Supernova

Chapter Fifty Nine - A Grave Mistake

TW: suicide, violence, fully unhinged Cass, brainwashed Elias just kind of continuing to be a psychopathic dickwad, etc. Sorry y'all.  

Kiri was lying leisurely and reclined in a hospital bed, a gown wrapped around his shoulders, the open front giving way to the bandages that wrapped their way around his chest. His red hair was wrapped up in a bandana, as always, but fought against it as his gel had given way and pieces were hanging limply out of it. He looked tired, and it clearly bothered him to adjust as he sat himself up when he caught sight of me in the doorway, but his smile was wide and he waved me over.

"Hey, trooper," I told him. I could hear the smile. Thank God. "How's it hanging?"

I suddenly felt very emptyhanded, like I should have bought something, the way people do in movies. I didn't know the protocol for this either, admittedly. My family was indestructible, and I'd always been rather lacking in the friends department. The friends without healing blood, the ability to handle themselves, or a pocket full of recalibration tablets, anyways.

"Never better," he told me. It was only halfway a joke. He really was, I reminded myself, just that great of a guy. Even though it certainly hurt to do so, he tapped his chest a couple times. "Just a few scratches."

"I'm so happy you're alive," I told him honestly, my voice suddenly very shaky.

His own grin fell too. "Me too."

We looked at each other for a while. His eyes were nearly the same colour as Bakugo's, such a deep passionate red, but they couldn't look more different. Instead of explosions, they flared in heartbeats. Instead of charging at you, they welcomed you in, made you coffee, asked you to stay a while.

One of his hands patted a spot on the bed next to him. I hesitated. Hospitals were very strange about germs. I couldn't fall ill, but I certainly could contract them. I stood by the hand sanitizer for a while, wiping it over my arms, my legs, my face, swishing a bit of it, which had a distinctly sharp taste, similar to alcohol and Elias, around in my mouth before spitting into the trashcan. It made Kiri laugh, and that made it worth it. When I felt myself sufficiently clean, I decreased my density as much as I could and slid into the small spot he'd allotted for me next to him. I leaned my head onto his shoulder slowly, listening for a wince. Whether it hurt or not, he didn't show it.

"I'm so sorry," I told him.

"For what?" He asked. It was not a test. I didn't have to see his eyes to know that.

"Everything," I admitted.

"Cass, that was a difficult mission, for all of us," he then told me. I recognized the tone before the words. "You can't beat yourself up about it. Everyone has opponents that are out of their league. We all made it out alive. That's what matters."

Hearing his soft voice and the images he'd created of the previous day made me sick and broke my heart. He genuinely believed what he said too, but did I? Everyone has opponents that are out of their league, sure. Even me. I'm not so delusional that I don't know that. I just so very rarely encounter them on the battlefield.

But I knew something else, too. Getting out alive was not all that mattered. There certainly existed, beyond a shadow of a doubt, fates worse than death.

I was about to say I guess, or even, you're right, but we were both taken off guard by a figure appearing in the doorway, who greeted us both with, "What the fuck is going on here?"

His voice wasn't angry, I didn't think, but it was solid, and demanded an answer. I couldn't give one right away. My face must have done something impressively stupid upon seeing him, because I didn't do anything mindful to it, and Bakugo smiled, kind of, and then had to mindfully shake his head and morph his face back into an uneasy glare.