Supernova

Chapter Ninety Nine - The Queen & The Commoner

A/N: because we hadn't lost faith in our boy, had we?

I didn't want to go.

In fact, the mere thought made me want to puke. But if there was still a glimmer of hope of this plan working, it would lie in one of Elias' clues, and if he went through all the trouble of gifting me a book, it was probably going to be in there. I was all but kicking myself for not thinking of it earlier.

But, fuck I really didn't want to go.

I didn't want to see him. If there was anyone I wouldn't be able to hold it together around, it would be Katsuki. I still couldn't even look at him. Even the smell of him in the desk behind me made me want to fucking lose it. I knew the pattern of his breath, his footsteps, the sound of every subtle action that was undoubtedly him, and they were all driving me insane. Looking him in the face seemed monumental. Having a conversation, damn near impossible.

But I didn't have a choice.

So, one day after I met Aizawa for an uneventful recalibration session, I texted both Jojo and Elias both saying that I'd be a bit late, I needed to go pick up a textbook from a classmate.

See you soon, wrote Jojo.

I'll miss you, can't wait to see you, wrote Elias.

Whatever Elias, thought Cassie.

I'm going to fucking puke, I thought next. And then, I made the horrible climb up the front steps to the dorm building I'd since lost permission to live in, swung open the front door, and stepped inside.

He was in the common space.

Oh, fuck me! I thought at least he'd be in his room already, and I could just head upstairs without a worry or a word, but no, of course luck wouldn't shine down on me. Why the fuck would it? Why the fuck had I expected it to? No, of course this wasn't going to be easy. We were going to have to do this in front of everyone.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Mina screamed. "Iida! Kick her out!"

"This building is for Class A students," the class rep told her, the sentence questioning itself halfway through.

Right. I didn't have a room or permission to live here, but for the time being, I was technically one of them.

I didn't bother with any of my regular discourse. I tuned it all out. I'd come for a reason, and I was already feeling shaky enough.

When I caught Katsuki's eye, a considerable feat that sent a horrible gash of something through the inside of my chest, I could see he knew why I'd come. Every step was excruciating, but I forced myself through them, until I was looking down on him sitting in the armchair. The taste of blood tickled the back of my throat. I swallowed it down like my life depended on it.

Which, spoiler alert, it did.

"You have something of mine," I told him plainly. The words were a struggle to get out, but they didn't shake.

He didn't say anything. He just got up and started walking towards the elevators.

I followed. Even when we dipped into the back hallway, he didn't speak to me. He didn't even look at me. He just walked those footsteps I knew all too well right up to the elevator door, pushed the button, and put his hands in his pockets.

I had been worried to talk to him, but I genuinely couldn't decide whether this was better or worse.

The two of us stepped into it just as silently. I wasn't making a point to look at him; in fact, I could barely stomach it. But I could see from the side glances that he wasn't looking at me. He didn't look all that troubled. He pushed the button for the fourth floor, shoved his hands back in his pockets, and watched the panel of buttons. I watched the doors as they slid shut, focusing on the slight reflection of my own image, trying not to imagine how one of our first real kisses had taken place in this elevator.