Supernova

Chapter One Hundred and Eleven - The Asshole Formerly Known as Heir Stronghold

I was very much regretting scheduling both negotiations for the same day. When we'd planned this, I thought it would be a day full of victories, just me pulling punches and gloating across the board, but I felt so shaky that I didn't know if I'd make it through the second with my nerves intact.

At least we had the sense to break for lunch. Aizawa had to go check on Eri, so he took off, but not before promising he'd be back before the next round. And not before handing us over to someone else to keep an eye on us.

I felt this odd derealization when we walked into the staff room to find All-Might waiting there for us. Elias, cane and all, had to take my arm. It reminded me of a simpler time. One that was millions of miles of wreckage away.

He looked happy to see us. I didn't know if I imagined the hint of pity in it, but I saw it. He invited us to sit anyways, and we did.

"How are things going?" he asked us, in such a way that it became clear that he'd been more or less filled in.

"One out of two down," Elias said, surprisingly eager to open up to this complete stranger. "And I'd say it went quite well."

I nodded in agreement. It was all I could muster. I was focused on my food, hoping it would give me everything I needed to face the rest of the day.

All-Might wasn't letting me off that easily. "Young Stronghold, I know you're probably getting tired of hearing it, but you really did well."

I nodded again, choked the bite down, didn't say anything.

"Hostages rescued, no casualties, minimal collateral damage," All-Might continued. "That's what we'd call a perfectly executed mission."

All I could do was nod. It didn't feel perfect. There were moments that it didn't even really feel like a victory, and I wasn't sure when it would. It felt like we were still in the midst of it, there was so much further left to go, and I wasn't sure how much longer my legs could go without giving out.

"She's too modest," Elias lied.

"She's recovering," All-Might countered, not even missing a beat. "A mission like that, long term, with recon, so many moving parts, it's hell on the mind."

And in yet another classic Cassie Stronghold moment, I had to look up from my food, because I'd started crying. I felt it this time. The pricking at my eyes, the sting in my nose, the pools that formed in my eyes before the wells broke.

It was another thing I didn't know I'd needed to hear. It had been hell on my mind. It didn't matter that he'd had a plan or that he'd thought it out or that it had all been for the greater good. Elias had betrayed me, and it had broken my heart. It didn't matter that I knew my father was capable of awful things, and I was hardly an exception to how far he was willing to go for his own interests, but being faced with how cruel he could be to me without batting an eye had been soul crushing. It didn't matter than things were calming themselves, that they were mostly okay now, that I'd gotten everyone back, having everyone that had come to be so dear to me ripped from my hands and made to spend weeks upon weeks being selfish and cruel to them after they'd welcomed me into their school, their lives, their arms. It had been torture.

Katsuki? Well, that was an entirely different level of pain.

Elias offered me a hand. I didn't take it.

"It was awful," I whispered.

"I know," All-Might said.

And he did, I realized. Elias didn't know. SHA missions had been nothing but fucking around. American missions were violence, nothing more. But this, this was a special type of hell I genuinely felt I might never recover from. I felt empty and hollow even after the fact. It made me think of nights before, not sleeping in my own room, the shakes and the gasps and the cold sweats. It made me sick to think I'd once asked with such casualty, haven't you been kidnapped?