just an empty tomb of past dreams.

"Umbree, it's nearly sunset, you have to get out of bed at some point." Serene sighs as she comes in.

"Why?" I huff as I pull the blanket over my face. "If one more servant gives me that look, I'm gonna lose it."

"What look?" she asks as she sits down beside me, pulling the blanket away from my face.

"The devastated look." I sigh "Everyone knows what happened and seeing the way they look at me now just makes it worse." I roll over and bury my face in my pillow.

"Umbree, look at me." she rolls me back over and tilts my head forward "Everyone is going to keep looking at you as if you're made out of glass until they see you looking strong again. I'm not saying you need to just get over it, but the longer you don't do anything at all, the worse you're going to feel." she explains. I pull my head back as I sit up, tucking my knees into my chest.

"So what do I do?" I sigh, resting my chin on my knees.

"Well, first you have to let someone in. Then they can help you figure out what you need to do to start feeling better." she explains, forcing a smile "When was the last time you talked to Zade?" I look down and rest my forehead on my knees and sigh.

"Yesterday. He checked on me but I didn't really want to talk." I sigh as I run my fingers over the hairs on my legs.

"Why are you pushing him away?" Serene asks worriedly. I roll my head back and hold back tears, but they started coming anyway.

"Because I failed him. Or... my body failed him." I sigh "I don't even know anymore. It's just hard to face him now." Serene climbs up more on the bed and pulls me forward into her chest.

"Hun, this isn't your fault. You didn't fail, there was nothing you could do." she explains, starting to cry herself "Zade is worried about you, but he's giving you your space because he wants to respect your wishes. He doesn't blame you, I promise."
"I did fail, I lost control and literally couldn't do anything about it. My body failed me and my daughter suffered because of it." I sigh, "Nothing you say is going to convince me otherwise." I start to pull away from her, but she doesn't let me look away.

"Umbree, listen to me. You say your body failed you, but you're forgetting one very important thing right now." she explains sternly "After what happened you... you should have died. Most women who go through what you did die in childbirth, but somehow, you made it. Why do you think that is?" she asked. I slump back and stare at her in disbelief for a minute.

"What are you saying?" I ask frustratedly.

"You are a fighter. You are one of the strongest people I have ever met, and that's only counting this lifetime alone." Serene explains "You say your body failed you, and I agree, in some ways it did. But it also saved your life somehow." I look away as I wipe the tears from under my eyes.

"What if I wished it hadn't?" I sigh.

"I can't answer that for you. But you're here now, and that's what matters. Life is meant to be lived, and I think I know what you need." she explains. "You think you don't have control anymore, and I am going to prove you wrong." she suddenly stands up and takes my hands, helping me out of bed.

"What are you doing?" I ask worriedly.

"Get dressed, I'm getting you out of here," she says as she throws some of her clothes at me.

"Serene, I-"

"I'm not asking," she says as she starts to make her way toward the door.

"Where are you going?" I call out as I stare at the outfit she had thrown at me.

"To talk to your husband," she states as she leaves. I sigh and shake my head as I get dressed. Serene has such strange taste, this is one of the least revealing outfits of hers I have seen, but it's still a bit much. The top showed off my chest quite a bit, but the skirt was high-waisted, covering my tummy and hanging down to my upper thighs. I peruse her collection of jewelry and find some earrings and a necklace that matched. I looked over the turquoise necklace that Zade had given me but decide to leave it behind. I wasn't ready. As I make my way to the window, I look out over the city, seeing the shadows the buildings make on the ground as the sun begins to set. Suddenly, Serene comes back looking excited.

"He agrees." she smiles, then looks me up and down "Looking hot, girl," she says as she wanders over to me, taking my hands.

"Where are we going?" I ask, feeling nervous.

"Don't worry, you're gonna love it." she smiles as she starts to pull me to the door. On our way out, we run into Zade in the hall. I freeze when I see him, and he starts to stare at me.

"You look beautiful," he smiles. I try not to meet his gaze, but it's hard to avoid.

"Thank you." I say quietly when he suddenly comes up and hugs me "Do whatever you need to do, okay?" he asks kindly. I stay quiet but nod my head as I let go.

"I'll take good care of her, don't worry brother." Serene states as she takes my hand and leads me down the hall. I turn back and see Zade wave as we go, I wish I didn't feel so guilty when I see him. Serene quickly leads me down the stairs and we pass through the throne room on our way to the front entrance. As we make it outside, we run into Eloy on the stairs.

"Hey ladies, looking lovely." he smiles as he comes over to kiss Serene. "Where are you off to?" he asks. Serene looks at him and smirks.

"You want to meet us there?" she asks excitedly, her voice starting to sound twisted.

"Sure, once Calem gets back I'll head over." he smiles. Serene quickly pulls me down the front stairs and as it gets darker we head further and further into the city, slowly getting closer to the slums. Serene suddenly pulls me around a tight corner down an alley and stops in front of an old, beat-up, wooden door. She knocks three times before it cracks open, a man with a tattoo under his eye peeks out and smiles when he sees us.

"Miss Serene, welcome back." he says excitedly "And Miss Umbree, welcome," he says politely as he slowly pulls the door open.

"After you." Serene smiles as she pushes me forward. I can't believe my eyes when I step inside, I'm overwhelmed within a matter of seconds.

"Scara, where are we?" I ask in disbelief.

"Welcome to The Cursed Veil." Serene smiles.